First things first.  I don’t know if the rumors are true.  I don’t know if Tiger Wood’s statement that he just had a simple accident and there was no fight with his wife is true.  I don’t know if TMZ’s account, that there was a fight over Wood’s infidelity is correct.  Honestly, I couldn’t care less which is true.  It’s really none of my business and has absolutely no effect on my life. People are saying “This proves Tiger Wood’s is human”.  Actually, it really doesn’t.  I still think Tiger Woods is some kind of golf playing cyborg sent from the future.  When it comes to his personal life, of course he displays human tendencies and weaknesses.  Who doesn’t?  Even the T-800 displayed fatal human flaws.  People need to learn to stop elevating celebrities to superhuman status.  They breathe, eat, shit and fuck just like everyone else.  If you somehow want to use this incident as some kind of way of taking a jab at Woods for being black and marrying a white woman…kill yourself.  Let’s keep it real.  If Tiger Woods was Tyrone Woodson and he wasn’t a golfing phenom but instead a mild mannered accountant…would most black woman raise holy hell if he married a white woman?  Of course not.  Black woman only care that Woods married a white woman, not because his wife is white, but because she gets to cash Woods’ checks and not them.  Of course most of those same women wouldn’t think twice about marrying a rich white guy who pampered them.  But I’ll save that case of woman hypocrisy for a later discussion.

Anyway, the real reason I’m bringing up this Tiger Woods story is that I want to talk about the hypocritical way some people, particularly women, are treating the alleged case of domestic violence compared to the Chris Brown/Rihanna case.  Let’s assume for a moment that his wife Elin did swing at him with a golf club. I’m sorry, but I don’t care if Woods admitted to having a threesome with Elin’s mother AND sister as her best friend videotaped it, that does not excuse her from swinging a golf club at the man.  Think about it for a minute.  What Chris Brown did to Rihanna was horrible and inexcusable…but even he only used his fists (and teeth…).  This woman allegedly swung a metal rod with a weighted end at another human being.  That’s assault with a deadly weapon.  Women are trying to excuse it because apparently Woods was cheating.  Ummmm…so what?  You still can’t swing a golf club at the head of your husband simply because you think he was unfaithful.  Sorry, but that’s unacceptable.  I can understand screaming at him.  I can even understand an impulsive slap in the face.  But swinging a golf club?  Come on.

Even crazier are the women who think that it’s okay for a scorned woman to swing a golf club at a cheating husband but that it’s not okay if a husband retaliates and defends himself by knocking the woman out.  Whoa, how does that logic work?  A woman slaps me, okay, as a man who is physically stronger than her, I should know that it’s best for me to walk away.  But if I’m trying to walk away and she swings a baseball bat, golf club or even a knife at me, you better believe I’m going to defend myself.  Head trauma can be deadly.  Even something like a frying pan to the head can cause serious damage.  This isn’t something to laugh or joke about.  Once a woman picks up a weapon and swings at a man, not to protect herself from him but because she got upset with him over some bullshit, the playing field is even.  Come at me with bad intentions like that and no amount of Maxwell is gonna save your ass.  Women can’t scream bloody murder about Chris Brown but then cheer on a woman committing assault with a deadly weapon.  Not only is it hypocritical but its giving bad advice to millions of women out there.  Seriously ladies, come at a man like you’re a man and don’t be surprised when he has you doing the stanky legg like Machida did to Rashad Evans.

Come at a man like a man and this could be you ladies...

Listen, I won’t say that hitting another human being is inexcusable.  In a perfect world that would be true.  In a perfect world, women wouldn’t hit men and men wouldn’t hit women.  But we don’t live in a Utopian world and I won’t pretend like we do.  Sometimes a person is being such an unbelievable douchebag that they deserve a punch in the nose.  Take that gay dirty douche Perez Hilton and the incident he had with Will.I.Am.  Was a gangland style beating necessary?  No.  A punch in the eye socket?  Yes.  If someone was to call my mother out of her name, yes, I’d punch them in the throat.  If a lady is being harassed by some asshole in the club, calling her a bitch and making unwanted sexual advances, she has every right to knee him in the nuts.  Yeah, in all those cases, cooler heads should prevail and the “correct” response is probably to walk away.  But again, we are all human.  Impulsive reactions happen.  But I draw the line at obvious extremes.  Beating a woman’s face in because she had the “audacity” to not have your dinner ready?  Unacceptable.  Swinging a weapon at your husband because you think he’s cheating?  Unacceptable.  Getting angry at your significant other and beating them relentlessly until their face is disfigured?  Unacceptable.  I understand there’s gray area.  That’s why I’m not willing to label a man who pops a woman in her mouth after she tries to verbally emasculate him in public as a woman beater.  Its why I understand why a woman who just caught her husband cheating on her might end up slapping him across his face.  But as with everything, there’s a time when an understandable reaction goes entirely too far and becomes extreme.  A golf club to the head falls into that extreme category.  If women want to really take a stand against domestic violence then they should be willing to do so regardless if the agressor is a woman or a man.

