First things first, we’re back on iTunes. To subscribe all you have to do is search for “Insanity Check” in the iTunes store or click this link to subscribe.
Topics for this show:
How does Keanu Reeves stay employed when he peaked in 1992 with Bram Stoker’s Dracula?
The Keanu Reeves is a leech theory
Nicholas Cage is broke? But he owns a fucking castle
Joe Lieberman on the Sunday Morning news shows speaking on why he’s a douchebag
Why the “Americans care about jobs and the Economy not Healthcare” argument is stupid
The non-logic of conservatives/republicans on anything
Its been 135 days since the GOP promised to have a Healthcare bill of their own

We’re looking for writers for TheInsanityReport.com and guests for the Insanity Check Podcast. If you are interested, email us at InsanityCheck@theInsanityReport.com. Also hit us up if you’re good with graphic designs or music production (we’re looking for a new opening for the podcast). Join the Facebook Group for weekly updates on Facebook or follow us on Twitter.

SayIt Ain’t So Joe

“I told Senator Reid that I’m strongly inclined–i haven’t totally decided, but I’m strongly inclined–to vote to proceed to the health care debate, even though I don’t support the bill that he’s bringing together because it’s important that we start the debate on health care reform because I want to vote for health care reform this year. But I also told him that if the bill remains what it is now, I will not be able to support a cloture motion before final passage. Therefore I will try to stop the passage of the bill.”

There are a lot of democrats that are kicking themselves in the nuts for not being more forceful on the issue of Joe Lieberman after the election in November.  Come on.  Who is really still surprised by Lieberman’s betrayals?  This guy isn’t an independent, he isn’t a Democrat…he’s a Republican in Sheep’s (i.e. Democrat) clothing.  He actively campaigned for John McCain against Barack Obama, many times supporting flat out lies. It’s a testament to the lack of intestinal fortitude that democrats have that Lieberman kept his committee chair positions.  Joe Lieberman is and has always been a douchebag. With Harry Reid coming out and saying that Democrats are close to getting a Public Option in the final Senate Bill you know Republicans called up Lindsey Graham and John McCain and told them it was time to activate the “Manchurian Candidate” in Joe Lieberman so that they could stall the voting process.

Hey Remember When….
Republicans were complaining about the Michael Jackson resolution in the House?  Well, never ones to recognize their own hypocrisy, Rep. Tom Price and 75 of his republican colleagues introduced H.R.870 which is a resolution to officially commemorate the 9/12 taxpayer march on Washington.  Some of the sponsors of this bill are Eric Cantor and…surprise surprise, Michele Bachmann.  How absolutely ridiculous is this? Of course, I doubt any of these congressmen and congresswomen will put out a resolution to recognize the Gay Rights marches that happened after the 9/12 marches.

Shep Smith is Awesome
Once again Shep Smith proves why he doesn’t need to be on Fox News.  He’s one of the only fair and balanced people on a network that claims to be “Fair & Balanced”.    Honestly, Shep might be one of the fairest people on any cable news program.  How many hosts do you know, left or right, would admit and apologize for not having a balanced segment?

This is Why You Don’t Swim in Australian Waters

Great White Sharks are Mother Nature’s way of saying “Hey you dumb shits, don’t swim here”.  I mean come on, did you see the bite radius left behind?  One woman talking about “I have small children”…bitch that shark will EAT YOU, fuck your kids.

Baltimore City Cop Fucks Up…What a Shocker….
I can honestly say that I’m not shocked nor am I surprised when I see a story about a Baltimore City cop doing something incredibly stupid.  Who the hell goes to a staged Haunted House with a gun?  Well, I know Glenn Beck probably would since he went to the theater with a gun but come on.  You’re a police officer.  What the Hell?  Here’s the really sad thing:

According to charging documents, Janik smelled of alcohol and told police two different stories about what he did with the gun. First, he denied drawing the weapon, but later he said he pointed it at the ground.[....] A security guard had been following Janik’s group, which included his 9-year-old daughter, through the haunted house because Janik appeared to be drunk when he arrived, House of Screams owner Tony Sapanero said.

