BEIJING (AFP) – More than 24 million Chinese men of marrying age could find themselves without spouses in 2020, state media reported on Monday, citing a study that blamed sex-specific abortions as a major factor.

The study, by the government-backed Chinese Academy of Social Sciences, named the gender imbalance among newborns as the most serious demographic problem for the country’s population of 1.3 billion, the Global Times said.

“Sex-specific abortions remained extremely commonplace, especially in rural areas,” where the cultural preference for boys over girls is strongest, the study said, while noting the reasons for the gender imbalance were “complex.”

Researcher Wang Guangzhou said the skewed birth ratio could lead to difficulties for men with lower incomes in finding spouses, as well as a widening age gap between partners, according to the Global Times.

Another researcher quoted by the newspaper, Wang Yuesheng, said men in poorer parts of China would be forced to accept marriages late in life or remain single for life, which could “cause a break in family lines.”(Source)

Look at it this way ladies…you could be a man living in China.

At a wedding recently, I was engaged in a conversation with another guest who said that she ‘would never marry someone who grew up in a single home’ because she would run the risk of marrying someone who does not place the same value on marriage as she does.

At first, I was completely taken aback(sp?) by the statement but after another hour of discussion (between a  few dances, drinks etc) I could at least meet her halfway.

After all we are a product of our surroundings right? I wouldn’t say that I agree with her completely but I do believe that a couple has to have some serious conversations about the value they place on family and marriage. Just because someone came from a broken home might in fact mean that lacking both parents would have provided a motivation to not repeat the same and in contrast, someone who grew up in a two parent home filled with unhappiness and turmoil might see marriage as a waste of time.

This leads me to several questions (half rhetorical/half genuine):

1.       How much of a role do the marriages in our immediate surroundings play in how we approach our relationships as young adults?

2.       Have our parents failed us by giving up too easily on their marriage and not realizing its impact in our approach to relationships (if any)?

3.       As young adults, are we unaware of the difficulties in maintain a marriage and unable to reflect on what we are exposed to? Does this contribute to a lot of our apprehensiveness in committing to long term relationships or dropping the ‘M’ word today?

4.       Is the younger generation being more strategic by getting married later and pursuing self interests first before making hefty commitments? Or is this just an excuse to stay clear of the risks of failing in a marriage?

5.       Are our parents failing us by constantly reminding us of our ticking clocks therefore forcing some of us into marrying too early despite the fact that we live in a much different society than they grew up in?

6.       I could go on for days with these questions: but more importantly does it matter what our parents think or do in regards to managing their own relationships as it relates to young adults eventually accepting the risks of marriage and making a commitment?

Disclaimer: My parents have been married for over 20 years but they have had their share of issues. I mean issues to the point where at one point, I suggested that they get a divorce and get it over with. But their resolve to continue to redefine why they are staying together and make it work is even more impressive. Which brings up another point: the cultural aspect. My parents as a result of culture did not just marry each other, both families married each other. So if ever divorce is imminent, its not just their decision. It’s a family decision!

Truthfully, I have learned a lot from them on how to move forward with my life when it comes to relationships, I have more questions that I am trying to figure out but I am glad to have them as a good example to base some decisions off.

Extra! Extra! Extra!

Here are some statistics on marriage trends in the past 10 years; needless to say they have gotten ‘worse’ since the early century. (Take these for what they are worth, I did not do thorough research to validate these numbers and did my best to represent the statistics well)

As of 2002 in the United States per divorcemag.com:

% of population that is married: 59% (down from 62% in 1990 and 72% in 1970)

Median age of first marriage (Males: 26.9 and Females: 25.3) in comparison with the Median age of first divorce (Male: 30.5 and Females: 29)

Median duration of first marriages that end in divorce (Males 7.3 years and Females: 6.8 years)

% of married people who reach their 5^th anniversary (82%), 10^th anniversary (65%), 15^th anniversary (52%), 25^th anniversary (33%) and 35^th anniversary (20%).  Anything beyond this would start taking death into account so we will leave that alone.

