First things first. I don’t know if the rumors are true. I don’t know if Tiger Wood’s statement that he just had a simple accident and there was no fight with his wife is true. I don’t know if TMZ’s account, that there was a fight over Wood’s infidelity is correct. Honestly, I couldn’t care less which is true. It’s really none of my business and has absolutely no effect on my life. People are saying “This proves Tiger Wood’s is human”. Actually, it really doesn’t. I still think Tiger Woods is some kind of golf playing cyborg sent from the future. When it comes to his personal life, of course he displays human tendencies and weaknesses. Who doesn’t? Even the T-800 displayed fatal human flaws. People need to learn to stop elevating celebrities to superhuman status. They breathe, eat, shit and fuck just like everyone else. If you somehow want to use this incident as some kind of way of taking a jab at Woods for being black and marrying a white woman…kill yourself. Let’s keep it real. If Tiger Woods was Tyrone Woodson and he wasn’t a golfing phenom but instead a mild mannered accountant…would most black woman raise holy hell if he married a white woman? Of course not. Black woman only care that Woods married a white woman, not because his wife is white, but because she gets to cash Woods’ checks and not them. Of course most of those same women wouldn’t think twice about marrying a rich white guy who pampered them. But I’ll save that case of woman hypocrisy for a later discussion.
Anyway, the real reason I’m bringing up this Tiger Woods story is that I want to talk about the hypocritical way some people, particularly women, are treating the alleged case of domestic violence compared to the Chris Brown/Rihanna case. Let’s assume for a moment that his wife Elin did swing at him with a golf club. I’m sorry, but I don’t care if Woods admitted to having a threesome with Elin’s mother AND sister as her best friend videotaped it, that does not excuse her from swinging a golf club at the man. Think about it for a minute. What Chris Brown did to Rihanna was horrible and inexcusable…but even he only used his fists (and teeth…). This woman allegedly swung a metal rod with a weighted end at another human being. That’s assault with a deadly weapon. Women are trying to excuse it because apparently Woods was cheating. Ummmm…so what? You still can’t swing a golf club at the head of your husband simply because you think he was unfaithful. Sorry, but that’s unacceptable. I can understand screaming at him. I can even understand an impulsive slap in the face. But swinging a golf club? Come on.
Even crazier are the women who think that it’s okay for a scorned woman to swing a golf club at a cheating husband but that it’s not okay if a husband retaliates and defends himself by knocking the woman out. Whoa, how does that logic work? A woman slaps me, okay, as a man who is physically stronger than her, I should know that it’s best for me to walk away. But if I’m trying to walk away and she swings a baseball bat, golf club or even a knife at me, you better believe I’m going to defend myself. Head trauma can be deadly. Even something like a frying pan to the head can cause serious damage. This isn’t something to laugh or joke about. Once a woman picks up a weapon and swings at a man, not to protect herself from him but because she got upset with him over some bullshit, the playing field is even. Come at me with bad intentions like that and no amount of Maxwell is gonna save your ass. Women can’t scream bloody murder about Chris Brown but then cheer on a woman committing assault with a deadly weapon. Not only is it hypocritical but its giving bad advice to millions of women out there. Seriously ladies, come at a man like you’re a man and don’t be surprised when he has you doing the stanky legg like Machida did to Rashad Evans.
Come at a man like a man and this could be you ladies...
Listen, I won’t say that hitting another human being is inexcusable. In a perfect world that would be true. In a perfect world, women wouldn’t hit men and men wouldn’t hit women. But we don’t live in a Utopian world and I won’t pretend like we do. Sometimes a person is being such an unbelievable douchebag that they deserve a punch in the nose.  Take that gay dirty douche Perez Hilton and the incident he had with Will.I.Am. Was a gangland style beating necessary? No. A punch in the eye socket? Yes. If someone was to call my mother out of her name, yes, I’d punch them in the throat. If a lady is being harassed by some asshole in the club, calling her a bitch and making unwanted sexual advances, she has every right to knee him in the nuts. Yeah, in all those cases, cooler heads should prevail and the “correct” response is probably to walk away. But again, we are all human. Impulsive reactions happen. But I draw the line at obvious extremes. Beating a woman’s face in because she had the “audacity” to not have your dinner ready? Unacceptable. Swinging a weapon at your husband because you think he’s cheating? Unacceptable. Getting angry at your significant other and beating them relentlessly until their face is disfigured? Unacceptable. I understand there’s gray area. That’s why I’m not willing to label a man who pops a woman in her mouth after she tries to verbally emasculate him in public as a woman beater. Its why I understand why a woman who just caught her husband cheating on her might end up slapping him across his face. But as with everything, there’s a time when an understandable reaction goes entirely too far and becomes extreme. A golf club to the head falls into that extreme category. If women want to really take a stand against domestic violence then they should be willing to do so regardless if the agressor is a woman or a man.