Nice.  Going to a haunted house, with your 9-year old daughter…drunk, with a loaded gun.  Please, fire this man and restrict him from ever owning another firearm.  Thanks

No Food and Beverage Tax
You’ve probably seen this commercial or one like it:

Now its already been established that this woman isn’t some regular Joe Blow like you or me.  Jon Stewart pointed that out earlier this year that she’s worked for the RNC.  But lets leave that point out right now.  My problem with this commercial and those who defend it is that they make it seem as if paying more for sodas and snacks is a burden on regular Americans.  Ummmm…last time I checked you could still drink water.  Its no secret that Americans are among the fattest fucks in the World.  The way I see it, higher taxes on foods that kill you is like putting a tax on cigarettes.  You want to slowly kill yourself, fine…no problem…pay a little more.  I love chips and if I have to pay 50 cents more I’ll do that…and hell, it might even force me to cut down on my candy and chip intake.  Hell, why is this even an issue?  Coca Cola is used to clean off car batteries…and you want to ingest that regularly?  Hey, enjoy but pay the fucking tax.  You want to complain about the tax but remember, all those fat poor people that use the ER for their regular doctors are draining your pockets as well.

Once again I have to wonder just how the Republican party is able to attract minorities to its ranks.  From Blacks to Women to Gays, it just doesn’t make any sense to me.  Yeah I know, minority who are republicans will always say that it was republicans who supported the Civil Rights act.  Hell, Glenn Beck recently said that “Slave Owners” used to be called “progressives”.  That’s real cute Glenn.  Do you want to know what slave owners would be called today?  Republicans.

No, don’t even try to look at me like that.  I have the facts to back me up.  Hell, just listen to republicans themselves and you couldn’t begin to tell me that they are “Minority Friendly.”  Remember Senator Kyl saying that maternity care shouldn’t be in the Health Reform bill because “He doesn’t need it?” Oh that’s not good enough for you?  How about the fact that 30+ Senators voted against Senator Al Franken’s amendment to make it against the law for the government to contract private companies that made their employees sign contracts that limited them from prosecuting people that sexually assaulted them while they were overseas?  The republican reasoning?  “Who are we to interfere in the business of private companies?”  Apparently rape falls under the “We don’t care about it if its gonna mess up our profit margins or campaign financing”.

And then there’s the Hate Crime Bill.  Republicans have long stood in the way of adding attacks against gays to the list of hate crimes.  Why?  Who knows.  They use some convoluted logic to suggest that it infringes on Freedom of Speech and Freedom of Religion because you know, Jesus hated faggots.

Conservatives have opposed it, arguing that it creates a special class of victims. They also have been concerned that it could silence clergymen or others opposed to homosexuality on religious or philosophical grounds.

What?!?!?  I don’t know where to start picking this apart.  It creates a special class of victims?  Hmmm, so does that mean the Republicans are okay with removing laws that say crimes against Police Officiers or Federal Employees are automatically bumped up to First Degree Murder?  What’s that?  That’s different?  Riiiiight. And what the hell is up with the second part?  “It could silence clergymen”?  Seriously?  I enjoy the 1st Amendment as much as anyone but if your clergymen is up at the pulpit saying “All faggots should be killed” and then he goes out and kills a gay guy, guess what?  He just committed a hate crime.  Hey Republicans, don’t you think you’re focusing on the wrong thing here?  You’re worried that the guy who was screaming out “Faggot” as he beat a gay guy within an inch of his life is going to get a harsher sentence when you should be more concerned with the fact that HE BEAT A MAN WITHIN AN INCH OF HIS LIFE.  I mean come on people, this shouldn’t even be up for debate.  Yes, I would love to live in a world where all people are treated with respect and therefore all crimes against all people would be treated equally.  The problem is, we don’t live in that world.  I also don’t believe that this is the true GOP position (That they are against certain crimes getting “special treatment.”).  The real reason the GOP takes this position is because their base doesn’t see anything wrong with beating up or killing gays, just like they don’t have a problem with beating up or killing ‘niggers’.  Honestly, I’d much rather they come and just say that (”Hey, we’re just catering to our base”) than trying to act all high and moral about this.

Mark Sanford is God’s way of telling us that Republicans are on his shit list for the next 4 years.  Honestly, this guy has to be the dumbest cheating man I’ve ever seen in my life.  His original press conference, where it took him damn near 7 minutes to cut to the chase and admit to cheating on his wife, is already a classic.  But as more details come up and as this idiot continues to give interviews, the story just becomes more hilarious with each passing second.  First we find out that his wife found out about his affair and they had been separated two weeks before his Argentinean excursion.  Then after telling his wife that he wanted to reconcile, he lives his State leaderless during Fathers Day Weekend (he has 4 kids) to go spend it with the woman he’s been having an affair with.  How inconspicuous did he think he was really going to be?  Then the emails come out last week and I must say…HILARIOUS.