As of 2004 per the U.S. Census Bureau

For black people: Duration of first marriage for those whose first marriage ended in divorce (Male: 9 years, Females: 8.3 years)

Some other research show that: 50% of first marriages end in divorce with over half of those divorces occurring between ages 20 and 30 years old. As of 2003, 43.7% of custodial mothers and 56.2% of custodial fathers were either separated or

divorced. And in 2002, 7.8 million Americans paid about $40 billion in child and/or spousal support (84% of the payers were male).

Seemingly the older you get, the less likely you are to divorce for the first time. I am sure if we dig into more recent data, the numbers would look slightly different. I will hypothesize that more divorces occur now between ages 30 and 45.

Now back to the question: have our parents failed us or at least contributed to our current somber state as we deal with relationships?

I woke up this morning to a comment by a colleague which really fucked my mind. This comment led to a discussion about women having to take on their husband’s surname when they eventually get married.

The confusion for me was….why is this up for discussion? I figured, I couldn’t be the only sane person out there who just thought that it was common sense for common folk like us to EXPECT that the woman take on the husband’s surname. Apparently, this is not the norm.

Before even considering marriage, there are plenty of questions that both partners need addressed before making such a lifetime commitment such as:

-         which religious affiliation(s) do we raise our kids under?

-         do we want to raise our kids in the city or suburbs?

-         how many children do we want to have?

-         where will our careers take us etc.?

These questions are negotiations…that need much thought/discussion.

Never did I ever think that ‘taking on the husband’s surname’ would have to be added to this list.

There are only a few situations where I could even see myself conceding to such a ridiculous idea, try this:

-         the wife to be has already built a ‘brand’ using her maiden name (entertainers, research scientists etc and they need to continuity in how their body of work is credited (even in this situation, I would suggest she take my last name legally but use her maiden name for her profession)

Ok, I sad a few situations…but I can only come up with one so far! I will leave room in my mind to possibly concede to 1 or 2 more (gotta be really convincing though).

Then there are the  sneaky ways of doing it such as;

-         changing your middle name to your maiden name (my mama gave me my middle name for a reason, she would SLAP me if I tried that). Add another name to the list and have 4 then. Fuck it…change your middle name…its YOURS!

-         Putting a hypen between the maiden and husband’s surname. (Get off the damn fence and make up your mind).

Sorry these excuses don’t count:

-         My last name sounds better

-         I like the way my name flows now

-         I make more money so he should take my last name

-         Everybody else is doing it

-         Whats the big deal?

-         I am an independent woman (go impregnate yourself then)

This new age woman sh!t is really starting to be on OD status…whats next…the kids have to take your maiden name too?

That is my gripe for today…carry on.

NAIROBI, Kenya – A Kenyan man’s offer of 40 goats and 20 cows for Chelsea Clinton’s hand in marriage may still be on the table – and Hillary Rodham Clinton has promised to convey the “very kind offer” to her daughter.

To laughter at a town hall meeting Thursday in Kenya, CNN’s Fareed Zakaria asked the U.S. Secretary of State if the Clintons had made a decision on the dowry offer. In 2000, a Kenyan man wrote to then-president Bill Clinton offering the animals in accordance with African tradition.

After a pause, Clinton said, “My daughter is her own person, very independent, so I will convey this very kind offer.”

Clinton has denied rumors that her daughter, 29, is planning to get married this summer. (Source)

This might be one of the funniest things I’ve ever read.  A Secretary of State being offered a dowry for the hand of her daughter.  The only funnier than would be if Bill was interviewed and asked “Well…what do these goats look like?”  Kudos to Secretary Clinton for maintaining her composure because if it had been me I might have responded with “Motherfucka are you crazy?”

