WASHINGTON — Militants in Iraq have used $26 off-the-shelf software to intercept live video feeds from U.S. Predator drones, potentially providing them with information they need to evade or monitor U.S. military operations.

Senior defense and intelligence officials said Iranian-backed insurgents intercepted the video feeds by taking advantage of an unprotected communications link in some of the remotely flown planes’ systems. Shiite fighters in Iraq used software programs such as SkyGrabber — available for as little as $25.95 on the Internet — to regularly capture drone video feeds, according to a person familiar with reports on the matter.

U.S. officials say there is no evidence that militants were able to take control of the drones or otherwise interfere with their flights. Still, the intercepts could give America’s enemies battlefield advantages by removing the element of surprise from certain missions and making it easier for insurgents to determine which roads and buildings are under U.S. surveillance. (Source)

To sum up this article:  Insurgents are using Pringles cans and cheap software to bypass our million dollar equipment.  Ladies and gentlemen, this is a prime example of the fuckery that goes into politics.  This is not shocking to anyone with any knowledge of how our government procures and maintains its equipment.  Equipment is bought and sold from the lowest bidder, not what actually works the best.  Then functionality is stripped out to cut even more costs to make it more attractive for Congress to sign off on.  And when it comes to upgrades?  That can take years…or in this case…decades.  The fuckery of this process is common knowledge. The article says that military officials have known about this issue since 1998.  The claim is that they just didn’t think the lowly insurgents in Iraq and Afghanistan would be knowledgeable enough to exploit it.  That’s bullshit for several reasons.  First off, even your most computer illiterate person these days knows that an unsecured wireless link is a huge security risk.  There’s a reason why just about everyone uses a WEP key (or better) to protect their wireless home networks.  You want me to believe that no one, NO ONE, thought it wise to secure an unencrypted link on a military network?  Then, to say that you thought the insurgents wouldn’t be technologically advanced enough to figure it out when we spent the last 8 years listening about how the terrorists are using cyberspace is just bullshit.  The article hints at the real problem:

Officials stepped up efforts to prevent insurgents from intercepting video feeds after the July incident. The difficulty, officials said, is that adding encryption to a network that is more than a decade old involves more than placing a new piece of equipment on individual drones. Instead, many components of the network linking the drones to their operators in the U.S., Afghanistan or Pakistan have to be upgraded to handle the changes. Additional concerns remain about the vulnerability of the communications signals to electronic jamming, though there’s no evidence that has occurred, said people familiar with reports on the matter.

For those that don’t understand what that means, let me explain.  You know those defense appropriation bills that Liberals love to rail against and say are unnecessary?  Yup…this goes to that.  That “pork” that old ass John “I barely know what a computer is” McCain likes to say needs to be taken out?  Yup, this is “pork”.  See, you have a bunch of old folks in Congress that don’t understand this shit.  So when you tell them you need $10 million to upgrade the decades old network equipment and software, they put it off.  Instead money goes to funding F-22 we don’t need because the parts for the plane are built in different states and the senators for that state don’t want to support losing those jobs.  And so money is diverted from what we do need to something we don’t and we end up with security breaches like this.  Now that its in the Wall Street Journal, expect to see money for this attached to some bill in the near future but only because it makes people look bad.

This sadly, is how shit works in our government.  This is why I chuckle at progressives being upset at the Health Care Reform bill.  The problem is the system.  To be honest an “easy” fix is to putting a limit on the number of consecutive terms people in Congress can have.  But that would then require a vote in the Congress…….and Congressmen/women aren’t going to vote on limiting their own power.  So the cycle continues.  Welcome to politics people.

Stories like this really burn me up.  All these members of Congress, republicans AND democrats, talk about how much they care for our troops and blah blah blah, but then they’re all quiet on something like this.  It was bad enough when we found out the atrocities at Walter Reed but this is just taking it a step further.  The story says that the Pentagon knows that a 1/3…A THIRD…of our troops have traumatic brain injuries but they are still sent back out into the theaters of war.  That is just unacceptable.  Our soldiers aren’t just tools of war, they are people.  At some point, someone with common sense needs to be put in charge.  You don’t send a solider, who’s been in multiple bomb attacks back to Iraq/Afghanistan, especially when you know those attacks have deteriorated his brain.  Even more disturbing is how long it took them to get him a case worker and a therapist when he was finally sent home.  Just ridiculous.

Happy 4th of July. Kriss and Ryce are in the studio. They talk about some topics that haven’t made the news because of the story of MJ’s death. Things like the Vice President being in Iraq, Saddam’s unclassified interviews released, an Afghanistan offensive, etc. Then the topics move on to the Jackson family and just how bat shit insane they are. Seriously Jermaine, shoe polish?

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While the President was giving his farewell speech, I was catching up on Monday’s episode of 24.  Sorry but I believe the real reason why there hasn’t been another attack on American soil is because Al Qaeda really thinks Kiefer Sutherland IS Jack Bauer.  Anyway, I’ve seen clips and portions of the President’s last speech and as with any George W. Bush speech, nothing really to write home about.  There I something I want to address now because I feel that it will be given a lot of discussion over the next several years. I hinted at it before in the WTF Wednesday post this week but I believe it needs to be stated again.

George W. Bush, Dick Cheney, the Bush Administration and all of its allies have been saying that Bush has kept us safe these last 8 years and that Iraq is slowly turning into a Foreign Policy success story. Well, since these fools treat history as some kind of suggestion and not facts and reality, I want to take us back to Bush’s 2002 State of the Union address.  Remember that?  It was the one about the “Axis of Evil.”  Seems that Bush has forgotten his own speech.  See, there were THREE nations in the Axis of Evil according to Bush.  Iraq, Iran and North Korea.  Let’s play nice and give Bush a gift and say that Iraq turns into a beacon of democracy in the Middle East.  What about the other two countries?  Well, North Korea claims to have successfully tested a nuclear weapon in 2006.  Not only did it catch the Administration off guard but we had to be told by the Chinese.  North Korea then played a game of Nuclear Chicken with us and we blinked, lifting sanctions with the “promise” that they would destroy their Nuclear reactors.  The destroyed one and then started back up again.  Iran also might have nuclear weapons (One thing of note should be how horrible our intel is for both these countries because we really have no clue).  Nuclear weapons aside, with the invasion of Iraq, Iran has become the defiant voice in the Middle East, sending weapons and fighters to not only Iraq but also Gaza, Syria, and other terrorist hot spots.  It can be argued that since 2002, both Iran and North Korea have INCREASED their power and influence in the world.

So, if we give Bush Iraq, that means he’s been successful in containing 1/3 of the Axis of Evil over the last 6 years.  He has a 33.33333% success rate.  If he was a lawyer with a 33% success rate, he’d be lucky to be working at Kinkos right now.  A doctor with a 33% success rate would probably be in jail for malpractice.  And this is all if you concede Iraq to Bush.  And that’s still very unlikely.  The history of Iraq, Iran and the rest of the Middle East is that you might get a few years of peace, make some questionable alliances and then get bitten 10 years from now when it all plunges back into dictatorships and terrorism (Remember Saddam and Bin Laden used to be our buddies).  But hey…I understand.  Saying you were 33% successful is better than saying 0%. And course this is just with Foreign Policy, specifically with the Axis of Evil.  Let’s not talk about him walking out the front door of the White House leaving behind one of the worse financial crisis this country has ever seen.  It’s okay G Dub.  The Emperor has no clothes and your closest friends and supporters won’t tell you otherwise.

Once again it is time for the Third Annual Insanity Report End of the Year WTF’s.  This is a time that we can all sit back and reflect on all the craziness of this past year and what a crazy year it has been.  OJ’s back in jail, Brett Favre is a Jet, Bill and Hillary Clinton were back making headlines and a black man was elected President…man…it’s almost like a Bizzaro world where we’re living in the 90’s again (minus the Black man as President).