December 1st, 2009 at 11:36 am
Agree. All your points are strong about the hypocrisy with domestic violence. I have said it time & time again – if you hit a man, don’t get mad if he hits you back. And women take no blame when they abuse men. I grew up around it. My grandma beat my granddad’s ass all the time, not cool. Cant support that.
But I have to address the fact that you said ” Black woman only care that Woods married a white woman, not because his wife is white, but because she gets to cash Woods’ checks and not them ” as someone who gets upset when I see ANY black dude with a white wife. I disagree. Tiger has made it clear he does not date black women, why? I hate when who discriminate on their own kind. You may not want to be claimed as black, but you are. And there is a disproportionate number of black male athletes how have married OTHER. WHY? Don’t give me that “there are no eligible sisters out there crap”. If i here that TIRED line one more time. I dislike men who strictly date white women plain and simple.
December 1st, 2009 at 12:05 pm
This was an awesome post!
Yes, there is a double standard as you exposed and it is ridiculous that it even exists. But hey, that’s Black folks for you. We’re the most finicky group around.
December 1st, 2009 at 1:00 pm
I couldn’t agree more with the hypocrisy about domestic violence. Per Cleo’s point about the interracial dating…..I appreciate you making the distinction between a ‘preference’ and ‘ignorant discrimination’. I am all for ‘preference’ but not because every one else isn’t good enough. I like my women petite doesn’t mean that big girls aren’t good women lol.
December 1st, 2009 at 1:01 pm
Real talk…that post a few weeks back about Rihanna and CB made the same damn point yet women were up in arms cuz a woman said it. Fuck you to all the women who feel like it’s ever okay to hit a dude!!! Honestly, it’s wrong to hit period. If you hit a man and he hits you back, then so be it. Maybe then women will think twice about trying to enact the double standard regarding domestic violence and then crying victim when they get what’s coming to them. Thanks for keeping it 100 on all accounts.
December 1st, 2009 at 1:10 pm
Mo, yeah I didn’t get the reason some women were upset about that post. I really think its solely because a woman wrote it.
December 1st, 2009 at 4:13 pm
In all seriousness, Elin Woods was lucky that her husband’s name was Tiger and not say Orenthal James. That domestic altercation (if there indeed was one) could have gone a lot differently.
December 1st, 2009 at 4:18 pm
It took a lot of will power to avoid making an OJ reference when I was writing this. LOL. Thank you for doing it for me.
December 2nd, 2009 at 11:24 am
Great post! What’s good for the goose is NOT good for the gander. Everybody needs to keep their hands to themselves.
December 3rd, 2009 at 6:30 am
Well, I don’t know about the ‘wishing it were me cashing his checks’ thing. I dislike these Wesley Snipes types because of their apparent disdain for black women. Personally, I’ve never been able to control who I’ve been attracted to, and that group has included men from many ethnic backgrounds. However, I’ve never done the whole ‘Men from race a, b, c are/act x, y, z, so I would never date them, dislike them, think they’re blah, blah, blah’ thing. I don’t care if a black man is attracted to a white woman. Just don’t denigrate black women because of it. Moving along…
I agree with a lot of the rest. However, I don’t think anyone has a right to hit someone else because they’re sad, scorned, pissed off, what-have-you, *EVER*. Short of self defense it’s just not acceptable. Period. As a woman, I catch a lot of gruff because I refuse to call myself a feminist. This Tiger thing is why I don’t. Some women are high-fiving and you-go-girling themselves silly, but THIS MAN COULD HAVE DIED BEHIND HIS WIFE’S CRAZINESS. Not cool. Had she been the one found lying in the street, Tiger would STILL be in jail. Where is all the equality/feminist outrage? Where is all the digging into the story a la Chris Brown? I guess I just have a real problem with my nephews growing up in a country where people think it’s acceptable to hit a man if ‘he deserved it because he cheated’. FTW?