I really didn’t want to do this.  No really.  I actually like addressing real news, like the battle over Universal Health Care, the upcoming throw down with Judge Sotomayor’s confirmation hearing, the troop withdrawal in Iraq or foreign policy strategies with Iran and North Korea.  But after seeing how many seemingly educated people have been bitching about not seeing Chris Brown perform a Michael Jackson tribute at the Buffoonery Entertainment Television Awards this past Sunday, I have to speak out.  Now, first things first.  I understand that humans have infinitesimally short memories.  I understand that I’m in the minority of people that avoids making emotionally rash decisions 99.9% of the time.  However, I think it’s completely inexcusable that so many people are seemingly brushing off the fact that Chris Brown beat a woman, plead guilty and is now a felon.  I’m going to break down some of the arguments people are using to downplay what this idiot did because I think in reading back their arguments and how stupid I make them seem, it’ll finally sink in:

“He’s been punished by the courts.  That’s good enough for me”
Wrong.  Chris Brown hasn’t yet been punished by the courts.  On Tuesday June 23, Chris Brown pleaded guilty to felony assault charges.  He accepted a plea deal of community labor, 5 years formal probation and the judge threw in Domestic violence counseling (amazingly that wasn’t part of the plea deal) and a stay away order.  He won’t be formally sentenced until August 5^th.  That means at the EARLIEST, he starts serving his debt to society on August 5^th.  The BET Awards was this past Sunday, June 28^th.  Its not even close to being logical to say that he’s paid his debt to society.  When you’re punished for a crime, the punishment should make you regret the crime.  Being able to perform in front of a bunch of screaming, brainwashed girls and your peers that do the same fucked up repugnant shit isn’t a punishment.  Not to mention, when you break society’s rules, not only does the court punish you but so does the public.  Chris Brown’s only getting a pass because he’s an entertain.  Joe Blow woman beater is looked at as a despicable human being yet Chris Brown is a “kid who made a mistake.”  GTFOH.

“Well, nobody says anything when [Name of some asshole that's done some fucked up repugnant shit that people now overlook] performs”
Hearing grown, intelligent folks use the “But he did it too” excuse rots my brain.  You either went to or are currently attending college, yet you’re using an argument from 2^nd grade to argue for a woman beater.  Just because people stupidly gave someone else a pass doesn’t mean we need to keep the cycle going.  Using that logic, next time someone beats a woman and wants to perform we’d then say “But we let Chris Brown perform.”  At some point you have to say, enough is enough.  Refusing to change behavior is why companies fail, Civil Rights get ignored and why we as a people have such a hard time moving forward.  Stop contributing to that behavior.  I’ll say it.  No, Don Cornelius shouldn’t have been at the BET Awards either.