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Movie Quote of the Year
“If you aren’t thinking about pussy, you aren’t concentrating”  Russell Crowe as Ed Hoffman – Body of Lies
I swear when I heard Crowe utter those words to DiCaprio’s Roger Ferris I damn near choked to death on my $5 popcorn.  I remember vividly because I was being extra cheap that night and I didn’t want to pay an extra $5 for a drink.  It’s even funnier when later on in the movie Ferris asks Hoffman “Still thinking about pussy?”  I can’t remember what Hoffman’s response was but I know I damn sure was.

“I Told You So” of the Year
Brett Favre
Go back and listen to IC 14:  Brett Favre Sucks.  I called it at the beginning of the year.  Brett Favre is a mediocre quarterback.  He has 1 touchdown and 6 interceptions in his last four games.  He had 21 TDs and 19 Interceptions for the year.  That is mediocre.  Sure, he’s good for a breakout game (which he had with that 6 TD game) but then he’s also good for even more bonehead games.  Sure, the Packers aren’t going to the playoffs and the Jets might (I’m writing this Sunday before game time), however, it’s the Packer’s defense that kept them out of the playoffs.  Plus, the real comparison shouldn’t be between Favre and Rodgers, who is starting for the first time as an NFL quarterback (And still having a better season than Brett).   No, the real comparison should be between Brett and Chad Pennington who has taken the 1 – 15 Dolphins from a year ago to a playoff bound 10 – 5 team.  Quietly, Chad’s been outplaying Brett.  But don’t expect the media to take Brett’s cock out their mouths anytime soon.

Ether Statement of the Year
“And I think that it is going to be part of the president’s job to deal with more than one thing at once”
To be perfectly honest, I think President Elect Barack Obama has earned a Nasir Jones Ether layer award.  Throughout the entire campaign, he would have these subtle jabs and one liners that would make you say “Gotdamn” and pause and rewind the video like you did when you heard Ether for the first time.  Earlier in the campaign he hit Hillary Clinton with the Annie Oakley line, brushed the dirt off his shoulders and while he was most definitely not talking about Palin, that “You can put lipstick on a pig” line was hilarious ether directed at John McCain.  However, when the financial crisis hit and John McCain, struggling to stay afloat like a fat kid in the deep end, decided he would suspend his campaign, claim he wasn’t going to the debate and fly back to Washington (after fatefully skipping out on Letterman)…Obama called his bluff.  During a press conference shortly after McCain’s announcement Obama said the following (among other things)

“With respect to the debates, it’s my belief that this is exactly the time when the American people need to hear from the person who, in approximately 40 days, will be responsible for dealing with this mess. And I think that it is going to be part of the president’s job to deal with more than one thing at once. I think there’s no reason why we can’t be constructive in helping to solve this problem and also tell the American people what we believe and where we stand and where we want to take the country.”

Translation:  John McCain says I’m not experienced enough to be President yet he can’t handling prepping for a debate and carrying out his duties as a Senator at the same time.

Runner Up
Mitt Romney – “He’s a Senator killer”. When talking to the press about the republican chances, Romney gave a blunt (and as we later found out, correct) assessment of John McCain’s chances. Don’t take my word for it, look at it yourself.

Overused Phrases of the Year
Swagger
Swagger outlived it’s usefulness before the song.  The song was just the straw that broke the camel’s back in 3 different places.  Aside from its rampant overuse, the other problem with the word “swagger” (or “swag”) is that it was also misused.  Swag is like an aurora that you give off.  It is noticed by those around you.  You don’t have swag simply because you say so.  Now you have everyone walking around with an unearned sense of entitlement because of some misdirected, self indulging declaration of their own swagger.  Here’s the funny thing about swagger.  If you have to announce it…you really don’t have it.

No Homo
Again, another phrase that is not only overused but misused.  Seems that dudes think these days they can say something, that is in fact, extremely homo and think that just because they stick “No Homo” at the end of the phrase that everything is okay.  Here’s a hint.  If “No Homo” is becoming an increasingly frequent part of your vocabulary, then that means you are doing something wrong.

Pedophile of the Year – AKA the Golden Shower Chris Hansen Award
R. Kelly
If seeing O.J get off in that murder trial made most black people cheer, then hearing the R. Kelly verdict made most people with an IQ above 20 go “WTF?”  This man got caught on tape with a 14 year old and somehow got off “not guilty.”  All this talk about “well, we couldn’t be sure of the girl’s age” is ridiculous.    Common Sense lets us know that R. Kelly should be in jail.  He has a known history of messing with little girls.  But, in the end he beat the charge.  Just seems strange that Mike Vick is in jail and R. Kelly isn’t there to help “braid his hair.”

Runners up
Mark Foley -  Attention Mark Foley.  The “They wanted it” defense doesn’t apply to minors.
Michael Jackson – He’s had a pretty quiet year but that gay Muslim Zorro outfit has to get him at least a honorable mention.

Coons of the Year
Every Black Person That Talked Shit about Obama
This one should be obvious.  We should have known that when the first viable African American candidate for President appeared that the coons would come out of the woodworks, falling and tripping over themselves to try to keep Obama down and make themselves look good in front of massa.  I originally was going to give this award to Black Republicans, but then I remembered that the original Obama coons were actually Black Democrats.  Remember Bob Johnson?  Hillary paraded him out on her Southern “See I have Black Friends” tour when it became obvious that Obama was starting to roll up the black vote like a snowball going down a hill.  First there was him taking shots at Obama for his past drug use and then, when his candidate finally conceded, the very next day he started circulating a petition to try to force Obama’s hand and make him pick Hillary as his runningmate.  I haven’t forgotten those in the Congressional Black Caucus who didn’t support Obama, not because they did not believe his message but because they knew the Clintons would scratch their back on a quid pro quo.  Then who could forget Democratic delegate Ann Price Mills who even after Hillary Clinton called for unity at the convention, still couldn’t bring herself to support Obama.  And that’s just the DEMOCRATS.  Least we forget James T. Harris begging McCain to go at Obama for his Bill Ayers connection and claiming Obama was a socialist or the house negroes over on Fox News like Juan Williams that were visibly jealous every time Obama hit a milestone.  I said it during the election and I’ll say it again, I have no problem with blacks that didn’t support Obama based on facts.  I have a problem with those that used silly logic and reasoning to talk down about the man, particularly in front of white people to make themselves look better.

Overrated Movie of the Year
Wanted
It’s not Wanted fault for being overrated.  Just bad timing.  It fell in between Iron Man and The Dark Knight, the two best Action/comic book movies ever made.  I remember some saying that it was better than Iron Man and while I don’t smoke, I really want the number to their connect cause if I ever do smoke, I want the very best stuff.  Wanted was good but not that good.  The movie got publicity solely based on Angelina Jolie’s diminishing sex appeal.  Seriously, her stock is falling faster than a porn star with a positive HIV report.  I think it’s the fact that she’s so damn skinny.  No woman that’s popped out twins should be that thin naturally.  She’s like 110 lbs with 80 of that in her lips.  Her ass is non-existent.  Need to put it up on the back of a milk carton (“Have You seen this ass? Call 1-800-LNG-BACK Last Seen…NEVER”).  Props to Common for adding to his acting resume by once again playing an blank face, monotone assassin.  I will say it was a huge improvement from his criminally bland Smoking Aces performance.  Keanu Reeves needs to watch out…Common could take over Reeves’s top spot as the #1 blank face actor in Hollywood.  Again, I’m not saying the movie was horrible…no…it was great.  Just a little overrated.  I will say it does have one of the greatest moments in movie cinema history with Morgan Freeman saying “Shoot this motherfucker.”  LOL.  It was like hearing your sweet, church going grandmother cuss for the first time.  Classic.