Once again, this show hits a new low.  It’s Kriss, Dylan and special guest “Monica” and the show is bananas.  First up, Kriss and Dylan celebrate the end of Lent by being able to drink.  Dylan claims he gave up sex for Lent one year but Kriss and Monica aren’t buying it.  Kriss explains why he has a problem with people overly religious on Easter. In the course of the discussion, Dylan sorta convinces Kriss to become Catholic.  Next up is a discussion about what consitutes a whore and relationships over all.  Kriss and Dylan decide to write a book.  If Steve Harvey can write a book about relationships, after failing 2 times, then they can.

There’s a problem with getting the show on iTunes for new subscribers. If you already get the show on iTunes you’re fine but if you’re looking to find us in the iTunes store it’ll probably be a couple of weeks until we’re back up and running. You can manually add us to iTunes by going to Advanced->Subscribe to Podcast and then add this url. We’re looking for writers for TheInsanityReport.com and guests for the Insanity Check Podcast. If you are interested, email us at InsanityCheck@theInsanityReport.com. Also hit us up if you’re good with graphic designs or music production (we’re looking for a new opening for the podcast). Join the Facebook Group for weekly updates on Facebook or follow us on Twitter.

One of my friends on Facebook put up a status message telling men to make sure they get a prenuptial agreement.  Like a fat kid on a candy store shopping spree, the women were all over him.   It seems to be almost offensive to women to say a man should get a prenup.  The word itself sends women into a frenzy.  As a man, this phenomenon is extremely perplexing.

I view a prenuptial agreement as marital insurance.  You get car insurance to protect your car (and yourself) in case of an accident.  You get homeowner’s insurance to protect your house.  Life insurance can protect your family from a mountain of costs in case of an untimely death.  A prenup protects you in case something goes wrong with your marriage.  Now some women (and men) believe that by asking for a prenup you are starting off your marriage with the expectation that it will fail.  They believe that marriage is built on love and therefore shouldn’t require a safety net or entertaining the thought it might not work out.  I give kudos to those with that line of thought because they are far bigger gamblers than I could ever be.  Let’s think about it.  In a perfect world we wouldn’t have to wear condoms because everyone would only sleep with one person, their wife/husband who they are ready to have a family with.  But the fact is, we all know to wear condoms because that’s not the case.  People sleep around and get diseases and people get pregnant when they arent’ ready.  It’s not that you don’t trust the person you are sleeping with or you expect to get a disease from them…you just want some protection in case there’s a problem.

Through my own personal observations, I’m a little skeptical that I could go into something that’s supposedly lasts forever without a backup plan.  Things can go wrong.  No matter how in love you are at the beginning, sometimes it falls apart.  My parents were together for 25+ years before they got a divorce.  TWENTY-FIVE YEARS.  I’ll honestly admit that my parents getting divorced after so many years has shaped my view on love and marriage.  I no longer see marriage as some infallible institution.  Mistakes happen, people lie and sometimes it just doesn’t work out.  I chuckle every time I hear about someone getting engaged or married before 30.  I don’t know why there seems to be such a rush to jump into a commitment that last for the rest of your life.  I can’t be the only one that thinks “How do I know I’m not going to be ready to kill this fucker after 20 years?”  I met a woman this weekend who is getting married after knowing a guy for 9 months.  NINE MONTHS.  9 months of vetting for a lifetime commitment.  Hell, the Presidential campaign lasted 22 months and we’re only letting President Obama have 4 years before we force him to do it all over again.  You have to excuse me if I’m a little cautious and want an insurance policy in case things don’t work out.  Getting married without a prenup is like getting a life sentence without the possibility of parole.  You’re in it for the rest of your life and there’s no good way out of it.

