You might have heard that Paris Hilton was arrested for cocaine possession. Oh what’s that? You DIDN’T hear that? Well yes, America’s favorite lily white freeloader was arrested on a felony cocaine possession charge. Now some will say that the lack of media attention on Hilton is because of her color. I don’t agree with that unless you’re talking about the color and amount of her money. What I always find funny (and sad because it usually works) are the excuses the super privileged make when they get caught doing something illegal. Hilton is claiming that the bag of coke found in HER purse…doesn’t belong to her. The purse itself…her’s. The $1300 in cash…her’s. The credit cards…her’s. The ROLLING PAPERS…her’s. But the small amount of cocaine? “Well no officer…that’s obviously not mine.” Can you imagine Paris trying to use that excuse if she wasn’t a trust fund baby? Yeah she would be laughed out of court and into a jail cell. I actually think we should just start paying celebrities in drugs. Well, maybe not all of their salary, but at least half. “For this movie we’ll give you $2 million and a kilo of coke” Why not? They’re going to do drugs anyway because they self medicate for all the fucked up mental issues they have but don’t address. And when caught they don’t go to jail unless they’re just super out of control with it…like DMX. Lohan doesn’t count because, she barely spent time in prison.
Let’s get this out of the way now: No I do not believe Rick Sanchez is a racist. No I don’t think he’s got some undercover hatred for black people. I honestly believe that if Obama was white or if this was during the Bush Administration that Sanchez would have still used the phrase “cotton pickin”. My problem with the whole thing is that Rick Sanchez, like many of his counterparts, have gotten so caught up in being loud and combative, that they say stupid shit like this without knowing. Whether the President is white or black doesn’t matter. Sanchez shouldn’t have used this phrase, not because it could be offensive to some, but rather because it’s just not professional. And this is the problem with the media these days. Too busy trying to be tough, and bold and the result is sensationalized news. Take this clip of Cenk Uygur filling in for Dylan Ratigan going off on a republican guest about Social Security.
Whether you agree with Cenk Uygur or not, shouldn’t matter. What you should recognize though is that this interview was worthless. It’s basically two people yelling at each other and the facts and information gets lost in that exchange. I understand the frustration that Uygur feels but what he needs to realize is that he’s not making YouTube videos. He’s on MSNBC with millions watching. He has a responsibility to be posed and informative, not a jackass like the rest of us on the Internet. But this is what all of the media does. Chris Matthews, Rick Sanchez, David Shuster (when he was on TV) and the idiots over at Fox News. The Prime Time news hours have become shout fests and information isn’t disseminated to the people. I understand that progressives/liberals are upset by the amount of misinformation being spread, but I’m sorry, the tactics used here and by Ed Schultz and others just aren’t the way to go. Sure your view point is shouted out but it convinces no one because no one hears it. I favor a tactic like the President used during his Health Care summit. He took on the GOP head on and shot down (not shouted down) each of their talking points with facts in a calm but assertive way. Did it work immediately? No…of course not. But if you watched the whole 8 hour showdown you would have noticed that about halfway through…democrats and republicans actually started having a real conversation with each other about Health Care. It’s amazing what happens when you actually try to have a conversation rather than shouting down the other side. What really pisses me off about this is that Jon Stewart on the COMEDY CENTRAL channel does better “opposition interviews” than most in the media and the results speak for themselves. I should add that Rachael Maddow does great interviews as well. I just wish more people would take their lead so we could finally start having conversations in this country rather than shouting matches.
What About These People Glenn Beck?
I have to give Glenn Beck credit. No no … hear me out…I haven’t been kidnapped with a gun to my head being forced to type this. No I have to give Glenn Beck credit for playing the media and opposition to his rally last Saturday. Too many people in the media and in the opposition to this rally overplayed their hand and Beck saw what the criticism of his rally would be and he adjusted it before stepping out on the Lincoln Memorial. When I found out that Beck wasn’t allowing signs at the rally and didn’t hand out press passes for the Kennedy Center event, I knew that Beck had all the aesthetics in place to mask what was really going on. Beck played it so well that after the rally people who could really only rely on visuals (many provided by Beck’s own camera crews) to pass judgment on what the crowd was about. Thankfully…some people still know what real journalism is and did some foot work.
Can I just say that I have to give these guys (the one on the mic and whoever is behind the camera) all the credit in the world for keeping a straight face and not bursting out in laughter. Hell they didn’t even make snarky comments. They probably edited them out.