Worse Politician of the Year
John Edwards
I know you were probably expecting Rod Blagojevich here.  I know the corrupt governor of Illinois with the world’s worse shape up is on the top of everyone’s Naughty Politician list but that’s only because he’s currently in the news.  When you put all the exposed politicians in a line up, only John Edwards stands out in terms of just how shocking and damaging it could have been.  Think about it.  This douchebag John Edwards was running for President of the United States.  What if Barack Obama and Hillary Clinton cancelled each other out and somehow the weakest link ended up getting the nomination?  Don’t think it’s so far fetched.  Democrats have a history of picking the weakest candidate (See 2004 and the selection of John “Lurch” Kerry over Howard “Yee-Haww” Dean).  Imagine if this scandal broke after the DNC.  We’d be pretty much guaranteed a McCain/Palin Administration just because this self righteous asshole was too busy thinking about power and pussy instead of the fact that the skeletons in his closet could end up fucking us over.  In this day and age, secrets don’t keep…especially ones involving a democratic candidate for President who is cheating on his wife…who just so happens to have cancer.

Runners Up
John McCain -  Sarah Palin was the most qualified Republican woman?  GTFOH.  You know better.  Thank God the American people didn’t fall for it this time.

Slut of the Year
Bristol Palin
Sorry but I never bought the bullshit.  Levi Johnson said it himself on his MySpace page.  He didn’t want kids.  But when the girl you are dating gets pregnant, her mom has been tapped to run for Vice President on the Republican ticket AND she’s against abortion…you’re officially screwed.  I always love how Republicans set themselves up to put their own foot in their mouths.  You’re against abortion and even worse, you only  support abstinence only sex education…and then your daughter gets pregnant out of wedlock.  The worse thing though was the facade that somehow these two were so deeply in love they wanted to get married.  That’s a divorce waiting to happen.  Sad thing for Levi though…he’ll have to wait until at least 2012 to get that divorce.  He has to play happy until his future mother in-law realizes she’s out of her league when it comes to National politics.

Runner Up
Ashley Dupre -  One of the reasons I’m not in a rush to get married and have kids is because if my daughter grew up to be a hooker known for getting some politician caught up in a sex scandal, I might actually kill myself.  I can only imagine what Dupre’s parents are going through.  Their daughter has her own entry in Wikipedia for being the hooker that got Eliot Spitzer caught up.  That’s the indicator that you failed as a parent.

Media punching bag of the Year
Tucker Bounds
I don’t feel sorry for republican douchebags too often but honestly, the way Tucker Bounds was repeatedly beaten and abused verbally in front of millions of cable news watchers for 18 months was almost criminal.  It was like watching those Anna Nicole Smith home movies where you knew the downward spiral you were watching couldn’t be happening to a more deserving person but it still made you cringe.  Make no mistake Tucker Bounds is your typical white boy Republican douchbag who would try to convince you that the sky was green even if you can produce time stamped pictures of the sky clearly being blue.  During the campaign his delusion about McCain’s chances reminded me of Washington Redskins fans that each year convince themselves that this year is different.  I’ll give him credit for sticking to the Republican talking points even when it was clear that everyone else knew they were bullshit.  Lesser McCain aides couldn’t do that.  Even Carla Fiorina broke down when asked if she would hire Palin to run a company and said “no.”  Bounds would have not only said “yes” but would have made an argument, albeit a flawed one, that she should get a bonus.  It’s clear that the biggest loser of this Election wasn’t McCain or Palin but Bounds.  What’s he going to do now?  I say since he has a knack for getting pummeled by the media that he becomes George W. Bush’s personal spokesman.  He can spend the next 15 years trying to convince everyone that Bush wasn’t that bad of a president.

Best Hot Mic Incident
“It’s Over” -Peggy Noonan and Mike Murphy talking about McCain’s VP Choice
When Former Reagan speechwriter Peggy Noonan and former McCain adviser Mike Murphy were caught on tape saying “It’s over” and that picking Palin was “gimmicky” it only confirmed what most rational humans on the planet knew.  Noonan later tried to clean it up and say that she was talking about it was “over” for the Republican party to assume it’s base was mainstream America…but we all know they were talking about John McCain picking the single most UNQUALIFIED person to ever be picked for Vice President.  During the same incident Chuck Todd asked Noonan if Palin was the most qualified woman the Republicans could nominate and Noonan responded:

“The most qualified? No. I think they went for this, excuse me, political bullshit about narratives. Every time the Republicans do that, because that’s not where they live and that’s not what they’re good at, they blow it.”

It’s okay Peggy.  365 electoral votes to 173 electoral votes later and it turns out your original assessment was spot on.  It was OVER.

Runners Up
Shaq on Kobe – Okay, not really a hot microphone…Shaq knew it was going to be recorded and on youtube.  But still…LOL.  Rappers pay attention.  You don’t have to shoot each other up…leave the beefing on wax.

Dumbass of the Year
Plaxico Burress
After Orenthal James got himself arrested on felony charges in Vegas and “Ron Mexico” going down for running a criminal enterprise across state lines involving pit bulls, you would think NFL players would have smartened up.  At first I thought it was going to be Pacman Jones to get this award.  I was flabbergasted when this negro got a second lease on his football life from Rodger Goodell, a nice contract from Jerry Jones and the Cowboys, his own personal security detail and yet still managed to get his ass in trouble.  But in a bizarre and dumbfounding turn of events, Super Bowl Wide Receiver Plaxico Burress swooped in at the last minute to snatch this award from the outstretched hands of Pacman (Extremely ironic when you consider Pacman is a DB and Burress is a WR).  A black athlete getting caught with an unregistered gun isn’t really that shocking of a discovery.  But when that discovery is due to the fact that said athlete shot himself in the leg, the mind tends to overload from the stupidity.  I’m still wondering if it’s the same leg that had forced Burress to sit out some games and be such a bust on my Fantasy Football team.  Sorry but I don’t have sympathy for these idiots that claim they need a gun to protect themselves when they a) Haven’t been properly trained in using a gun for self defense and b)  Keep a loaded gun in some baggy sweat pants basically ensuring themselves that they won’t be able to pull the gun out in time.  Which leads me to another thought.  Black celebrities always claim that they need to protect themselves with these weapons because they are targets at clubs.  But if the dress code of the club allows you to come in sweatpants…don’t you think that is not a reputable establishment you need to be at?

Runners Up
OJ – 15 – Sentenced to 33 years for robbery with a deadly weapon, burglary with a firearm (aren’t these two redundant?), first degree kidnapping with a deadly weapon and other felony charges for trying to get back some cheap ass memorabilia with the other members of the retired A-Team.  Again, White People…it’s okay to say this was payback.  We get it.  Hell, you didn’t even try with this one.  His co-defendants got probation.

Dumbass Song(s) of the Year
Lollipop
Last year he was on a song about duffle bags that looked like man purses.  This year he makes a song about lollipops.  I predict next year Lil Wayne raps about getting a manicure and facial.  It’s the next logical step in rap music’s emasculation of men.  And that doesn’t even go into the fact that Lil Wayne basically took the old Tootsie Roll Pop commercial (The one with the Owl) and made it into a song.  And mofos were still shaking their asses to this in the club.  And when I say “shaking their asses” I’m unfortunately not just talking about women.  Now I got into a heated discussion about putting Lollipop as dumbass song of the year over Bust it Baby by Plies.  Yes, Bust it Baby was stupid as hell.  I have yet to find someone who can tell me what a Bust it Baby is.  Of course that hasn’t stopped girls from singing the song (Here’s a hint ladies…whatever it is, it can’t be good).  Bust it Baby is so bad that they had to do it twice, the second time they put Neyo on it so that he could actually translate what Plies was trying to say.  Still, in my opinion Lollipop was worse because of the way it infectiously corrupted the brain cells of people by slowly growing on them like a fungus.  It grew on people so much now some are actually saying they like it.  Bust it Baby didn’t have that power.  You could turn away from Bust it Baby, but Lollipop seems to draw people to listen to it.  It’s like when you go to the zoo and you see monkeys fucking .  You know you should turn away but yet, you are still intrigued.