But this is what takes the cake:

South Carolina Gov. Mark Sanford, already struggling to salvage his family and his political career after admission of a scandalous affair, added explosive details Tuesday, including more visits with the mistress he calls his “soul mate” and additional women in his past.

The once-promising presidential prospect said he is committed to reconciling with his wife, but professed to The Associated Press his continued love for the Argentine woman at the center of the firestorm that gutted his political future.

I swear…every time Sanford takes his foot out of his mouth, he kicks himself in the teeth again.  Seriously, who is Sanford’s Public Relations person and why isn’t he telling the Governor to shut the fuck up?  Seriously, Sanford reminds me of a villain in a movie who gives a long ass monologue to the protagonist, telling them the who, what, when, where and why of his evil plan…just so he can be foiled.  On second thought, Sanford isn’t cool enough to be a villain.  He’s one of those idiot criminals on Law & Order that feels the need to confess the full details of their crime, much to the dismay of their lawyer, even though the cops and D.A. have nothing but circumstantial evidence.  What an idiot.

If it seems like I’m taking too much pleasure in Sanford’s pain, its because I am.  See, hypocritical republican ass clowns like Sanford talk all this shit about morals when it comes to Gay Marriage and Gay rights but then they’re living knee deep in immorality themselves.

And in case you missed the “EPIC FAIL” press conference:

People On FBI Terrorist Watch List Can Buy Guns
Oh America…how I love the asinine logic used to create laws.  Let me see if I can get this straight.  If you are on the FBI Terrorist Watch List, you can’t board an air plane…but you can buy a gun.  This is just the latest example of the ass-backwardness of this country.  The NRA of course is defending the rights of these individuals saying that the terrorist watch list is flawed.  I actually agree with them on this.  Remember, Ted Kennedy was once stopped from boarding a plane because his name appeared on the list.   Now most people will focus on the sensationalized headlines “Terror watchlist suspects can buy guns” and never notice that the truth is, the lists themselves are flawed.  Ted Kennedy is one of the most recognizable government officials and he had to get the then head of Homeland Security to get his name off the list.  Hell, Martin Luther King was on an FBI watch list at one point. Instead of a watch list, how about we just….I don’t know…have some real fucking security instead?  Obviously the watch list isn’t useful when youhave a famous, sitting United States senator on the list.  And another thing…if there was a terrorist trying to board…don’t you think they’d use a fake ID?

Joe Scarborough on John McCain and Lindsey Graham

I’m always talking about how much of a douchebag tool Joe Scarborough is, but I have to give the man credit when he does something right.

Don’t get too excited.  Even a broken clock is right twice a day.  But seriously, what the hell are John McCain and his trusty Side Kick/secret lover Lindsey Graham thinking?  Of course the President is on the side of the protesters.  What, you think he wants Iran to keep their “Death to America” attitude going?  Like he doesn’t have enough shit to worry about.  I just find it unbelievable that fuckers like McCain and all the other GOP assclowns can speak against the President now…when most of them claimed that speaking against Bush was “unAmerican”.

Governor Sanford goes AWOL
Okay, first some background on who this assclown is.  Remember back when the President was pushing to get his Economic Stimulus Recovery plan passed?  Remember when there was a group of republican governors who claimed they were going to turn down the stimulus money?  Well Governor Asshat (read:  Sanford) was the only one of those Governors to take his fight to refuse the bailout money to court.  He lost. Not only did the law makers in his state want the money, but so did the people. So fast forward to a couple of days ago when it came out that no one had seen or heard from the Governor…not even his own family.  Now his aides have said that he went “hiking” on the Appalachian Trail.   Now maybe that’s true.  Maybe, in typical Republican douchebaggery, the Governor being a sore loser decided to “pack up his ball” and go home.  But over Father’s Day weekend?  Not talking to your wife or kids?  That seems a little more than odd, it seems down right suspicious.  Honestly though, I could care less if he really did go hiking or if he decided to go on a 4-day coke and hooker binge.  What bothers me is that as the Executive of a state, he up and leaves without telling his Lieutenant Governor or any other State government officials where he is going or how to contact him in an emergence.  What the hell kind of irresponsible behavior is that?  I’m a lowly computer programmer and even I can’t just up and disappear for 4 days without letting my boss and coworkers know where I am or at the very least, how to reach me.  This isn’t me being partisan.  If a democratic governor did the same thing I’d be calling for their resignation as well.  This is completely unacceptable.