“No one else could do a proper Michael Jackson tribute.  I hate what he did but he’s the only option”
Is a Michael Jackson tribute for Michael, to give tribute to his life’s work and achievements in the realm of music, or is it for your own personal entertainment? I find it mentally lazy to say that the only way to give tribute to Michael would be to give a free pass to a man who beat a woman horribly and pleaded guilty not even a week before the awards show.  Sure, is Chris Brown the closest, big name dancer to Michael’s dancing abilities?  Probably.  Would he have done a great job?  No doubt.  Does that mean we should overlook the fact that he beat a woman?  HELL FUCKING NO.  Your own personal selfishness in wanting to see some form of entertainment shouldn’t be an excuse to overlook the fact that what Chris Brown did was horrible and that he shouldn’t be rewarded with giving a tribute to the World’s Greatest Entertainer.  It shouldn’t be mental exhausting to see how doing such a thing sends the message that what Chris Brown did was “okay”.  A classy musical tribute with a video montage would have been just as good.  The biggest problem with BET doing a Michael Tribute was that people with actual talent, that could have done him justice, already decided to say “Fuck you” to BET.  John Legend and Stevie Wonder would have been excellent choices for doing a song or two to give tribute to MJ but they were at their own concert.  Usher was overseas and couldn’t make it back in time.  The problem wasn’t that Chris Brown couldn’t perform, it was that BET doesn’t have the pulling power to make sure that big name stars (with actual talent) are going to be at their awards show.  So when faced with putting together something last minute, they failed.  Even if Chris Brown did a tribute, the BET Awards would have still been coonish.  Not only that but then Brown would have been rewarded for his behavior and we would have sent yet another example of how easily we forgive people just because they have talent (See Mike Vick, T.I. and everyone else that committed a crime and we overlooked).

“He should still be allowed to work and perform because that’s his job”
If I commit a felony, not only will I lose my security clearance, but I’ll lose my job.  AFTER serving out my sentence, I’d probably have an extremely hard time getting back into my field.  Truth is, no company with a good reputation wants to hire a felon.  Period.  Maybe its wrong to make it hard for felons to get back to work, but it’s a pretty good deterrent that keeps me from committing a felony. “If you can’t do the time (and all the negative things that come with it) don’t do the motherfucking crime.”  Now I understand in the Entertainment industry a criminal record is like getting a good recommendation from a former boss.  That doesn’t mean we as a society should find that acceptable.  Hell, if a teacher is caught fucking one of their students…they can’t be a teacher again after they get out of jail can they?  Chris Brown didn’t just beat a woman, he beat a fellow entertainer.  So no, he shouldn’t be allowed to work again in the industry.  Other entertainers should band together and say “No, we don’t want to work with him.  We don’t work with woman beaters.”  But since we don’t hold anyone accountable…that’s not going to happen.

“Rihanna didn’t testify, we don’t know the whole story”/”The Punishment is too harsh”
He pleaded guilty.  Rihanna didn’t need to testify.  If there was any significant thing missing from the story, I think Chris Brown’s attorney’s would have said something.  You don’t just plead out to a felony.  And as far as it being too harsh.  Paris Hilton spent more time in jail for drunk driving than Chris Brown did for beating a woman.  And the funny thing is, when Paris went to jail, all the black folks were bitching about how light her sentence was.  SMH.

“He made a mistake in his personal life.”/” We can’t judge him. Only God can judge him”/ “I’m sure he’s learned his lesson.  We should all just move on.”
I’m holding back from telling anyone that’s ever said this or anything like it to go kill themselves.  First off, beating a woman ISN’T a mistake.  That’s a calculated act of violence.  Hell, beating ANYONE is a calculated act of violence.  I even said it in my Perez Hilton post that while the douchebag deserved to get his asswhooped, Will.I.Am’s manager was criminally wrong.  We’re human beings, not wild animals on the plains of Africa.  Sure, in the Animal Kingdom, random acts of violence are not only common place, its written into the bylaws of the Jungle Book.  However, in human society, that shit is wrong.  I think plenty of people need their asses whooped, but I don’t do that.  Why?  Because I know that with that comes a set of consequences.  Chris Brown not only beat Rihanna but threatened to KILL HER.  Again, that’s not a mistake.  A mistake is forgetting to put on the same color socks or leaving your coffee mug on the top of your car.  He only apologized and feels bad because he got caught and that shit threatened to affect his cash flow.  Secondly, that “We can’t judge him, only God can” line is bullshit.  We judge all the time.  There’s NO ONE out there that doesn’t judge.  We use that bullshit ass line from the Bible when we want to hand the responsibility off to someone else.  It’s easier to say “Only God can judge” than it is to say “I really like this guy’s dancing abilities and music, but I just can’t support him any more”.  But wait, in this case, we don’t have to.  Why?  Because we have a criminal justice system and Chris Brown pleaded guilty.  There’s no judging necessary.  He’s guilty.  Yes, maybe I’m harsh for saying that when you commit a felony, you shouldn’t be allowed to work in your field again.  But you know what?  Whose fault is that?  Chris Brown knew he was doing something wrong and he had a blatant disrespect for the laws of society.  Fuck him and anyone else who wants to excuse that behavior.  If Rihanna was your sister, you’re LYING to yourself if you say you wouldn’t feel bad if the man who beat your sister was back to doing concerts and selling records.  Like I said, this is just a way for you to avoid having to make the tough decision not to support someone any more.  There are ways to keep the music you like but not support the criminal that made it. Hell, I have R. Kelly on my IPod.  But I didn’t pay a dime for any of his music.  Stop being lazy and irresponsible.