Runner Up
Bust It Baby -  When you need a remix of the original in order to put an R&B singer on it to translate what you are trying to say…you need to stop making music

Crybaby of the Year
Young Buck
I have a particular disgust for rappers who talk a lot of gangsa shit but then end up being softer than a new born baby’s bottom.  Hearing Young Buck begging and crying on the phone  made a little piece of me die.  No man should have to get to that level. It’s quite pathetic. You fucked up. Take the consequences of your actions and deal with them. Don’t call another grown man crying. It’s quite disgusting.

Runner Up
Country of Georgia -  Let me see if I have this straight.  The U.S. is bogged down in two wars and is going through some financial problems…and you thought they would come to your aid when you taunted the sleeping Russian bear?  Seriously, if I had been President and I got that 3 am phone call begging for help, I would have hung the phone up and rolled back over.

Gangstas of the Year
The Axis of Evil + Putin and Russia
Kim Jong-il and North Korea bully the U.S. into giving them concessions and aid by promising to end their Nuclear program, only to restart it shortly after destroying ONE of their reactors.  Mahmoud Ahmadinejad goes on his “Death to America” tour to the U.N.  and Columbia University, then is later joined in South America by Hugo Chavez where they plan a new oil partnership.  Russia, filling in the empty Axis of Evil seat vacated by Iraq, stomps a mudhole into Georgia for stepping out of line and tells Bush flat out “You put a missile defense grid in the states around us and we’ll point nuclear weapons at them.”  Even Iraq, the Former Axis of Evildoer now on probation has taken some stands, like having a $79 billion surplus but having the U.S. foot the reconstruction bill, playing hardball with the Bush Administration on the U.S.-Iraq security agreement and how can we all forget the shoe-throwing incident.  I knew it was stupid when Bush decided to call out the “Axis of Evil” during his State of the Union Address back in 2002.   Aside from being an extremely juvenile and comic-booky term for a sitting President to use, it just seemed like a really bad idea to hit the hornet’s nest with a stick.

Athlete of the Year
Barack Obama
Sorry Michael Phelps but I’m still tripping on the fact that the next President of the United States has game.  He has the nuclear codes and he can also drain a jumper in your face from 22 feet out.  That’s a cold mofo right there.

Use of Expired 15 Minutes of Fame
Tie between Sarah Palin and Joe the Plumber
The way the media still talks about Sarah Palin you wouldn’t think that John McCain and Sarah Palin got blown out by Barack Obama and Joe Biden in the electoral college and that states like Indiana, Virginia and North Carolina turned blue.  But the media loves a train wreck.  Clips from the Charlie Gibson and Katie Couric interviews still haunt my nightmares with what could have been the next Vice President of the United States.  The McCain camp seemed to realize this too and almost immediately after the lost tried to put the Hockey Mom back into the bottle…but it seems that they might be too late.  They actually convinced this lady that she can be President.  Just recently she said that the greatest mistake of the campaign was not letting her speak to the media more.  Yes…you read that right.  The lady that went on national television and on multiple occasions said that being geographically close to Russia gives her foreign policy experience thinks she should have been talking to reporters MORE.  Unbelievable.

But Sarah Palin wasn’t alone.  Joe the Plumber was also just as much an annoying 15 minute of famer as her.  Joe became famous for a 6 minute impromptu discussion he had with Barack Obama in which, after spending 5 minutes trying to explain his tax plan to this undercover Republican douchebag Barack tried to dumb it down even further for this idiot by saying “spread the wealth” and John McCain and Republicans took that 5 second clip and put it on loop.  Just like Sarah Palin, a little digging from the media found that Joe wasn’t really who he said he was.  He didn’t own a business and he’d actually get a tax cut under Obama’s plan.  That didn’t stop him from milking his new found fame.  He claimed to be an Independent but he spewed Republican talking points so well (Obama scares me, he’s a socialist, blah blah blah) he damn near lived on Fox News (along with his ¾ retarded friend Tito the Builder).  Apparently there’s a book deal in the works and he’s also trying to get his music career started.  Seriously, if douchebags like Joe the Plumber represent every day Americans…we are fucked.

Stop Being So PC Award
Tropic Thunder Complaints
Okay.  Let’s explain something.  Robert Downey Jr. played a “black” guy in Tropic Thunder.  Yes, Robert Downey Jr. is White and no, if they had picked a black guy for the role it wouldn’t have worked.  See, Tropic Thunder was satire folks.  Satire – the use of irony, sarcasm, ridicule and the like, in exposing, denouncing or deriding vice, folly, etc.  So, having Downey play an actor who goes to any length for a part, including a “radical surgery” to play a black guy would fall under that category.  They say it’s “not satire if people don’t get it.”  That’s not true because I’m almost sure that 80% of the population doesn’t get satire.  Same goes for those that protested Tropic Thunder for the “Simple Jack” portion because they felt that the movie was making fun of retarded people. Again, if that’s the baseline for protesting a movie then we might as well stop making satire movies all together.  I wonder if people would have been pissed if Downey had thrown on some sandals and a head scarf or if Stiller was blind.  Somehow I doubt it.  I understand that some people misuse the term “satire” (See the recent case of Tennessee Republican Chip Saltsman and his ‘Barack the Magic Negro’ CD).  However you have to be able to see that correct satire has a point (which if you watch Tropic Thunder in it’s entirity, you will see) and “satire” like Mr. Saltsman’s is just a way of disguising predjudice.

Disturbing Trend of the Year
Skinny jeans
Do men who wear skinny jeans not see how ridiculous they look in the mirror before they walk out the house?  There’s nothing wrong with some regular, non-baggy jeans…but when you are wearing jeans that make compressor shorts seem free flowing, that’s a problem.  What’s next?  Bringing back those fish net half shirts in the summer time?  On second thought…forget I said that, cause someone out there will do that.  This trend disturbs me because it means one of two things: 1.  Men are becoming gayier or 2.  Men’s balls are shrinking.  Either one is very disturbing.

Underperformer of the Year
Beyonce
I wanted to give this award to Lil Wayne with his lackluster and lyrically lazy Carter III album (I don’t care that it sold a 1 million and got 8 Grammy nominations, it sucked) but I can’t ignore the travesty that is Beyonce.  Just like Keanu Reeves and his blank stare as he murmured “I know Kung Fu”, I can picture Beyonce standing in front of a mirror with a Stepford Wife blank stare saying “I am Sasha Fierce” in front of it.   Apparently “Sasha” is Beyonce’s on stage persona and if that’s the case, Beyonce needs to keep Sasha on the stage and out of the studio.  Normally when I write about something, I’ve researched it but in this case, I couldn’t get past the three horrible singles Beyonce’s released.  The new woman’s anthem “Single Ladies” is one of the worse songs I’ve ever heard.  Aside from the fact that its basically all chorus and the video was the laziest I’ve ever seen (sorry, I can see butt naked woman shaking it just like that on YouTube any day of the week) the after effects make it worse.  Now just about every girl out there, from the fine as wine types to the bloated Gollum troll looking bitches are pointing to their ring fingers and saying “Put a ring on it.”  Bitch I wouldn’t give you an order of onion rings.  Also I can’t help but feel that Beyonce is a little schizophrenic (Probably a side effect of giving Sasha a microphone).  On the one hand she has Like a Boy (Didn’t Ciara already do this concept?) which tries to get men to think about how they treat women (which is pointless since no man is really listening to this CD) but then on Diva she’s talking about being a female version of a hustla.  You can’t have it both ways.