Sanford’s office acknowledged that it had no idea where exactly along the Appalachian Trail – a 2,200 mile route that crosses 14 states – he had been walking. His spokesman refused to discuss whether he had been accompanied by anyone.

“He’s an avid outdoorsman. Nobody’s ever accused our governor of being conventional,” the spokesman said.

I guess no one’s ever accused him of being ’smart’ either.
*Update*
I wrote the above last night. Turns out the Governor wasn’t hiking but he was in Argentina for 7 days. WTF? A sitting Governor just up and leaves to go out of the country, with no security or nothing? No notes to his next in command. His own family doesn’t even know? Over Father’s Day weekend? Oh this mofo was getting it in with coke and hookers…no doubt.

Palin Might Not Run in 2010
While I think she’s dumb brain dead polar bear cub, I have to give it to the Alaskan Governor, she knows how to stretch out 15 minutes of fame.  I guess someone’s been reading up on “Attention Whoring for Dummies” since November 5^th.  As dumb as she is, even I don’t think Governor Sarah Palin is that stupid to not run for re-election next year.  It doesn’t make any sense.  The best way for her to stay in the spot light is to be a current governor and not some former governor has been that is struggling to stay relevant.  Then again, maybe not being Governor will allow her to focus on important things like map reading and understanding simple foreign policy.

Oh Richard Nixon
And you wonder why minorities don’t like Republicans.  You have an asshole of a republican, who was President, saying while being taped, that interracial pregnancies are a legitimate reason for getting an abortion.  Oh wait…what is it that Black Republicans always say “But Lincoln freed the slaves.”  GTFOH with that bullshit.  I love how those fuckers always skip over republican dickwads like this when they try to shovel the republican shit onto their fellow African-American.

GOP Women’s Group Compares Obama to Hitler
Again, its things like this that will keep most African Americans from every being republican.  I’m beginning to think Republicans are allergic to common sense.

Dear Friends:

Obama and Hitler have a great deal in common in my view. Obama and Hitler use the “blitzkrieg” method to overwhelm their enemies. FAST, CARPET BOMBING intent on destruction. Hitler’s blitzkrieg bombing destroyed many European cities – quickly and effectively. Obama is systematically destroying the American economy and with it AMERICA. First the banking/investment industry, next private enterprise (GM and Chrysler) and now HEALTH CARE.

We too CAN fight back. Contact everyone you know. Start a blitzkrieg of our own. Shut down the Capitol switchboards and the White House switchboards! Say NO to the Obamination of Obama Care!

Another Press Conference, Another Dumbass question
Reporters that ask dumbass questions at Press conferences should be forced to commit seppuku right on the spot.  A secret service agent (Actually, it would probably be more fitting if Rahm Emmanuel did it) should come up to them, remove the microphone from their hand and hand them a ritualistic sword and they should then be forced to impale themselves.  I guarantee you that after a couple of those, there won’t be nearly as many retarded ass questions.

Seriously, I really do have some pending posts where I criticize the President.  But every time I go to work on them, some Republican shows up and does something retarded and it gets me sidetracked.  This time its RNC Chairman Michael Steele who is trying a “do over” since the heat he took for some of his actions a couple weeks back.  If I may give the Chairman some advice:  Go back to your self imposed cone of silence and solitude.  I was honestly going to give this lunatic a chance, solely because he holds the hopes and dreams of so many young minority conservative republicans in his hands.  Seriously, you talk to a young black republican or a “Hip Hop Republican” and the way their eyes light up when they talk about Steele its like a kid that’s being told Santa is coming.  Honestly, as much of an asshole as I am…I just don’t have the heart to tell these fools “Santa” ain’t real. Yeah, Steele can try to talk and act like he’s hip and such but when he does I sorta look at him like I looked at my mom that day she sent me an email that read “Wassup?  How r U 2day?”  Leave the lingo and the cool talk to the youngins.  But even though that’s annoying, that’s not what bothers me about Steele.  No, what bothers me is he’s a nutcase.  A schizophrenic to be exact.  It’s like he’s trying to figure out whether he wants to be a moderate republican or if he wants to still cater to the extreme nut case side of the republican party.

