The recent conversations about the Morehouse dress code reminded me of another conversation that I had with a coworker last year about ‘individual self expression’.

That conversation really was an eye opener for me in how different we really are as a people on things that sometimes we would expect to agree on based on other similarities.

The fact that I even entertained the conversation meant to me that I must have shared in some of her views to a certain extent but she was just way too liberal for my taste.

After coming up with a few scenarios in which I thought that ‘personal expressions’ had just gone too far from hairstyles to clothing to public behaviors etc, she kept saying….we have to let people be people.

I really had to pause the conversation when I presented this scenario:

Me: If your 12-year-old child came to you and said that he/she was gay, what would your reaction be?

Her: Initially, confused but ultimately she would let her child be who she ‘wanted to be’.

Yea…that got me good. The point that I made to her was this:

I am all for individualism to a certain extent, freedom of thought and ability to think creatively and outside of the box is what separates the successes of the United States from some other countries not doing as well.  When it comes to personal freedom of self-expression, we must be careful. I am all for it as long as the person is mature (not old) enough to deal with the subsequent consequences.  In my opinion the 12 year old above has reached nowhere near the level of maturity needed to deal with the consequences…..nor does he understand his/her feelings.

Here are some examples:

1.     A young professional male decides to get his hair styled in cornrows/dreadz but some company refuses to hire him for a business sales position. Not right but it happens.

2.     A young lady decides to dress provocatively but gets upset when a guy approaches her and speaks to her in a disrespectful manner not deserving of a lady…not right but it happens.

3.     A cross dressing male patronizes a restaurant but is refused access to the women’s or men’s bathroom….not right but can happen.

4.     A woman who chooses to presents herself in ways considered to be more masculine (male suits, baggy pants etc) but is refused membership in a female sorority (or vice versa)….sucks but happens everyday.

We will all have differing opinions as to which of these are crossing ‘the line’ but the question is….where do we draw the line?

At what point do we look at ourselves and say enough is enough….the ‘Live and Let Live’ mantra is great and I embrace it but when other’s actions/behaviors start affecting how you as a person is treated….is this then a cause for concern?