Runners Up
Lil Wayne – Again, I don’t care if it sold a million records the first week.  So did 50 Cent’s The Masssacre and that album was also some human feces.
Dr. Dre - Look, just go ahead and say you don’t have it anymore.  Don’t blame it on Eminem hitting his stride again.  We’ve been waiting for another record for what?  8 years now?
Hillary Clinton - So what if she got 18 million votes? She lost to a black freshman senator. Hillary Clinton was the inevitable. She was supposed to crush her democratic competition and then eat the republicans alive. Sure, she got a Secretary of Defense job out of it, but still, it’s a huge step down from where she wanted to be.

Losers of the Year
Detroit Lions
Worse.Sports Franchise.Ever.  Again, I’m writing this before the results come in from the last games of the season but I’m betting that the Packers don’t pull a Baltimore Ravens from last year and mess up my chance for seeing a NFL team go 0 – 16.  I think next year they should suit up some cheerleaders.  The skill levels will be about the same and they might be distracting enough to win a game or two.  I asked this on a recent podcast, why are the Lions still called a professional football team?  All the rest of the teams need to donate their draft picks so that Detroit can get a whole new team.  One #1 draft pick isn’t going to do much.  Speaking of #1 draft picks…how much does it suck to be the #1 draft pick next year knowing you are going to a team that just got in the record books for not winning a single game all season?

Person(s) of the Year
The American People
People Magazine took the easy way out when they selected Barack Obama as the Person of the Year.  Yes, Obama definitely is deserving of the award.  He came from no where, implemented the 50 State Strategy, took down the Clinton political machine, held racist bastards at bay and then beat the well liked Republican Maverick and his pet Hockey Mom.  All while inspiring a nation.  That’s huge.  Definitely deserving.  But the American people as a whole are more deserving.  Over the last 8 years I began to lose faith in the ability of the American People to see through the bullshit and focus on the important stuff.  There were plenty of opportunities during the election for the American people revert back to paying attention to wedge issues and petty stuff but they didn’t.  First, they looked past Barack Obama’s race (for the most part).  Then there was the Reverend Wright incident.  Then all the rumors, negative ads and just silliness (Obama’s a socialist?) that came in the fall.  Through it all, the American people stepped up to the plate and said “Not this time.”  I’ll be honest, Obama gambled.  He repeatedly said during the election that he had faith in the American people to see through the “silly season” and focus on the issues at hand.  I didn’t think it would happen but it did.  Of course only time will tell if this is a temporary moment of clarity or if people have really awaken from their intellectual slumber.  Sadly, I don’t think it’ll be lasting long but for now…I’ll enjoy it.

Cheney Steps out of his Bunker
The real life Super Villian himself, Dick Cheney as emerged from his evil lair to grant the “liberal media” soundbites and interviews before he’s finally kicked out of the Oval Office. First up was him saying that Obama will appreciate the increases in Executive Power that the Bush Administration enacted. In an interview with Rush Limbaugh (If Evil Super Villians needed a Press Secretary, Rush would be it), Cheney said:

“We did not exceed our constitutional authority, as some have suggested,” Cheney added. “The President believes, I believe very deeply, in a strong executive, and I think that’s essential in this day and age. And I think the Obama administration is not likely to cede that authority back to the Congress. I think they’ll find that given a challenge they face, they’ll need all the authority they can muster.”

Honestly, reading that, was like watching Emperor Palpatine trying to corrupt the young Anakin Skywalker to the Dark Side or when Darth Vader was asking Luke to join him by his side. Geez Cheney, you’re right, suspending civil liberties does make governing a little bit easier but isn’t that the point? The job of the Government is such a difficult and taxing one because they have to do their job without trampling on the civil rights of their citizens. I love the line “We did not exceed our constitutional authority, as some have suggested.” The people that Cheney is referring to are those that have actually read the Constitution and not just used it as paper to wipe their asses with as he has been doing for the last 8 years. But wait…there’s more. In an interview with ABC news Cheney said the following in regards to the CIA’s controversial interrogation tactics:

“I was aware of the program, certainly, and involved in helping get the process cleared,” Cheney said in an interview with ABC News.
Asked whether he still believes it was appropriate to use the waterboarding method on terrorism suspects, Cheney said: “I do.”

This is why your first name is Dick, you dickwad. You’re supposed to say NO. First off, you’re not supposed to admit to being the one who got the process of torturing mofos cleared. I guess the fear that Bush is going to lay down a blanket pardon is justified. Then, you’re not supposed to say that waterboarding is appropriate. Of course it’s torture, of course it’s wrong and of course you’re still going to do it. BUT FOR THE LOVE OF GOD AT LEAST ACT LIKE YOU HAVE SOME KIND OF HUMANITY IN YOU. Even if it’s pretend…WTF

US to Start Arming Afghan Militias
Oh what could possibly go wrong with giving U.S weapons to Afghan militias? Seriously, I sometimes wonder if the idiots in the government have picked up a history book. I seem to recall something in history class about the C.I.A. arming Afghan militants against the Russians back in the 70’s. I think I even did a timeline on something like this. Let’s see, we trained them in how to fight an insurgency, how to make IEDs, we even trained them to use Stinger missiles. Fast forward 30 years and we are now fighting the remnants of those CIA trained militiamen in Iraq, Pakistan, Somalia, and Afghanistan. I think we call them Al Qaeda. Duh. And if the U.S. can’t remember history from 30 years ago, how about from a couple of years ago. Those Iraqi militias we gave weapons too, sure, they helped fight Al Qaeda…but they didn’t give the weapons back (who would) and now they pose a threat to both Iraqi Civilians, the Iraqi Government AND our troops. Good policy guys. I know Obama’s talked about doing something similar to this and I swear, I voted for the guy but I still say if he supports this, it’s a pretty idiotic thing to do. WTF

Caroline Kennedy wants Clinton’s senate seat
Does anyone else find it as funny as I do that there are Clinton loyalists questioning Caroline Kennedy’s qualifications to be a Senator? Are they forgetting that when Senator Clinton ran for her Senate seat, she had barely been living in New York and only had her husband’s name as her credentials? I was watching Morning Joe and they were talking out the side of their necks again. Joe and Mika (who is slowly starting to annoy the hell out of me) were saying that with the election of Obama, the American people have shown that they are tired of political family dynasties. Okay, that’s only half right. The American people are tired of Bush/Clinton political family dynasties. America LOVES the Kennedys. And considering that the most prominent Kennedys were associated with Obama during the election, I doubt that America is tired of them (Remember the love from both sides of the aisle that Ted got when he was at the DNC?). Caroline was very instrumental in Obama’s campaign and she would be an excellent choice. And if she does a bad job, then she’ll be voted out in 2 years. What’s the problem? WTF

PTA Official caught half naked with 13 year old
What about a 13 year old, barely hitting puberty boy does something for a grown ass woman? What woman gets horny and goes “Damn, I really want some pre-teen boy cock?” The other question I have is why are women always getting themselves caught up in this? Like they always get caught red handed cause they either get pregnant or they do like this idiot does and tries to have sex with a little boy in the backseat of her car (in an Elementary School parking lot)…WTF

A first down is generally 10 yards
Attention Jim Zorn. A first down is typically 10 yards. That means you want plays that go for 10 yards or more. If it’s 3rd and 5 yards…that means you have to go 5 yards to get a first down. That means….STOP IT WITH THE 2 YARD PLAY ON 3RD AND LONG. I’m tired of this shit. I have two Redskins on my Fantasy team this year so I decided to give them a chance again this year after having a relapse and buying into the “it’s the Skin’s year this year” bullshit.  Try throwing the ball down the field you douchebags…WTF