The divorce rate is currently sitting around 50%.  FIFTY PERCENT.  And that’s just the people that decide to get out of the marriage.  That doesn’t take into account the couples that don’t talk to each other, don’t sleep in the same bad, can’t stand each other or those that cheat on their spouses.  You add those in there and I’m certain the marriage failure rate is up at 75%.  So a prenup is just to protect those who don’t fall into that 25 – 50% that go on to live happily ever after (or those that pretend to be).  A prenup should simply state that both parties leave with what they came in with and split what they built together 50 – 50.  This ridiculous belief by some women that they deserve more than 50% is laughable.  Unless you were a real housewife, meaning you cooked homemade meals, cleaned, stayed at home and took care of the kids…you don’t deserve extra.  Let’s be real, in this day and age women hand the kids off to the babysitter or stick them in front of the TV and Xbox, hire someone else to clean and most couldn’t boil water let alone cook something that required them to do more than pop a TV dinner into the microwave.  So no, you don’t get extra for that.  This “I’m the one that takes care of the kids, cooks and cleans” argument is a myth because in this day and age both husband and wife either split those duties or outsource them to someone else.  Let me state it again, IF a woman is doing all those things then she deserves more…but lets be open and honest and admit that its not the case 9 times out of 10.  If there are kids involved, then obviously whoever is bearing the brunt of the parental duties should get more compensation, however, a real man (or woman) won’t need the court to tell them how much they should pay out for their kids.  This notion that you deserve more than half because you pumped out 3 kids is ridiculous.  Unless you were an idiot and married a good for nothing man, then both of you took turns changing diapers, staying up late, etc.  If not, then you were too stupid to properly vet the man who you let seed you up and therefore you aren’t entitled to more money because of your own stupidity  Next time think twice before letting squeeze off in you (Same goes for the men.  Think about who you are impregnanting before you do it). Consider it an “Idiot Tax”.

Now there are those that say that if people spent more time understanding “Who, WHY and When” before they get married then we wouldn’t have a divorce rate so high and getting a prenup wouldn’t be necessary.  I agree.  People that get married and divorced at the drop of a hat are just bad as those women who use abortion as a form of birth control.  Unfortunately we don’t live in that world.  We live in a world where women are told they have to get married before 30 and men are told they are “afraid of commitment” if they don’t rush to buy a ring for their girl after 6 months.  Its not that we are afraid of commitment, we’re just cautious and aware that in all honesty only diamonds are guaranteed forever. A lot of people give into outside pressure and get married when they aren’t truly ready for it. Then 10 years later they are sitting in divorce court.

Oh, and by the way, prenups just aren’t for guys.  If a woman is coming in with better credit, more money and more assets then she too, should get a prenup.  Marital insurance people.  It’s not planning for an inevitable failure, it’s having a plan in case of failure.  You don’t buy car insurance expecting to get in an accident, but if you do have the unfortunate happen, you’re glad that you have it.

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Ryce is recovering from the bird flu. She survived taking NyQuil and nighttime Theraflu. Kriss shares his story about taking a double shot of NyQuil. Kriss’s mom got in an accident, she’s okay but Kriss explains a couple of funny stories that show that, while he loves her, she’s kind of a weirdo. Speaking of weirdos, Rudy Giuliani and Michele Bachmann prove that they are bat shit crazy. The show ends with a discussion of prenups and why everyone should have one.

There’s a problem with getting the show on iTunes for new subscribers. If you already get the show on iTunes you’re fine but if you’re looking to find us in the iTunes store it’ll probably be a couple of weeks until we’re back up and running. You can manually add us to iTunes by going to Advanced->Subscribe to Podcast and then add this url. We’re looking for writers for TheInsanityReport.com and guests for the Insanity Check Podcast. If you are interested, email us at InsanityCheck@theInsanityReport.com. Also hit us up if you’re good with graphic designs or music production (we’re looking for a new opening for the podcast). Join the Facebook Group for weekly updates on Facebook or follow us on Twitter.