This is all demonstrated in this interview he did with CNN.   This apparently is “moderate” Steele who sounds rational and reasonable (Until you actually listen to what he’s saying). I half expect him to come out and apologize tomorrow.It’s telling that even Wolf Blitzer laughs at his dumbass at the end of the segment.

Some of my favorites two parts of the interview:

1.  Steele talking about how running for President is something he’d have to think about because the way politics is run in this country is “very  ugly” and doesn’t inspire someone to make that sacrifice.  Well isn’t that the pot calling the kettle black.  I guess Mr. Chairman is only referring to the “liberal media” bashing conservatives and not conservatives like himself looking to fight the President on issues instead of compromise with him.

2.   When Steele claims his dust up with Rush Limbaugh was all part of some strategic plan:

“I’m very introspective about things. I’m a cause-and-effect kind of guy. So if I do something, there’s a reason for it… It may look like a mistake, a gaffe. There is a rationale, there is a logic behind it,” he said. “I want to see what the landscape looks like. I want to see who yells the loudest. I want to know who says they’re with me but really isn’t.”

“It helps me understand my position on the chess board. It helps me understand, where, you know, the enemy camp is and where those who are inside the tent are,” Steele added. “It’s all strategic.”

If you can’t beat’em, can’t join’em, then just claim it was all part of the plan.  This is like Wile E Coyote saying that buying faulty Acme products and getting blown up, smashed and falling off a cliff was all part of his plan in pursuit of the Road Runner.  What kind of fool does Steele take us for? He’s trying to act like he’s the Ghengis Kahn of political strategy, making moves on the political chess board that are 2 – 3 moves ahead of what any of us can see, when in fact he’s more like Napoleon trying to march through Russia in 1812.  How convenient it is to say “Even if everyone else thinks I fucked up…it’s really all part of my plan.”  It’s like a generic Catch-All statement.  I’m going to use that on my next assessment at work.  “Yeah, it might look like I didn’t get any of my work done and I’ve been slacking off…but it was really all just a test to see how much shit I could get away with before you wanted to fire me.”

Let’s try to give the RNC Chairman the benefit of the doubt.  Let’s say that we’ve all been hoodwinked by his brilliance.  If this was all really just a plan to root out those loyal to him in his own party (which by the way, seemed to be very few people) why did he almost immediately call up Limbaugh to apologize?  That move alone invalidates any form of brilliance Steele had.  Its why I think he’s schizophrenic.  He in essence undermined himself and therefore, if he’s trying to find those that say they’re with him but not…he should grab a mirror.  I’ve heard of some people saying that they are their own worse enemies…but this is close to pulling a Tyler Durden and trying to cut your own balls off…on a national stage.

Look, maybe the third time will be a charm.  Go back to your Fortress of Solitude and try again in a couple of weeks.  And to think I actually thought he might be able to bring change to the Republican party.  Looks like Larry Wilmore from the Daily Show was right.  The Republican Party went black…but their probably going to go back.

What do bonuses paid to executives at AIG in a division that helped bring the company to financial ruin have to do with a lawsuit involving a woman who got her face ripped off by a manic chimpanzee?   Easy:  Responsibility.  Its that simple folks.  Everyone wants to focus on and be outraged by the decision by AIG to pay out these million dollar bonuses, but I’m fairly certain this is just a Pavlov’s dog reaction in these financial times.  Someone needs to be the bad guy in this and because the public is too dimwitted to shift through the multiple plotlines and figure out who is bad and who is good (Kinda like the problem most had with the movie Watchmen), AIG will be the whipping boy.  Of course AIG is wrong for giving these people, many whom no longer work for the company, bonuses for doing a job that in essence sank the company and forced us, the taxpayer, to bail them out.  However, let’s not forget that the same republicans and democrats giving us amusing sound bites about how these executives need to pay back their bonuses or commit seppuku, were the same ones that voted to bailout AIG to begin with.  Democrats, Republicans, our current President, his republican rival during the election…all of them have a hand in this.  To be honest, I’m not as outraged by the bonus pay as everyone else is.  Unbelievably, I’m actually in agreement with Rick Santelli about something.  These bonuses are an incredibly small fraction of the money that the government gave to AIG.  Again, I’m not saying these bonuses are right.  I’m just not a fan of the faux outrage by people who allowed this to happen.  You have a company that was on the brink of failure for making bad decisions and you give them $170 billion with no strings attached.  What made these political idiots think they are going to do the right thing with our money?  What needs to happen is that all these politicians need to stop giving soundbites about how angry they are and take the microphone and apologize to the American people for letting us down.  Then, instead of focusing on the bonuses, find a way to get our money back (the billions, not the millions being used in bonuses).  Dylan wrote a good suggestion about what can happen once we get our money back.  Simply, AIG broke the golden rule of business and pissed off/alienated the people who are their customers.  You better believe that if you left it up to the people, AIG would be dealt with swiftly.