Washing your hands
How hard is it to wash your hands after using the bathroom? I used to think that shit was automatic like breathing but apparently to people at work it’s a foreign concept. These nasty bastards be going from the urinal (or worse, the stall) straight to the door bypassing the sink all together. Would it kill you to at the very least fake it and get your hands wet. Something.  Anything…WTF

Driving Tip of the Day
If you are on a two lane highway and you’re in say the right lane and there’s a driver to your left and they put on their turn signal…DO NOT SLOW DOWN OR SLAM ON YOUR BRAKES!!!! You’re going to cause an accident. The person behind you will run into your car. It is the responsibility of the driver beside you to slow down or speed up to get into the next lane…not yours. I almost got into two accidents last week cause the fuckwad (copyright pending on that word) in front of me slammed on their brakes to let a car over. Stop it, it’s not rude to keep going…it’s the law…WTF

Mariah Carey
If Mariah is in fact pregnant with his seed, Nick Cannon will go down as the smartest man to ever live. Think about it. On paper, dude is mediocre at best. He’s like the cool guy working at the back of the Burger King…you know, the one that freestyles and tells jokes during lunch break that always thinks he can make it big…but we all know they aren’t getting any further up then fry duty. That’s who Nick Cannon should be. He should be sporting a Burger King cap and standing behind the counter when one of us decides to “Have it your way”.  But he got Dumline and was able to milk that 15 minutes of fame for everything it was worth (Take note Superhead, New York and all the other 15 minute of famers out there). Think about it, what has he done of significance since Drumline other than bang Christian Milian and marry Mariah Carey, the #1 crazy bitch of all time. I have to be honest, I thought he was stupid for doing it but turns out Nick has it all worked out. Marry a Crazy Bitch. Get her pregnant. Get her crazy ass committed for being a psycho. Spend her money. Gotdamn…dude is a genius.  He’s turned himself into the male version of Anna Nicole Smith except he married an older HOT chick and he’s not battling a drug and weight problem…yet…WTF

The Korean talks about her trip to New York and how she ended up in the same Wal-Mart that resulted in a man being trampled to death on Black Friday. Bush showed his agility this weekend when he ducked two shoes thrown at him by a disgruntled Iraqi reporter. Rod Blagovejich is still being defiant, the auto bailout failed, oil prices have raised slightly (meaning Dubai will still be able to make their refrigerated beach resort), 70 year old Bernie Madoff is arrested for $50 billion fraud, The Day the Eart Stood Still kinda sucked, Kriss and the Korean try to think of a Nicolas Cage movie that he didn’t cry in, Michael Jackson dresses like a gay Muslim Zorro, Chuck E Cheese leads to adults acting like fools and some dumwit white girls take a bath in a KFC sink.

We’re looking for writers for TheInsanityReport.com and guests for the Insanity Check Podcast. If you are interested, email us at KrissandTheKorean@theInsanityReport.com. Also hit us up if you’re good with graphic designs or music production (we’re looking for a new opening for the podcast). Join the Facebook Fan page or follow us on Twitter.

How do you know your legacy as President will be bad? When the people you claim to have liberated throw their shoes at you. At a press conference in Iraq this weekend, George Bush had to duck as an Iraqi reporter threw both of his shoes at the current (unfortunately) U.S. President. The shoes barely miss G.W. I for one can’t be the only one who wishes that at least one of them had hit the idiot square in his head. Let’s be honest. He deserves it. In Iraq, throwing your shoes at someone is a sign of contempt and disrespect. Again, can’t say that there’s a more deserving guy.

So how do you spin this? Well, the word on the street is…this was a show of “Freedom of Speech” that wouldn’t have been allowed under Saddam Hussein. See, we liberated them so that they could hate us. Brilliant.

One of the common themes that has popped up when talking about this election has been the big issue of Foreign Policy.  Foreign policy has been touted as John McCain’s strong suit and as something that he holds an advantage over Barack Obama in.  Of course when you add in a foreign policy novice like Sarah Palin, you start to think about just how serious this can be.  I’ve been spending some time going to Republican/Conservative/Right Wing websites because I want to “see how the other side thinks”.  In particular I’ve been interested in the arguments of African Americans that are supporting John McCain and the Republicans.  I’m baffled by these individuals not because they are supporting a white man over a man of their own ethnic background (hell, I supported Kerry over Sharpton) but because most of these individuals are college educated and successful individuals and I wanted to see how they reconciled the Republican parties recent foreign policy stances.  What I found was just recycled and repeated republican talking points.

I believe most voters (apparently even some politicians), Democrats and Republicans, don’t understand history and just how deep the rabbit hole goes as far as how what is going on today is a culmination of bad policy decisions over the years.  What I’ve done is put together a little timeline that marks some significant policy and political events that have shaped the world we live in today.  By no means is this extensive or complete, and I encourage people to do further research.  I start with the Cold War only because that’s a good starting point in an effort to keep this as brief as possible.  I could surely trace this back waaaaaaaaaay further, (The Cruscades, the Rise and Fall of Rome, etc.).  The movie, The Kingdom, had a pretty good montage at the beginning that explained the U.S.-Saudi Arabia relationship and that is good as well.

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Cold War
The beginning of the Cold War can be roughly pinpointed at the end of World War II.  Tensions between the U.S. and the Soviet Union started here.  As the Soviet war machine pushed back against the Nazis, the Soviets were out for blood.  The Soviets lost approximately 10,700,000 soldiers and 11,500,000 civilians, the highest among any of the countries involved in the fighting (and twice that of Germany).  In terms of total deaths in relations to their populations, the Soviets lost approximately 13% of their population.  When the smoke settles, the world is left with two new super powers, the Unitied States (democracy) and the Soviet Union (communism).  Great Britian is still reeling from the war and France is still recovering from occupation.  The Soviets see this as their opportunity to solidify their stance in Europe and why shouldn’t they, as one of the winners of the War, they believe it is their right to reap the benefits.  The United States sees a dictator in Stalin who has the potential to be just as ruthless as the Dictator they just ousted in Europe.  What follows is the Soviets and the U.S. treating third world countries as game pieces in the longest, deadliest game of Risk every played.  With both the U.S and the Soviets developing nuclear weapons by 1950, the “game” essentially turned into a land grab with each side trying to one up the other by installing puppet governments (Soviets) or “Pro-Western” governments (U.S.).  This is the back drop for things like the Chinese Civil War, the Korean War, The Vietnam War, etc.  But for the purposes of this timeline I’ll stick to the Middle East for the most part.

1953
The U.S. supports Operation Ajax in Iran, a coup that re-installed the unpopular, but pro-western dictatorship of Shah Mohammad Reza.  The U.S. supports this as Iran is the most powerful nation in the Persian Gulf and shares a border with Cold War rival Russia.  To be clear, the U.S. helped overthrow the ELECTED prime minister (who leaned more towards the Soviet Union) in order to place one more U.S. friendly.

October 7, 1959
A 22 year old CIA backed assassin botches an assassination attempt against Iraqi Prime Minister Abdul karim Qassim.  Prime Minister Qassim drew the ire of the U.S. and British because he withdrew Iraq from the pro-Western Baghdad Pact, established relations with the Soviet Union, withdrew from agreements with the British and the U.S. and even lifted the ban on the Iraqi Communist Party.  When the assassination attempt fails the wounded young assassin escapes to Egypt with the help of CIA and Egyptian intelligence agents.  The young assassin’s name was Saddam Hussein

February 8, 1963
Iraqi Prime Minister Qassim is killed in a Baath Party coup aided by the CIA.  The CIA was able to obtain models of Soviet made MIG fighters and tanks in return.