When my frat brothers and I get together, hilarity ensues.  We always joke that we need our own reality show because the conversations that come up, particularly when alcohol is involved, are disturbing, perverted and down right hysterical all at once.  Take for instance our new barometer to determine if a man is gay or not.  We simply started asking men what they would do if they only had two choices to pick from:  Fuck a man…or fuck a goat.    Obviously there’s no good answer out of those two choices.  On one hand, it sounds extremely homosexual to say that you would fuck a man in any situation.  Just like there’s never a bad time for ice cream, apple pie or hot chocolate, there’s never a good time to say you’ll fuck a man…unless you’re really into that type of thing (I don’t judge).  On the other hand, fucking a goat is so far over the line of disturbing behavior there’s really no way of coming back from that.  Think about it.  While I’m pretty sure there are some straight goat fuckers out there, if they were sitting around horny one day and the only ads in the paper are for gay prostitutes…its not going to take them much to convince themselves to call the number.  They’ve already become a goat fucker, no one’s really going to trip over them fucking a man after that.  “I’ve fucked men and goats before”  “WTF!?!? You’ve fucked a goat?”  The goat card trumps the gay card any day.

Anyway, I’ve digressed.  The correct answer to the question is either 1.  “I’d kill myself” or 2.  “WTF? What the hell would you do? or 3.  “I’m not choosing either one of those”  It’s the only way to be sure.  Because picking either one of the other choices means you’ll either end up fucking a man or that its definitely a possibility.

So that’s the type of conversations we’ll have.  Quite frankly, I love it because the discussions always end up taking some absurd topic and putting a deep philosophical twist to it.  Another topic that came up was about cheating.  One of my brothers said that he doesn’t believe that having sex with a stripper is cheating.  Now of course the initial reaction to that is “WTH, of course it’s cheating.”  But he made a very convincing case.  Basically he equated having sex with a stripper to masturbating to a porno.  In both cases, there’s no emotional connection or long term commitment.  Both cases involve the exchange of money for sexual favors (although a lot of people do get their porn for free nowadays).  The only real difference between the two is the actually physical contact.  Think about it.  If you were married and paid to have a stripper come by and have sex with you for $100, you would be called a cheater.  But if you had the same stripper come by and just jerked off, you wouldn’t be.  Isn’t that crazy?  Think about it.  Women have all kinds of crazy tools and toys to use that they can use to get off when they don’t want to deal with their husbands or boyfriends.  Men just have their good ole handy…hand.  If strippers are just sex objects and not clingy mistresses, then shouldn’t having sex with one be treated the same as masturbation? If it is cheating shouldn’t jerking off to a porno also be cheating? In that situation you are getting off to the image of a woman other than the one you are in a committed relationship with.

So the question is…Do you think sex with a stripper counts as cheating?

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I have to be honest, I’ve been suffering from an election night hangover since the 4th. Finally hearing the race called for Barack Obama last Tuesday capped 2 years of the most grueling election campaign in recent memories. Now while I wasn’t on the campaign staff, I have to be honest…the election wore me out. So I took a little break after the 4th from writing. You probably notice the new site design, well I worked on that this weekend. Anyway, with the election over…I can now turn my attention to things outside of presidential politics and get back to the social commentary thing as a whole. What better way than to start with the latest hot debate…Gay Marriage.

If aliens from a distant planet came to Earth searching for intelligent life, I’m convinced that if they stumbled upon the gay marriage debate in this country, they would enslave us all as lower life forms for our incapacity to think rationally. Let me start off by saying that those in California that voted for Proposition 8 (the amendment to the state constitution to ban gay marriage) were wrong. Not only were they wrong but I firmly believe they are idiots. We’ve seen people argue this gay marriage issue for several years now (brought to the forefront in 2004) and every time I see it argued I become completely baffled because I don’t understand why it’s an issue that requires government intervention. What the imbeciles that voted for Proposition 8 have done is set a precedence that puts us all in danger. Let’s look at what these morons did.