I’ll end with this.  Domestic violence is real.  Most of us know someone who is either currently or in the past a victim of domestic violence.  It’s appalling that so many of us would turn our backs on that fact just because we think Chris Brown is a good dancer and entertainer.  They say if you don’t stand for anything, you fall for everything.  Right now we’re falling…hard.

Barring any major developments in the Chris Brown/Rihanna saga, this will hopefully be my last mentioning of these two idiots.  Honestly, I can’t waste any more of my time or energy on a woman who goes back to the man who beat her.  It’s 2009 now people.  We all know the statistics.  Men who beat woman and get away with it are likely to do it again.  Considering the reports that this wasn’t the first time Chris Brown put his hands on her, Rihanna is even dumber for sticking it out.

But that’s not what article is going to be about.  No, I want this article to be more about why we as a community are so forgiving when it comes to incidents like this.  Women, who you would expect to rally to Rihanna’s support, have said “She probably deserved it” or that she “Provoked him.”  You have other celebrities like P. Diddy letting Chris Brown and Rihanna use his home to reconcile or Akon who came out recently and said that he would still work with Chris Brown.  Huh?  Since when was working with a woman beater a sound career connection?  There is no doubt as to whether Chris Brown beat Rihanna.  This isn’t like the O.J., MJ or even R. Kelly cases where there’s “reasonable” doubt.  We know flat out what Chris Brown did, yet people are willing to look the other way.  I turn on the radio and in one instance, radio personalities are talking about how we need to speak out against domestic violence but then they turn around and play a Chris Brown or Rihanna song.  Is it me or doesn’t that send the message that in certain circumstances you can get away with assaulting a woman?  It seems hypocritical.  “We’re appalled by what Chris Brown did…now here’s ‘Take you Down by Chris Brown.”  What a joke.

I also started thinking about something else.  When that idiot Don Imus made that ignorant comment about “Nappy Headed Hoes”, people marched, protested, raised a huge stink and not only tried to get him off the air but went after his advertisers.  Why aren’t we doing the same thing with Chris Brown?  Don Imus made an ignorant comment…Chris Brown put a woman in a hospital.  It’s not even in the same ballpark, yet people seemed to get more upset by a few ignorant words rather than a woman having her face rearranged.  Some people were even upset that some of Brown’s sponsors dropped him.  Are you kidding me?

What if Chris Brown was white?  Would people react different if it was a white man that beat Rihanna?  Would it then finally sink in to Chris Brown fans and Rihanna haters (hell, I don’t like the chick’s music but even I felt bad for her before she let that idiot back into her life) how wrong it is to give this guy some support?  I really think that’s it.  Think about it.  If R. Kelly was white and had sex with a 14 year old black girl do you think radio stations would have played nothing but R. Kelly after he was acquitted?  Or would they have raised bloody murder?  If Justin Timberlake had beat up his black girlfriend, would we as a community sit back and say “But he makes good music?”  I highly doubt it.  I understand that we as a people want to see our brothers and sister succeed, but that doesn’t mean we should turn a blind eye when one of our own clearly fucks up.  Chris Brown should be “persona non grata” in the music world right now.  He should be toxic to anyone that even THINKS about working with him.  But we know that won’t happen.  That’s too much like right.  It would require people actually having some principles and acting on them.  So this will be rationalized (”It’s a personal issue between them”) and forgotten.  It’s much easier to do inconsequential things like “boycott” a newspaper you already aren’t reading or threaten to stop listening to a show you’ve never heard of or applaud a funeral for a word.  None of that requires any real work and therefore, this will continue.