January 16, 1979
Shah Mohammad Reza flees Iran after being overthrown by extreme Islamic fundamentalist.  The CIA had no Human Intelligence in Iran for the previous year and the coup catches the CIA off guard.  It should also be noted that the extreme Islamic fundamentalist that took over (and are still in charge as of 2008) gained this opportunity because the U.S. backed unpopular Shah prosecuted or executed all of his moderate opponents.  So, the people of Iran left with an unpopular Western backed leader go to the other extreme and support Islamic fundamentalists.

July 3, 1979
President Carter signs directives for secret aid to opponents of the pro-Soviet regime in Afghanistan.  This is done with the express knowledge that this will increase the likelihood of Soviet involvement in Afghanistan.  The purpose of this was to create Russia’s own “Vietnam”.

December 27, 1979
The Soviet Union predictably invades Afghanistan starting the Soviet-Afghan war.  The Soviets supported the Marxist People’s Democratic Party of Afghanistan while the United Stated covertly supported the mujahideen resistance.  The U.S. funnels $3 – $20 BILLION to train and equip Islamic fundamentalist insurgents along with the Pakistani Inter-Service Intelligence.  This include U.S. made Stinger shoulder launched surface to air missiles.

September 22, 1980
Iraq invades Iran and begins the Iran-Iraq War

Feburary 1982
Ronald Reagan removes Iraq from list of State Sponsors of Terror, despite Congress’s objections.  Iraq had been put on there during the 6-day war in 1967.  This opens up the ability to sell previously export-controlled items(i.e. Weapons) to Iraq.  This is 3 years after the pro-U.S. Shah in Iran has been ousted.

December 1982
Hughes Aircraft ships 60 Defender Helicopters to Iraq

August 1983
Iraq orders 10 Huey Helicopters (used for troop transportation like in Vietnam) and while Congress opposes, the sale is approved

1984
Under the guise of penetrating the civilian market, the U.S. sells 45 Bell 214ST helicopters to Iraq, worth $200 million.

March 27, 1985
National Security Decision Directive 166 entitled “US Policy, Programs and Strategy in Afghanistan” is defined.  This established the goal of driving Soviet forces from Afghanistan using “all means available”.  Also in 1985, the U.S began providing satellite intelligence of Soviet positions, intercepted Soviet communications, explosive timing devices for urban sabotage (or if you want to call it what they were, IEDs, Improvised Explosive Devices.  Sorta like those killing our soldiers in Iraq in 2008), sniper rifles, anti-tank missiles, targeting devices for mortars linked to U.S. navy satellites and other equipment.

(By 1987 it is estimated that 65,000 tons of U.S. made weaponry is entering Afghanistan each year)

July 1985
Israel sends American Made BGM-71 TOW antitank missiles to Iran.  This is the first arms sale in the Iran-Contra affair.  This was in essence an attempt by the Reagan administration to secure the release of hostages by trading hostages for U.S. weapons, shipped to “moderate” Iranian groups.  Over the next year there are several shipments of U.S. weapons made to Iran through Israel.  The Iran-Contra scandal is a whole issue in itself, but the most important thing in this time line is to note that the U.S. is selling helicopters and equipment to Iraq and supplying anti-tank missiles and anti-aircraft missiles to Iran…while both countries are at war with each other. Interesting side note on the Iran-Contra affair.  Oliver North’s involvement in this scandal got him convicted of drug trafficking (long story).  This is the same Oliver North that now has his own radio show as well as his own show on Fox News.  Yup…Fox News has a convicted drug smuggler hosting a show.

June 1986
Pakistani officers travel to the U.S. to get training on using Stinger missiles.

March 1988
The Iraqi military attacks Kurdish civilians by delivering poisonous gas from helicopters, the same helicopters bought from the Reagan Administration.

April 14, 1988
The Geneva Accords are signed, ending the situation in Afghanistan and setting a timetable for withdrawal of Soviet Troops from Afghanistan.  The U.S. backed afghan resistance fighters are not party to the negotiations.  The U.S., having got what it wanted in seeing Russia get dragged into a 9 year conflict in which the U.S. remained fairly unscathed, leaves the Afghan fighters to fend for themselves.  The Civil War in Afghanistan continues until 1992.

July 1988
Iraqi Airplanes drop chemical cyanide bombs on Iranian Kurdish villages.

August 11, 1988
The initial meeting of al-Qaeda.

August 20 1988
The Iran-Iraq War ends

September 8, 1988
The U.S. Senate unanimously passes the “Prevention of Genocide Act of 1988” which levies heavy sanctions on Iraq by cutting off loans, military assistance, U.S. imports of Iraqi oil and other items.  (One of the cosponsors of this bill happens to be one Senator Albert Gore Jr.).   The Reagan Administration effectively kills this bill on the last day of the legislative session.

February 15, 1989
The last of the Soviet troops leaves Afghanistan approximately 10 years after they entered. To add some context, the U.S. has been in Afghanistan for 7 years now.

August 1, 1990
The Bush Administration approves the sale of $395 million worth of “advanced data transmission devices” to Iraq.

August 2, 1990
Saddam launches the invasion of Kuwait.  (There is no typo between the last two dates).  Bush compares the invasion of Kuwait to the Nazis, despite the fact that between 1985 and 1990 the Reagan and Bush administrations sold 1.5 billion dollars of advanced weaponry and technology to Saddam.

August 1990
Osama Bin Laden approaches Prince Sultan bin Abdelaziz al-Saud with an offer to lead forces to protect Saudi Arabia and drive Saddam’s forces out of Kuwait.  Bin Laden is leery of allowing U.S. forces to base out of Saudi bases and sees the Iraq invasion as an “internal” issue to be dealt with by using Muslim forces.

August 7/8, 1990
Operation Desert Shield is launched.  The goal is to defend Saudi Arabia from possible Iraqi aggression.  The U.S. launches the largest deployment of U.S. troops since Vietnam.  U.S. aircraft patrol the Kuwait – Saudi border.  The Navy deploys two carrier strike groups.  The U.S. continues a build-up of troops that soon reaches 543,000 troops.

September 11, 1990
President George H.W. Bush gives a speech and lists reasons for becoming involved in this conflict.  The Pentagon backs up President Bush’s claims that Iraq is massing forces along the Kuwaiti/Saudi border for an imminent attack with Top Secret satellite photos.  These photos are later shown to be false by a Saint Petersburg Times reporter.  The reporter views commercial satellite photos of the same area taken at the same time of the Pentagons photos and there was nothing but empty desert.

November 29, 1990
UN Security Council passes Resolution 678 which gives Saddam a withdrawal deadline of January 15, 1991 and also authorizes the use of force to uphold this resolution.  The U.S, also around this time, assembles a coalition of 34 countries to join in against Iraq: Afghanistan, Argentina, Australia, Bahrain, Bangladesh, Belgium, Canada, Denmark, Egypt, France, Greece, Italy, Kuwait, Morocco, The Netherlands, New Zealand, Niger, Norway, Oman, Pakistan, Philippines, Portugal, Qatar, Republic of Korea, Saudi Arabia, Senegal, Sierra Leone, Singapore, Spain, Syria, the United Arab Emirates, the United Kingdom

January 17, 1991
Operation Desert Storm is launched with U.S. helicopters destroying Iraq radar sites.  1000 sorties were launched per day.  The Iraqi Air force flees to Iran.  Iran captures the pilots and planes and does not release them after the war is over.

February 2, 1991
The CIA encourages Iraqi Shia and Kurds to rebel by broadcasting from Saudi Arabia “The Voice of Free Iraq.”  The CIA is trying to get an insurgency against the Baath Party and Saddam Hussein.