But that won’t happen.  Our public officials won’t take responsibility for their roles in this.  You already see it now with the White House blaming the previous administration (Rightfully so in some cases, but come on Mr. President…you were a Senator and voted for this bailout too) and republicans trying to shift blame to an Administration that’s only be in power for 2 months.  It’s a problem with our society.  This is where the story with the monkey comes in.  You all remember that vicious chimp attack in New York a month ago right?  Well now the family of the injured woman is suing the elderly woman who owned the chimp.  While that does sound about right, let’s refresh our memories on how this whole thing went down.  Sandra Herold owned Travis the chimp who one day said “Fuck this, I’m 200  lbs and I’m wearing a gotdamn diaper, I can take this bitch”.  Travis literally goes ape shit and Herold called her friend Charla Nash to say that she needed help with her crazed chimp.  Now lets pause this story right here.  If my friend, hell, if my mother called me and told me that she needed help luring her pet chimpanzee back into his cage, I wouldn’t hop in my car and say “I’ll be right over.”  I’m not qualifed for chimpanzee recovery.  I’d call animal control and let the professionals do their job.  It’s not like Herold didn’t tell Nash that there was a chimp on the loose.  Nash didn’t unknowingly step out of her car and get blindsided by a chimp.  No, she went to the house with a stuffed animal and tried to lure the chimp out like it was some kind of frightened child.  “Travis” said “Fuck that” and gave her the Chris Brown treatment.  Her family might not want to hear this but Charla Nash was an idiot.  Plain and simple.  If I tell you I’m thinking about making homemade dynamite and your response is “I’ll be right over with the matches”, you’re partly responsible when the house ends up going up in smoke and your arms get blown off.  Everyone is so focused on the horrific injuries suffered by Nash that they don’t want to admit that she’s just as responsible for putting herself in the situation as Herold is.  And that’s why this story is related to the AIG story.  People want to be focused on the results of a problem and assign blame that way, instead of assessing the responsibility of those who caused it.  Just like no one wants to admit that the woman in the hospital is there because of her own stupidity, none of these politicians want to admit that they were responsible for giving a fiscally irresponsible company $170 billion.

I can’t take much more of this.

The thing that has always pissed me off about republicans is that they are so transparent with their fecal covered motives that it’s almost insulting.  Since taking office, Obama’s Administration has done a not so subtle job of labeling Rush Limbaugh, a college drop out with zero political or economic experience as the head of the republican party.  Desperate for a way to return the favor, it’s clear to me that republicans are now trying to label Jon Stewart the head of the Democratic party.  I can only gather this now because so far three republicans have come out and voiced their opinion that Jon Stewart only went after Jim Cramer and CNBC because they “dared to speak out against the President’s plan.”  Those three republicans are “Rush Limbaugh, Joe Scarborough and now Tucker Carlson -  The Three Stooges of Punditry.  This blatant attempt is clearly your typical republican nonsense and it’s starting to piss me off that no one in the media has really stepped up to challenge this.  First off, Stewart’s rants about CNBC almost never mentioned Obama.  Never.  Stewart even explained in his interview with Cramer that this was all because Santelli went on this rant about “stupid mortgage owners” and not because he disagreed with the President.  Stewart said he felt that the financial news media was in bed with Wall Street and that they seemed to be more about serving Wall Street instead of the people.  Even Cramer capitulated to that reasoning.  Of course its hard for simple minded idiots like Limbaugh, Scarborough or Carlson to understand that sometimes a person’s objections aren’t based on what party they belong to but simply on what’s right and wrong.  This fact is demonstrated clearly in this video from “Reliable Sources” in which Tucker Carlson tries to label Jon Stewart a “partisan hack” (Ironically, Stewart called Carlson that on his own show back when Carlson was on “Crossfire”):