Proponents of Proposition 8 say that we must not allow gays to get married because marriage is between a man and a woman, being gay is sinful and we must also think about the message it sends to our kids. But Proposition 8 only bans gay marriage. It doesn’t ban being a homosexual. So what really has been accomplished? Gay people aren’t going to all the sudden say “Son of a bitch…we can’t get married. Guess we gotta go straight now.” So what these morons managed to do was have their State Constitution re-written to limit marriage to only between a man and a woman because of their own bias and prejudice. Gays can still love each other, be intimate with each other, live with each other and do everything else that a heterosexual married couple can do…they just can’t call themselves married. How retarded is that? $38 million was spent on the campaigns for and against proposition 8. $38 million. Are you starting to see the problem with this?

To my Jesus freaks out there. Let me talk to you for a minute. Look, I love Jesus too. But what you have to realize is that the United States of America was built based on religious freedom. That means laws in this country have to be written with everyone in mind…not just Christians. I cringe every time I hear a religious person say “Well the Bible says…” when talking about legislation and constitutional amendments. The standard for writing laws in this nation should be “What is in the best interest of everyone in this country” not “What is in the best interest of Christians”. Changing the California State Constitution was not done to protect the citizens of that state. It was done to limit the rights of a subsection of the state. The arguments against gay marriage would make more sense if Proposition 8 was a constitutional amendment to banning homosexuality. That’s really what the proponents of gay marriage bans want to do, but they are too cowardly to come out and “say it loud, I’m a bigot and I’m proud”. So instead they hide behind the “think of the children” claims. This notion that we must protect our precious youth from the “gay agenda” would be laughable if I haven’t actually heard people say it. Look, being gay isn’t a “gateway drug” to perverted, deviant behavior. If we’re going to start making laws because we don’t want to “corrupt” our youth, well then kiss goodbye to the following: pornography, rap music, rock & roll, country music, jazz (hell, just go ahead and say all music), R-rated movies, PG-13 movies, PG movies,video games, fantasy books, fiction books, cable news, alcohol, clubs, adultery, pre-marital sex and I could go on. This is the precedence California has set by rewriting their constitution based on religious beliefs. What’s next? Prosecuting women for not being virgins on their wedding night? You might think I’m blowing things out of proportion…but there are countries that already stone women for not being virgins. No, I don’t think we’ll go that far…but it does seem ridiculous that we have legislative arguments as to whether gays can get married or whether a crime committed against someone because they are gay should qualify as a hate crime (I can’t believe anyone actually argues that it shouldn’t be). If it’s a religious argument against gay marriage, then the individual denominations should determine whether they bless the marriage or not. That is NOT the job of the government. Why would you want the government having a role in your own personal choices and decisions?

Now you’ll notice I haven’t mentioned anything about whether I think being gay is natural or a choice. I haven’t even given my opinion on what I think of the gay lifestyle. I haven’t because that’s not the point. You don’t have to like gay people or the “gay movement” to understand that having the government tell people who they can love and how they can express that love is wrong. I’ve heard people say “I think marriage is between a man and a woman.” Great…then don’t marry anyone of the same sex. End of story. Being gay isn’t contagious. You can’t get “gay” by being in the vicinity of a gay married couple.

I’ll leave you with this thought. A man beats his first wife and gets thrown in jail for a year. His wife divorces him and takes the kids. He gets out and finds a new woman and gets married and they have kids. He beats his second wife and verbally abuses his kids. He gets divorced again. He then meets a new woman and…wash, rinse and repeat. He does this for 20 years. Replace the wife beater with an adultery who cheats on every woman he marries or a deadbeat dad who hasn’t seen any of the children he’s fathered in 20 years. All of them are allowed to get married over and over again. Yet the gay couple that’s been happily living together for 20 years can’t get married. Can you honestly say that makes any sense? You want to talk about messages being sent to kids. “Timmy, you can beat your wife, cheat on your wife and not see your kids and society will still accept you…but if you are gay….fuck you.”