February 24, 1991
The U.S. begins the ground war campaign by sending Marine Divisions in to attack Iraqi Forces in central Kuwait.

February 27, 1991
Exactly 100-hours after the ground campaign begun, President Bush orders a cease-fire.  History has shown that this was more of a political show movie (ending in exactly 100 hours) than a tactical one.

March 3, 1991
U.S. Commander General Norman Schwarzkopf holds cease-fire talks with Iraqi negotiators.  The General is not a trained negotiator and so he doesn’t see a problem with allowing the Iraqis to be allowed to fly armed helicopters in Iraqi territory.  The Iraqi negotiators are extremely adamant about this and claim they need to use the helicopters to fly officials around the country.

March/April 1991
Saddam uses helicopters to suppress the Shia rebellion in south Iraq and the Kurdish rebellion in the North.  The rebels believe they would be supported by the U.S. (who just a month before was encouraging these rebellions).

September 1996
Taliban takes over the Afghanistan capital.  The majority of Taliban fighters received their training and weapons from the CIA (recruited by Pakistan, Saudi Arabia and other Middle Eastern countries)  during the Afghan-Soviet war.

August 7, 1998
The U.S. embassies in Tanzania and Nairobi are bombed.  This is on the 8th anniversary of U.S. troops being deployed to the Persian Gulf.  Osama Bin Laden and al-Qaeda take credit.

September 11, 2001
19 members of al-Qaeda hijacked four commercial airlines.  Two are crashed into the World Trade Center towers, one is crashed into the Pentagon and the fourth crashes in Pennsylvania after passengers and flight crews attempt to retake the plane.  The U.S. response is the launch of the War on Terrorism.

October 7, 2001
The U.S. begins bombing targets in Afghanistan.  There is no official declaration of War.

June 2002
The U.S. quietly stepped up engagements in the Southern No-Fly Zone of Iraq with a focus on degrading Iraq’s air defense and communications abilities.  It should be noted that this was done BEFORE authorization to go to war was granted.

October 2002
Saudi Arabia makes it clear that they will not allow the U.S. to use it’s airspace or bases to launch attacks against Iraq.

November 13, 2002
Northern Alliance forces, backed by U.S./Nato forces, arrive in the capital cent of Kabul, Afghanistan.

March 20, 2003
The Military invasion of Iraq by the U.S. begins.  There are several other Islamic nations that were in the coalition during the first Iraq War are missing from this coalition:  Saudi Arabia, Afghanistan and Syria.

April 2003
U.S. announces it will withdraw U.S. military personnel out of Saudi Arabia and terminate it’s decade old military presence there that had been a point of resentment for many Saudis (and one of the objections of Osama Bin Laden).

May 1,2003
Onboard the aircraft carrier USS Abraham Lincoln, President Bush declares “Mission Accomplished” in the War in Iraq.  Soon after the Iraqi insurgency starts and al-Qaeda in Iraq steps up attacks against American troops.  The Bush Administration is caught completely off guard.

March 2004
The U.S. announces plans to create 14 “enduring” bases in Iraq.  These bases will be long term encampments that will house thousands of American troops.  So, the lesson we learned was…when we’ve over stayed our welcome in one Arab country…move into another one.

February 10, 2007
General David Petraeus is named the commander of the Multi-National Force-Iraq and starts to employ the U.S’s “surge” strategy.

June 2007
It is reported that U.S. forces as part of the “surge” are arming (as well as coordinating tactics) nationalist guerrillas and former Saddam Hussein loyalists to fight al-Qaeda in Iraq.  Just a few months before these same forces were fighting U.S. troops.  This is yet another example of the U.S. making “deals with the devil”.  Just a look at this sparse timeline shows that the U.S.’s history of making these sorts of deals with the “lesser of two evils” doesn’t work (See Iran, Afghan-Soviet War, Iraq, etc.).

June – September 2008
Proponents of the “surge” strategy point to lower violence and attacks as signs that the surge worked.  However, what doesn’t get a lot of attention in politics or the media is that one of the reasons the violence lowered was because their were less people to kill.  See, part of the violence in Iraq wasn’t caused by al-Qaeda but a Civil War between Sunnis and Shia which resulted in ethnic cleansing.

June 13, 2008
Taliban fighters liberate all prisoners in Kandahar jail.  They free 1200 prisoners, 400 who were Taliban prisoners.  This is a wake up call to those who forgot about the war in Afghanistan.  What most proponents of the surge seemed to miss was that in increasing the number of troops in Iraq, the Bush Administration neglected the war in Afghanistan.  The Taliban and al-Qaeda have re-emerged stronger.  The Kandahar prison break was just a wakeup call to the public that Afghanistan has been taking a turn for the worse.  2008 has been the deadliest year for American troops in Afghanistan since the start of the war there in 2002.

As you can see, the notion that the U.S. comes in and spreads democracy to those citizens that yearn for freedom is bullshit.  We’ve supported assassins, dictators and repressive governments just to make a buck or even worse (in the case of the Afghan-Soviet War) to treat war and destruction like it’s a game.  This timeline barely scratches the surface.  I skipped a lot just out of the sake of not doing this for years.  I left out the blank check we give to Israel (which, if you heard Sarah Palin’s interview, she seems to think we should keep giving), even more details on operations in Afghanistan/Iraq/Iran, the U.S. operations in Syria, Egypt, Palestine, Vietnam, Cuba, etc.  Right Wing conservatives like to say that this War on Terror we are waging right now is a righteous war in response to unprovoked aggression from Islamic fundamentalists. They are either lying through their teeth or even worse…completely ignorant to the truth.  When you lay in the mud, expect to get dirty.  Acting as if the U.S. hasn’t bought and trained for many of the same terrorists we seek right now is just ridiculous.

A few other points of interest:

In 2004, the Patterns of Global Terrorism report which shows detailed assessments of the number of international terrorism acts was no longer published after the Bush-Cheney administration question the methodology for counting terror activity after 2004 shows a drastic increase in the number of attacks.  2004 showed 651 significant attacks leaving 1,907 people killed and 8,000 wounded.  The number of attacks was the highest in 21 years of complied terrorism data.  2005 showed 11,111 attacks (around 3,800 occurred in Iraq and Afghanistan).

Biggest Arms Dealers in the world are US, Russia, France and Germany. US in terms of revenue and Russia in terms of quantity.  China, Egypt and India are heaviest buyers of arms. The U.S has completed agreements to sell helicopters and other weapons to Egypt, radar systems to Taiwan, helicopters to Brazil and Israel and other weapons systems to Oman and Pakistan.

The U.S. has given $5 billion to Pakistan for the purpose of fighting al-Qaeda but most has been used to fund Pakistan’s arms race against India.  It’s well believed that Osama Bin Laden is living comfortably along the border of Pakistan and Afghanistan.  The U.S. before 2008 has given India approximately $109 million before cutting that to $81 million in 2008. Pakistan and India both have nuclear weapons.

Afghanistan has been called “The graveyard of empires”.  From Alexander the Great to The Soviets to the United States now.  History has proven that military powers that enter into conflicts in the Afghanistan region end up having disastrous consequences.

52% of Afghanistan’s GDP is generated by their drug trade that boomed after the Taliban was removed.  The Taliban outlawed the production of opium.  In 2005, Afghanistan became the worlds #1 opium supplier and produces 90% of the world’s opium (heroin).

The first Gulf War cost the U.S. $61 billion.  $54 billion was offset by contributions by other members in the coalition.  $36 billion from Gulf states and $16 billion from Japan and Germany.  Currently, the Iraq War has cost the U.S. just under $600 billion and could surpass $1 trillion.

The U.S. entered Iraq in 2003 with less than half the troops they had in the first war and a significantly smaller coalition of other nations.