Watching the video of Carlson makes me shake my head.  First off, having a republican shill like Tucker Carlson on a show called “Reliable Sources” would be like having Soulja Boy on a panel to discuss the fundamentals of Hip Hop.  For those that need a refresher, Carlson is no stranger to being intellectually beaten by Jon Stewart.  In October 2004, Stewart appeared on Crossfire where Carlson was one of the hosts and proceeded to chastised both Carlson and Paul Begala, saying that they were “hurting America.”  In January of 2005, CNN said it was not renewing Carlson’s contract and by June 2005, Crossfire was canceled.  Many point to Stewart’s appearance on Crossfire where he dominated both Begala and Carlson on their own show as the nail in the coffin for both Crossfire and Tucker Carlson’s career.  So hearing Carlson give his opinion on Jon Stewart is a little hilarious and should definitely be taken with huge grains of salt.  Not only was his bias clearly showing, but it seems that he still hasn’t learned from what Stewart was trying to teach him on his own show. I don’t expect Stewart to give a hard hitting interview (although, since that criticism in 2005, I would say that Stewart has stepped his game up).  He’s a comedian on Comedy Central.  When politicians go on MTV, I don’t expect them to debate U.S. Foreign policy.  But when they are on a show with people that consider themselves “reporters”, “analyst” or “pundits” then I expect them to ask the hard hitting questions.  Why?  Because that’s their job.  This argument by some in the media that Jon Stewart is “only a comedian” only makes them look worse.  A comedian is doing a better job of journalism than those actually in the media.  One of the points of comedy from the Crossfire episode with Stewart was when Carlson tries to make a quip about Stewart needing to go to Journalism school and Jon Stewart fires back “So do you.”

The court jester used to be the only one that could speak truth to power and not get their head chopped off.  Sadly, things haven’t changed much.

***EDIT***
Something just hit me. How is Jon Stewart a “partisan hack” for talking about another democrat?

Last week when I wrote my article asking whether Republicans were really stupid, CPR responded jokingly to me on Facebook that I was turning the Insanity Report into the DailyKos.  Now there’s no way in Hell the Insanity Report is anywhere close to the extremely left leaning DailyKos.  I like to think that we focus more in common sense and it just so happens that lately Republicans have lost theirs.  But still, I did think we have been leaning heavily on the Republican bashing and so my plan was to write an article about President Obama’s plan to increase the number of troops in Afghanistan…something that I think is very stupid.  In fact, I’d take an increase in troops in Iraq before Afghanistan.  So that’s what I was going to write about.  And while I still plan on writing about it, I’m sorry but I can’t let the idiocy that happened at the Conservative Political Action Conference (CPAC) go unnoticed.

CPAC is an annual conference held by conservatives so they can come together and discuss conservative issues and values.  You would think that after the November 2008 ass pounding they got they would focus on how to rebrand themselves and diversify their party.  I’m not a highly paid political analyst, I’m just a guy with a webpage.  But even I can see that the reason Senator Barack Obama is now President Barack Obama is that he not only talked about change and hope, but he rebranded the Democratic party and expanded their voting base.  He won North Carolina, Virginia and Indiana.  If I told you a Democrat, never mind a black one, was going to win those in a general election against a white male Republican war hero, you would have had me committed.  But that’s what happened and all because tactics and strategies were changed.  So, if I was a republican that’s what I would be looking to do.  I would be looking to find a way to diversify the party and rebrand conservative ideas so they don’t come off as sounding so idiotic.  Of course, that’s just too much like right for these morons.

I knew CPAC was going to be the same old red meat republican bullshit when I read that Joe the Plumber was going to be on a panel speaking to young conservatives.  Why republicans would do something so stupid is beyond me.  This is like giving birth to a perfectly healthy baby and then infecting it with AIDS.  Yes, Joe the Plumber is that cancerous to me.  Between him and the Hockey mom/Pitbull with lipstick from Alaska, I don’t know who was the more ridiculous attempt to make a man married to a woman who shows up to the RNC wearing $300,000 with of clothing and accessories seem “in touch with the middle class.”