Topics for the show:
James Toney gets a rude awakening to UFC
The MMA vs Boxing debate is really pointless
Just be honest, your account wasn’t hacked…you just sad some stupid shit
The pussification of men continues with men getting mad when women reject them
Your real sexism is fucking up my comedy sexism
How to avoid arguing with idiots on Twitter
Glenn Beck invades DC
Beck claims he’s not hijacking MLK’s legacy…by hijacking MLK’s legacy
Alveda King shames her family name
Post racial? Nettleton Middle School says otherwise
Chris Matthews shows us with his Terry Jones interview why the MSM
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With the exception of Shep Smith, the entire line up of Fox News is a shining example of what modern day fear mongering mixed with propaganda looks like. Fox & Friends deserves special mention though because there’s nothing quite like this kind of fuckery in the morning. Jon Stewart and the Daily Show recently had a segment where John Oliver and Wyatt Cenac tried to convince the audience that Fox News was either Team Evil or Team Stupid. In my opinion, Fox & Friends is an unholy union between both. You have Grechen Carlson who represents Team Evil because Jon Stewart’s already exposed her as not being the dumb blond she pretends to be on TV. Steve Doocy is Team Stupid because, well he used to be the weatherman and somehow that qualified him to be a full blown host giving his opinions on issues he knows nothing about. And Brian Kilmeade? He’s some bastardized mutated version of the two. What makes Fox & Friends so bad is how they push an agenda and appear to be so serious and innocent when doing it. At least when Sean Hannity does it, he has that douchebag smirk on his face and you know he’s struggling to keep the feces building up in his esophagus from spilling out of his ears. The fools at Fox & Friends though make it seem like they are reading off facts from inside a Britannica Encyclopedia. But what really makes Fox & Friends bad that no one seems to notice is that Fox & Friends is the next step from conservative bloggers in the linear chain of how conservative bullshit gets into the mainstream. People forget that it was actually Steve Doocy, not Sarah Palin, that was the first to spew the “Well Alaska is close to Russia” line about Palin having foreign policy experience. Doocy gets quickly dismissed for suggesting something so ludicrous but sure enough, days later, that became a “legitimate” talking point on the Right.
The great thing about Fox & Friends is how easy it is to switch out the pieces. When one of the regulars goes on break or on the weekend, Fox News comes in with their doplegangers: a blond, an idiot and a brown hairded fool trying to make comedy. You have to remember that Carlson is actually the replacement for E.D Hill. You’ll remember her as the idiot who coined the “Terrorist fist jab” phrase. Gotta love Fox & Friends. They’re trailblazers in idiocy.
Glenn Beck
Calling Glenn Beck a liar really is an understatement to just how destructive this man is. Beck is like a jail house convict who spent 10 years in prison reading books, gets out and now thinks they are the most enlightened person in the world. You know what I’m talking about. The fresh out of jail preacher who has just enough knowledge to be dangerous, and not in a good way. To be honest, Beck actually does base a lot of his claims on fact. The problem is how he cherry picks which facts he wants to highlight and the absurd logic he uses to associate completely unrelated things. Take Beck’s constant use of the Weimar Republic, Hitler and the Nazis. We all know Beck uses so many Hitler references I’m sure he’s paying royalties to Adolf’s great grandkids. Beck is always using the fall of the Weimar Republic and the rise of Hitler as some cautionary tale of what President Obama and his “radical pals” are doing to America. Problem is, Beck leaves out the part about the Treaty of Versailles and how the economic problems Germany faced makes what we’re going through look like a bump in the road. Or how he talked about Civil Rights and slavery and left out the parts about the Transatlantic slave trade, slave auctions or how a century after slavery “ended” African Americans were still treated as second class citizens. Oh and he also conveniently leaves out that the “American People” he cherishes so much…supported that discrimination as well.