I’ve said it before, I’ll say it again.  Our society is messed up.  Our priorities are all jacked up.  Sadly, I think people are too lazy to change that. Seriously, if you’ve ever said “But [insert celebrity that did something fucked up] makes good music or plays [insert sport] really well” and continue to support them, you’re just as much a part of the problem as they are. President Obama said it himself “Change comes from within.” If you can’t condone their actions then you can’t support the person. Stop trying to rationalize it. It’s like saying a prayer right before you jump into an orgy.

I love the ladies.  I really do.  I know sometimes I can be harsh or seemingly insensitive with some of the things I say but it’s really all out of love.  A lot of times women, acting on their emotions, tend to shut out what I’m saying not because what I’m saying is wrong but because they don’t “feel” that I should be right.  For instance, let’s look at this “Extreme Empowerment” trend that has been going on for well over a decade.  Honestly, it all started with Waiting to Exhale and Angela Basset burning her cheating man’s car.  It was at that moment that women around the world thought to themselves “Yeah!!!  I can do that too”  and they all thought they could now be Xena Warrior Princess.  I’m willing to bet money that domestic violence cases around the globe skyrocketed after 1995.  Sometimes a woman’s emotions don’t match up with reality.  I was having a conversation a few months back with some ladies and we were talking about the Jasmine Sullivan song “Bust Your Windows.”  I told them that song was going to get some poor girl killed.  She’ll listen to that song, think she can do it too, bust out her man’s windows and then get beaten like a UFC fighter with one hand tied behind his back.  I’m not saying it’s right nor am I condoning it, but if you step out of line, not every man is going to control his temper and his fists.  See, physics teaches us that every action has an opposite and equal reaction…however, ladies…you cannot apply physics to this situation.  In this situation, your actions can and sometimes do have an opposition and hugely disproportional reaction.  See, most times you’ll end up dating the rational guy who after seeing that you destroyed his property, he might  verbally assault and he’ll definitely be pissed…but he’ll refrain from providing you free delivery of a two piece to the dome.  However, you run the risk of dealing with the wrong dude who takes the baseball bat from you and then starts beating you worse than the Joker did to Robin in the “Death in the Family” storyline (nerd alert).

This post was brought on by the leaked Police Report in the Chris Brown/Rihanna saga.  Apparently the fight started when Rihanna read off a text message from Brown’s phone.  Brown then proceeded to whoop her ass while she was strapped into the seat next to him.  Now while I do think it’s wrong for a woman to go through a man’s personal property, I understand that it’s going to happen.  So, ladies…if you are going to do that…or something even more aggressive (burning clothes, slashing tires, etc.), you need to make sure you have an exit strategy.  Take Rihanna’s situation.  If you’re going to read off messages from a dude’s phone, you need to 1.  Make sure you’re not within arm’s reach and 2.  Make sure you’re not in a moving car.  Because if dude does start flipping out, which Chris did, you have nowhere to escape.  Now if you do decide to confront your man, make sure you use the buddy system.  And I don’t mean bringing your best friend who thinks she can take a guy.  Most guys can take two women down with ease.  I’m not trying to brag or start some kind of argument, I’m keeping it real.  You need to bring a pack…at least 5 girls with you.  Yeah, I know. You’ve been watching the Billy Blanks videos and you think that you can fight.  Trust me, it’s a whole new ball game when you get punched in the jaw.  All those “Left punch Left punch Right punch….KICK!!!” combos evaporate when dude has you in a head lock and is raining down punches on you.  If you bring 5 of your girlfriends though for backup, there’s less likely to be a problem.  In the same respect, take a real self defense class.  Not the ones at your local Gold’s Gym.  Find a Krav Maga class somewhere and learn how to really protect yourself.  You’ll still need to use the buddy system but it’ll also help in cases when you are caught all alone.

Again, I’m not condoning violence against women or even trying to make fun of it.  I’m just warning women to be mindful of their surroundings when they are confronting their man or when they are thinking about getting some “payback.”  Sitting in a moving car, strapped in tight with your seatbelt is probably NOT the best time to rile up a dude that has put his hands on you in the past.  Rihanna’s lucky all she escaped with were some bruises (Although the fact that she’s back with this bamma let’s me know that maybe he caused some brain damage).  Others aren’t so lucky.