So it was already bad.  But then it got worse…much worse.  The highlight of Friday’s program was Jonathan Krohn, author of “Define Conservatism.”  Nothing out of ordinary about that…except Jonathan is 13.  Yes, you read that right.  13.  Conservatives are now listening to a 13 year old.  I think I’m going to quit my job and become a Republican Strategist.  It’s gotta be the easiest job in the world because no matter how ridiculous the idea, republicans will back it and refuse to admit it was stupid.  So I listened to Jonathan’s speech and while yes, I am a little bias, I still couldn’t see what all the hype was about.  Sure, he’s extremely articulate for his age and the way he used his hands when he talked makes him very animated and engaging.  But when you actually listened to his 2 minute speech, you heard the same thing you hear in most red meat conservative speeches.  For those that have never heard a Republican speech in it’s entirety, let me run it down for you:

Conservatives…blah blah blah Principles over ideology blah blah blah Conservative blah blah blah Fiscal responsibility, personal responsibilities and moral values blah blah blah Liberals are socialists blah blah blah Tax cuts blah blah blah Conservative conservatives blah blah blah Did we mention tax cuts? Blah blah blah Principles blah blah blah We are the defenders of the Constitution (There’s never any applause or laughter for this joke)

There you have it.  That right there sums up Jonathan’s speech and just about every other republican speech I’ve ever heard.  The only thing that was surprisingly missing was the obligatory Rush Limbaugh ass kissing.  Which brings me to the last thing about CPAC – Rush Limbaugh.

Now to be fair to Republicans, Rush Limbaugh does make some valid points when it comes to conservative values.  That said, the problem with Rush is that he acts as if the entire country believes in the same conservative values as him.  For instance, if I believe in fiscal responsibility (which I do) then according to Rush not only must I believe that the conservative path to fiscal responsibility is right but I also must believe in all other conservative view points (immigration, gay rights, etc.)  There is no compromise with Rush Limbaugh and that’s the biggest problem with him and why he’s such a huge douche bag.  It also doesn’t help that when appearing before CPAC this weekend he once against said flatly that he hopes President Obama fails.  While that might fire up and motivate the base, I can’t help but think of how stupid it is to flatly say that you hope the guy with the 68% approval rating and who lead the onslaught against your party getting ass pounding, fails.

The real problem here is that the highlights of CPAC seem to be 3 people, none of whom have ever held a political office (Hell, one of them isn’t even old enough to vote yet).  This is what leaves me confused as to why republicans seem to fall over themselves to apologize if they ever speak ill of Rush Limbaugh.  Sure, the guy has a loud mouth and a big following in the conservative base.  But since he’s never been in office, he has the luxury of spouting off conservative theories without addressing the fact that in many cases, there are consequences of what he says should happen that affect the other half of the country. It’s easy to spout off “Tax Cuts” and “Free Market” and “Fiscal Responsibility” when you don’t actually have to balance the budget with the needs and will of the people.   And remember, this same fat fuck talking about fiscal responsibility was right there with some other idiots talking about let’s go into Iran.  How does he propose to pay for that War?  Monopoly money?

So again, the question I ask is “Who is going to lead the Republican Party into the future?”  Some say it’s new RNC Chairman Michael Steele, but even Steele has yielded to Rush Limbaugh in terms of running back to Rush with his tail between his legs to say “I’m Sorry, I didn’t mean to speak ill of you.”  Mitt Romney won the CPAC Presidential poll for the 3^rd straight year and while Romney doesn’t thrill me, he does seem to be somewhat reasonable.  The question is, will republicans follow him or will they continue to listen to idiots like Rush.

I really picked a great time to stop drinking.  See, if I hadn’t given up alcohol for Lent, then when I came across this story about this self-proclaimed Republican rapper at the Conservative Politcal Action Conference (CPAC), I would have immediately gone to my refrigerator and gotten a beer…because alcohol is the only way I could make it through this entire video.  I actually Twittered last night that I was way too sober to be watching that video.  First off, dude’s inspiration comes from Michael Savage and listening to him on the radio (mind you…Savage is a radio host…not a rapper).  This is like me watching a Michael Moore movie and wanting to be an actor.  So he starts “kicking some verses” and all I can think is “There’s not enough liquor in the world.”  This guy’s lyrical ability makes K-Fed seem like a top tier conscious hip hop God.  It’s like he went to K-Mart and picked up on of those “Political Rhyming Ad-libs” or “How to be a Rapper for Dummies” books and a cheap microphone.

Hi-Caliber looks like someone that I should call if I need a locksmith, I have a plumbing problem or I go to a NY pizzeria and I want a slice of pepperoni.  The only thing that makes this funnier is the video where the reporter is nodding his head like dude is spitting some truly deep or revolutionary stuff.  White people…leave the rapping to black folk and Eminem (nope, I’m not sold on the whole Asher Roth thing right now either).  And dude really needs to change his name.  “Hi-Caliber” my ass.  More like BB or 22.