But what really gets me is how Beck tries to worm his way around taking responsibility for spewing hate or misinformation. Take his stance on whether Obama is really a secret Muslim. He first comes out and says that he’ll “Take the President at his word that he’s a Christian.” That kind of half assed statement is already bad to begin with (Yeah I’m looking at you Mitch McConnell) but then Beck channeled his inner Chris Rock and basically said “I’m not saying calling the President a Muslim is right…but I understand.” He went on for 10 – 20 minutes trying to claim that Black Theology wasn’t Christianity and even more disgusting how some of the things President Obama said on the campaign trail and in speeches was “close to” some “Islamic principles.” Or how about his 8/28 “Restore Honor” rally which just so happens to be on the anniversary of Dr. King’s “I Have a Dream Speech.” Beck claims he “didn’ t know” that it was the same date [Insert straight face] and that he wouldn’t dare claim to be like MLK (Although apparently Gandhi, Jesus and Abe Lincoln are okay icons for Beck to claim similarities too). Of course for a man claiming he’s not trying to hijack the legacy of King, Beck’s spent almost an entire week of his show…doing just that. The irony of the whole thing is, if King was alive today, Beck and his Tea Party movement would be calling him a socialist for King’s thoughts on “fundamentally transforming this country”.
Ted Nugent
Ever gone out for Chinese food and ate bad moo shu or some old General Tso chicken and leaving your insides feeling like a kung fu class is taking place in your intestines? Well the horrible excretion from your ass that ends up in your toilet from that poor choice in dinner…that’s Ted Nugent. Nugent is the byproduct of America’s legacy of bigotry, hatred and a piss poor education system. If hatred and discrimination are America’s villain then Nugent is writing the villian’s theme music. To be honest I really didn’t know who Ted Nugent was until that clip of him at a concert where he was holding a machine gun and telling Hillary Clinton and Barack Obama they could suck on it. To be honest, I wish Nugent would suck on his own machine gun and pull the trigger. The man is really the most worthless piece of human flesh and bones on the earth and for a planet that includes the likes of Soulja Boy and Kat Stacks…that’s saying a lot. Ted Nugent latest idiocy? Claiming President Obama is really a secret “Moslem Operative”. Now to be honest, the “Obama’s really a secret one-man terror cell” conspiracy theories are actually my favorite because the paranoia of the fuckers who believe them is actually something that should be used as a case study in psychology classes. Think about it. To believe this you would have to believe that 40 years ago a group of Illuminati like Muslims got together and drew straws to see who would go to America to impregnate a lily white American girl creating the world’s first “Terror Baby” who would later become President and open the door for Islam to conquer America… all while giving him the most exotic sounding name ever thought of in American politics. If you believe that you’re either a) Bat shit crazy b) Stupid or c) Bat shit crazy and stupid. For Ted Nugent I’ll go with c). But you know the real problem I have with Nugent? Well the fact that for all his shit talking he’s nothing more than a draft dodging pussy. Yup you heard me. The man who owns 350 guns and walks around dressed in army fatigues like he’s the Hillbilly version of Rambo went out of his way to avoid being drafted to Vietnam. Nugent’s closest experience with combat? Being allowed to man the 50 caliber machine gun on a helicopter when he visited the troops in Afghanistan. “Son…were you ever in the military?” “No sir…but I did stay at a Holiday Inn Express in the Iraqi green zone.”
Alveda King
I have to be honest. I didn’t know Alveda King was the niece of Martin Luther King Jr. I only found out about her because she was on Glenn Beck’s show yesterday promoting his “Restoring Honor” rally at the Lincoln Memorial on the anniversary of her uncle’s “I Have a Dream” speech. Honestly, this woman is so full of shit it oozes out of her ears. Just watch this video where she states her view on gay marriage.
You heard that right. A descendent of the great Martin Luther King, a man who preached tolerance and fought & died for Civil Rights, is advocating for the denial of rights for another minority group. And with such a ridiculous claim. “OMG…if gays get married…we won’t procreate and we’ll all go extinct” *taps shoulder* “You do know that even if they can’t get married, gays are still gay and still can’t naturally procreate.” Alveda King acts as if banning gay marriage will cause all the gays to come together and say “Hey people, we tried…they’re on to us. Guess we gotta go back to being straight now.” Come on. To spit such vile ridiculousness and then at the same time complain that she has no idea why she’s being met with such hate for supporting Glenn Beck’s rally shows a complete lack of awareness. Alveda King makes me wish Chappelle’s Racial Draft was real. I’d trade Alveda King for Tim Wise.