Oh I’m going to catch some heat for this one.  Honestly though, I don’t care.  When I first heard the rumors that Rihanna was forgiving Chris Brown and they were going to “work out” their issues, I was very skeptical.  First off, I don’t believe rumor whores like Wendy Williams or anyone else that just goes off of what some anonymous source says without any proof.  Rihanna not filing criminal charges was not proof to me because as I’ve said before, as a celebrity you sometimes want to stay out of court because that can open up a whole new world of publicity that you don’t want.  Also after seeing the police photo, I thought to myself “There’s not enough flowers, chocolate or diamonds in the world to excuse that.”  Well, turns out that once again I’ve underestimated the stupidity of your typical human being.  While there still might not be solid proof, between the sources that say the two “love birds” were staying in P. Diddy’s Miami beach house (now they are back in L.A.) and the picture of Chris Brown having a good time on a jet ski down there, I’d say it’s a pretty safe bet that the two are back together.  And with that I add Rihanna to my already long list of dumb bitches. You’d think the extra large size of her forehead would mean more brain capacity but apparently they space is filled with either air or packing peanuts.

Domestic abuse is horrible and wrong.  However, I for one am not one of those people that will sit there and continue to be supportive and understanding to someone who hops right back into the same situation.  Sorry, can’t do it.  I know there will be some people out there, some who were victims of violence themselves who will say that she’s young and still in love with Chris and thinks that she can really work it out with them.  On the podcast I even talked to Dylan about it and he said that her and Chris are still kids and that they don’t know any better.  I don’t buy it.  At our core, we humans are like ever other creature on this earth.  We have natural instincts that are set to make sure we protect ourselves from harm.  Going back to her abuser goes against natural instincts.  It’s retarded.  If you put your hand on a hot stove and get burned, do you willingly do it a second or third time?  No of course not and if someone does you look at them like they are an idiot.  But when Rihanna or your best friend or your mom or you sister repeatedly goes back to the guy who used their face as a punching bag, we’re supposed to be “comforting” and give “support”.  Sorry, I won’t be the one you want to come to for support.  If this is the second, third, fourth or whatever time this guy has put his hands on you, I will call you an idiot.  As a matter of fact, if you go back to a guy that’s already hit you once, I will assume you have some kind of thing for that kind of abuse.  It’s the only thing that explains why you would willingly put yourself in that situation.  The first time, okay, I understand that sometimes you don’t see the signs.  But when you go back yet again, I can only assume you have the mental capacity of a milk dud.  If you return to your abuser you deserve what happens to you after that.  It’s like those fools that hop into the cages of bears and lions at the zoo and then wonder why their faces get eaten off. If you willingly put yourself in a bad situation, expect bad things to happen.

It’s 2009 people.  We’ve heard the stories of Tina, Halle, Whitney and every other woman out there that were beaten, verbally assaulted or had their careers dragged down by some no good fucktard of a guy.  After all this time everyone should be well aware that the “But he loves me and I love him” excuse isn’t valid for these situations.  “Love Conquers All” only applies to Disney Fairy Tales and Lifetime Movies.  Get with reality.

This show doesn’t go as expected. We have 2 specials guests in the studio with Kriss and Dylan: CPR (Conservative Puerto Rican) and MzPurp. We attempt to have serious conversations about the Recession, Domestic Violence and the Peanut salmonella crisis….but as usually we just can’t keep the discussion from going south. Just remember, the Insanity Report does not support domestic violence…but we are a bunch of assholes…so….

We’re looking for writers for TheInsanityReport.com and guests for the Insanity Check Podcast. If you are interested, email us at InsanityCheck@theInsanityReport.com. Also hit us up if you’re good with graphic designs or music production (we’re looking for a new opening for the podcast). Join the Facebook Fan page or follow us on Twitter.