I’m still trying to decipher the levels of hypocrisy in this and similar situations. Is it race? Or just gender? How does a woman verbally and physically abuse her husband in front of millions and then get a TV show (Kate Gosselin)? How does a man (Chris Brown) get SKEWERED by the media for a fight with his girlfriend that sources (you know those unnamed ones they always use for these stories) say she started? How does a woman beat her husband unconscious WITH A GOLF CLUB, yet HE apologizes to the world and still gets blamed?
Anyway, not ALL women support this kind of nonsense. Some of us really DO want true equality which includes punishment for female abusers. Elin Nordegren should be in jail.
December 8th, 2009 at 6:25 pm
Those of you who equate the alleged incident btwn Tiger & his wife with the run of the mill hubby beating his wife do not know much about domestic violence. In the US thousands of women die at the hands of their male partners. How many men die from being battered by their wives? When was the last time a male celebrity was beaten so severely by his female partner that he wound up in the hospital for days? I can’t think of one incident of a male celebrity being hospitalized after a brutal beating by his wife or girlfriend. I’m saddened that people would compare this Tiger incident to the Rihanna/Chris Brown situation & I’m deeply disturbed that one person seems to be claiming that perhaps it’s ok that Chris Brown hit Rihanna since she started it. I don’t know what values were instilled in some of the posters by their parents, but I would urge people who see a moral equivalence btwn the alleged Tiger incident and the brutal beating of Rihanna and thousands of other women a year in this country visit some of the sites on the internet to find out the devastating impact domestic violence has on women and children. I am the mother of 2 sons & I tell them what my mother told my brothers, “there is never a reason to raise your hands to a women.” If things get out of control, leave. If a woman cannot keep her hands to herself, then that is not the woman you should be with.” The behavior Tiger is accused of is terrible, but I applaud him for not raising his hand to the mother of his children.
December 8th, 2009 at 6:47 pm
Reading comprehension “Wondering”. Learn what it is and then apply it. I went out of my way to say “Assume the rumors are true.” I also said a man should “defend himself” if he has no other choice. Not only that, but Tiger DID end up in the hospital. You’re trying to say that a woman putting a man in the hospital just can’t be morally equivalent to a man putting a woman in the hospital which is not only stupid but just plan wrong. ASSUMING the rumor is true, she went at him with a deadly weapon. That’s a worse crime (because of using a weapon) than beating someone with just your fist. You do women of domestic violence a HUGE disservice by somehow dismissing that. When a man/woman/child comes at another person with a deadly weapon, that other person has the RIGHT to defend themselves. Its sickening and disgusting of you to sit there and try to act like just because more women REPORT domestic abuse that a man can’t defend himself when attacked. Give me a fucking break
December 11th, 2009 at 12:01 pm
Kriss, it kind of reminds me of that old little girl’s empowerment song “Anything you do, I can do better” saying that little girls can do things better than men. There is all the talk about being men and women being equal and concern over why people follow mens sports more than womens sports, when “Wondering” just essentially made the case that men are capable of being physically more powerful and thus should be held to different standards than women when it comes to spousal abuse.
ANY spousal abuse is just plain wrong, whether it be man on woman, woman on man, woman on woman (unless there’s a video camera present and they happen to look like the two foreign language teachers in another article
), or man on man. Furthermore, Kriss, you make a good point about the fact that the golf club was supposedly used. Anyone who has swung a golf club knows that the intent of the club is to transfer all of the force to the head of the club and it surely has the capability of being a deadly weapon. That’s felony shit. And women, don’t hit me with the “Well he’s the one who cheated, he deserved it,” because I’ve been cheated on but I never laid a finger on the girl who did so – for as much as I wanted to.