Al Sharpton
Oh you didn’t think I forgot about the other half of the Dynamic Duo of Civil Rights Ambulance chasers did you? Let’s ignore the fact that Sharpton’s hair looks like he’s spent 45 minutes in a high speed wind tunnel. Let’s even ignore the fact that he seems to pop up conveniently when the cameras are rolling. My biggest beef with Sharpton is that he seems to have strange friends that you would never associate him with. Remember when Bill O’Reilly made that comment about black people at Sylvia’s? Guess who Bill was having dinner with? Yup…Al Sharpton. Yesterday Beck said that while Sharpton is holding a “counter rally” that he actually respects Sharpton and Sharpton respects him and they talk all the time. Okay…pause. Respect? Come on. How do you have respect for a guy who did a hatchet job not only on Civil Rights but on slavery as too. “But Kriss, maybe Glenn Beck was lying.” Okay, that’s a possibility. As I’ve stated before, Beck stretches the truth. But I actually believe him. Why? Because this is what Sharpton does. He grandstands for the cameras but then when they’re off he does shit like have dinner with Bill O’Reilly (that’s not a one time thing). Sharpton is an opportunistic snake. I have no doubt that when the cameras and mics are off, he’s shaking hands, smiling and hugging all these same absurd Fox News bastards he “takes stands against.” Now in his defense maybe he’s trying to “convert them back to the light.” But as a wise man once said about hoes “Don’t be a captain they don’t want to be saved.”
Whale War’s Sea Shepherds
You know how PETA’s over the top antics make you want to eat a rhinoceros steak with 2 condor eggs on the side while drinking the tears of clubbed baby seals? Well the Sea Shepherds and their incompetence make me feel that way as well. After watching almost an entire season of Whale Wars, I’m actually rooting for the Japanese whalers. Sure the Japanese are douches and are killing whales but at least they are competent douches. To really appreciate the incompetence displayed by the Sea Shepherds, you first have to watch the South Park episode spoofing them. Watch it first because when you then watch the real thing, you’ll be surprised to find out that South Park wasn’t really spoofing them…they were just showing the real thing. When you’re out gunned, out manned and out funded, you have to at least have some pretty superior tactics…which they don’t have. Led by Paul Watson, the Sea Shepherd’s display a level of incompetence that makes Dan Synder look like a competent owner. The main ship the Shepherd’s use is called the Steve Irwin, named after a guy who died by taking a sting ray barb to the heart. No offense but that’s one of the dumbest ways you could die when you’re in that line of work. It’s like if Dale Earnhardt died not from hitting the wall at 160 mph during a NASCAR race but rather in a freak fender-bender accident in a school zone. And that’s the guy the Sea Shepherd’s named their flag ship after. Brilliant. This season the Sea Shepherds added 2 vessels to the Steve Irwin to form their “fleet”. A converted whaling ship called the “Bob Barker” (no comment) and then a smaller slicker updated ship called the Ady Gil. Now the Ady Gil had promise. It looked like something James Bond would use. And you know what? In the hands of James Bond it would probably be an awesome boat. In the hands of the incompetent Sea Shepherds, it ended up being a worthless piece of scrap metal at the bottom of the ocean by the middle of the season. And that’s the story of this entire season of Whale Wars. The Ady Gil gets sunk, the Bob Barker is always broken, they ruin a $100,000 dingy, they can’t lose the surveillance ship that’s tracking them and all the while the Japanese are going “Fucka u dolphin fucka u whale” (South Park reference for those of you too slow to get it). Add in random cuts of them sadly looking into the camera saying “we gotta save the whales” and you basically have an entire season of Whale Wars. Whales still die and after watching these incompetent fucks…you don’t care. Best part of the season is when after the Ady Gil gets sunk and a one of the crew members who was on board that was scheduled to go home and back to his real job gets told that they “have to save the whales” and he can’t be taken back to port. Faced with reality of losing his real job the crew member gets understandably upset and the pussy ass captain and his first mate talk to each other about how neither one of them can be around him alone out of fear of “what he might do.” I’m not kidding. These fools are really that limp wristed. Then again what do you expect from a bunch of fucks who think they can stop whaling armed with some jars of butyric acid and rotten potato launchers. These fools need to just suck it up and call Stan.
Topics for the show:
Wyclef gets disqualified from running to be Haiti’s President
Blago gets acquitted
Who was the 1 asshole on that jury?
What’s up with democrats shooting themselves in the foot?
Ed Schultz is just as bad as Beck
How stupid do you have to be to not vote?
Is Obama a Muslim? Hell no. Stop asking
Glenn Beck cherry picks history…again
We’re looking for writers for TheInsanityReport.com and guests for the Insanity Check Podcast. If you are interested, email us at InsanityCheck@theInsanityReport.com. Also hit us up if you’re good with graphic designs or music production (we’re looking for a new opening for the podcast). Join the Facebook Group for weekly updates on Facebook or follow us on Twitter.