Chris Brown and Rihanna
So everyone is speculating and spreading rumors about what actually caused Chris Brown to channel his inner Ike Turner.  Did she start the fight?  Was it because she told him that she gave him herpes?  Forget a tattoo, it can be removed.  You give your loved one herpes and that screams “lifetime commitment”.  Or maybe he spent all day slaving over a hot stove baking a cake and Rihanna just wouldn’t eat it?  The truth is…I don’t care enough to take this seriously.  First off, Chris Brown sounds like a bitch.  Not just because he beat Rihanna but because he bit her.  Bite marks?  Come on.  Biting is only acceptable in cat fights (two women) or Mike Tyson boxing matches (Boxing would be so much more exciting if Iron Mike was back in the ring).  Now to be fair I don’t think there have been any accurate reports as to the injuries Rihanna suffered.  I mean, the same reports that stated she had bite marks also said she had significant swelling on her forehead.  Come on now…we all know that Rihanna’s forehead is so big it has it’s own gravitational pull.  I refuse to believe that little Chris Breezy went incredible Hulk and caused even more swelling to that noggin.  That’s physically impossible.  The silver lining in all this is, neither one of them can make new music anytime soon so us true music aficionados can at least take some solace in that…WTF

Kanye West Speaks on Rihanna situation
You know America’s gayest rapper, Kanye West had to come out and speak on the whole situation:

“She has the potential to be, you know, the greatest artist of all time and, in that sense, I feel like [she is] my baby sis,” added West. “I would do any and everything to help her in any situation.”

Hold on Kanye.  Let me fix that sentence for you:  “”She has the potential to be, you know, the greatest mediocre artist of all time”.  There we go.  That’s better…WTF

LA White Bentley Car Chase
This was a crazy week.  After Chris Brown posted bail and was released, on Monday there was a slow speed car chase (Isn’t that a fucking oxymoron?) involving a white Bentley.  First people thought it might have been Chris Brown.  Then there was speculation that it was DJ Khaled.  Turns out it was just some business man who was suspected of assaulting his girlfriend with a deadly weapon.  After leading police around LA for 3 hours at FORTY MILES PER HOUR, the man then pulled out a gun and shot himself.  First off I don’t know what the LAPD was doing letting this fucker get away with wasting hours of their time and taxpayers money only to let him shoot himself at the end.  He was only going 40 mph…I’ve seen cops take out cars going 90 mph.  Pull up beside the car and shoot the tires out.  The cops in GTA wouldn’t have let that shit slide.  Also let me say that with the Chris Brown/Rihanna thing and this incident seeming to have involved some form of domestic violence, it’s really not a good week to be leading up into Valentines Day now is it?…WTF

Stimulate the Economy with Valentines Day
Speaking of Valentines Day, I’ve figured out a way to stimulate the economy.  President Obama should make Valentines Day a Federal Holiday and extend it to three days.  Men will then be forced to buy their significant others pointless, yet expensive material expressions of their “love” thereby stimulating the economy.  Seriously, its no secret that I’ve never been a fan of Valentines Day.  Its just another day for women to get men to spend a shit load of time and money on them.  Restaurants jack up prices and Hallmark only really exists for this day.  No one can ever really give a legitimate reason why we need to celebrate it.  Men only do because they are afraid of the wraith of their significant other and for women it’s like another Christmas so they aren’t going to complain.  So the cycle will continue.  Ba-humbug… oh wait…that’s for an actually legitimate holiday…WTF

Octuplets mother
I was trying my hardest to avoid giving my opinion on the mother of the octuplets but I just can’t hold my tongue any longer.  The tagline on this site is “There’s too much crazy stuff going on” and well, when you have a doctor implanting embryos into a mother of 6 who is living off of food stamps…well, it just doesn’t get any crazier.  First off, I think it’s pretty clear that Nadya Suleman has some psychological issues.  What sane mother of 6 goes to a fertility doctor?  You can’t get more fertile than this bitch’s womb.  So obviously she’s bat shit crazy.  So I blame the doctor.  He was obviously the adult in this matter and I can’t see how he’s able to keep his license for performing the implant when this bitch already has 6 children she can barely take care of.  She’s receiving food stamps and child disability for 3 of the previous 6.  Now she has 8 more.  14 kids.  FOURTEEN.  And she’s not married (She talks to the biological father, i.e. sperm donor, twice a year…).  Michael Steele is going to make her the new mascot for the Republican party.  That’ll rally his base….WTF

Henrietta Hughes
Even an asshole like me chokes up over something like this.

Phelp’s Bong put on Ebay for 100k
This is almost as retarded as the cop that stole weed and then called 911 for “overdosing”.  Almost…WTF