Topics for the show:
This is pretty simple: 45 minutes of Kriss, Rodimus, Kev & Karen covering the latest Mel Gibson Tape
TheRoot.com and Glenn Beck as one of the blackest white guys they know
The Shirley Sherrod incident
We’re looking for writers for TheInsanityReport.com and guests for the Insanity Check Podcast. If you are interested, email us at InsanityCheck@theInsanityReport.com. Also hit us up if you’re good with graphic designs or music production (we’re looking for a new opening for the podcast). Join the Facebook Group for weekly updates on Facebook or follow us on Twitter.
Topics for the show:
Get Drunk Month is fast approaching
More problems for Toyota, Kriss thinks it’s a conspiracy
Did we miss an opportunity on the anniversary of Biggie’s death?
Lil Wayne’s going to jail and people are acting stupid
Erica Massa gets invited on the Glenn Beck’s show and crashes and burns
Virginia’s politicians seem to be supportive of discrimination of gays. Oh joy
Survival Seeds…cause well, fuck it right?
We’re looking for writers for TheInsanityReport.com and guests for the Insanity Check Podcast. If you are interested, email us at InsanityCheck@theInsanityReport.com. Also hit us up if you’re good with graphic designs or music production (we’re looking for a new opening for the podcast). Join the Facebook Group for weekly updates on Facebook or follow us on Twitter.
Topics for the show:
151 & Redbull = the devil in a shot glass
Tiger Wood apologizes…Kriss doesn’t care about Tiger Woods
Gloria Allred stages a press conference with one of Tiger’s mistresses and demands an apology from Tiger Woods
Jumpoffs don’t have rights, there is no “Side Piece contract”
The media should be ashamed at itself for caring more about scandal & train wrecks than actual real news
Flying a plane into a government building = terrorism
CPAC and the sea of hypocrisy
Also, I’ve been playing music from Jaxx’s “Death of Jay Titty” mixtape. Download the mixtape from here.
We’re looking for writers for TheInsanityReport.com and guests for the Insanity Check Podcast. If you are interested, email us at InsanityCheck@theInsanityReport.com. Also hit us up if you’re good with graphic designs or music production (we’re looking for a new opening for the podcast). Join the Facebook Group for weekly updates on Facebook or follow us on Twitter.
Topics for the show:
Adrian Fenty’s reelection campaign slogan “At least I didn’t smoke crack”
Marion Barry back in trouble
The We Are the World Remake and how horrible it is
Utah decides that maybe the 12th grade isn’t necessary for our kids
Chinese dieters are using parasites to “get thin quick”
A recap on “do-it-yourself” plastic surgery
Glen Beck and Republicans pull the greatest Magic Trick ever on the Middle Class
Turns out…the Stimulus Package actually worked
Republicans and their hypocrisy on the Stimulus
Evan Bayh goes all ‘cry baby’
The Military, Women and Rape….a sad story
Also, I’ve been playing music from Jaxx’s “Death of Jay Titty” mixtape. Download the mixtape from here.
We’re looking for writers for TheInsanityReport.com and guests for the Insanity Check Podcast. If you are interested, email us at InsanityCheck@theInsanityReport.com. Also hit us up if you’re good with graphic designs or music production (we’re looking for a new opening for the podcast). Join the Facebook Group for weekly updates on Facebook or follow us on Twitter.
of her color. I don’t agree with that unless you’re talking about the color and amount of her money. What I always find funny (and sad because it usually works) are the excuses the super privileged make when they get caught doing something illegal. Hilton is claiming that the bag of coke found in HER purse…doesn’t belong to her. The purse itself…her’s. The $1300 in cash…her’s. The credit cards…her’s. The ROLLING PAPERS…her’s. But the small amount of cocaine? “Well no officer…that’s obviously not mine.” Can you imagine Paris trying to use that excuse if she wasn’t a trust fund baby? Yeah she would be laughed out of court and into a jail cell. I actually think we should just start paying celebrities in drugs. Well, maybe not all of their salary, but at least half. “For this movie we’ll give you $2 million and a kilo of coke” Why not? They’re going to do drugs anyway because they self medicate for all the fucked up mental issues they have but don’t address. And when caught they don’t go to jail unless they’re just super out of control with it…like DMX. Lohan doesn’t count because, she barely spent time in prison.
