I recently got an email from a reader about an interesting topic. He’s a white guy and his question was how come when a white person makes a joke black people find it inappropriate but if a black person makes the same joke, they find it funny.
I actually think this is the wrong question ask. See, the answer to that question is very simple. The reason Black people react differently is because we are overly sensitive to things white people say, especially when it comes to “jokes.” The real question should be, “Why are we overly sensitive?” I don’t think anyone has really done a good job explaining it. Usually when a white person tries to explain it they come off as having “white guilt” and when a black person tries to explain it they simply say “Because of slavery you racist asshole” without really explaining what that means. The short and simple answer to the question is that white people can’t make those kinds of statements and jokes because black people are extremely distrustful of the context behind what they are saying. In order to answer this question we need to take care of some history first that, thanks to our shitty public education system, seems to be either not taught or misconstrued.
The first thing we need to address is the fact that Lincoln didn’t free the slaves. Actually let’s take it a step back further. The Civil War wasn’t about slavery or freeing slaves. That is a myth that seems to be taught to young kids in public, private and home schools these days and now these kids grow up really believing the North was fighting “The good fight” of freeing slaves. This is false. The making slaves free men wasa useful by product of the Civil War, much like horse byproduct (feces) makes good fertilizer. The Civil War was about what all wars are about, money. The North couldn’t afford to have the South break off as its own country (with all the agriculture? Please).Lincoln’s speech which “Freed the slaves” was about healing the country, not giving equal rights to all. Plus, when they say Lincoln “Freed” the slaves, its not like he went around plantation to plantation saying “Thou Art Free”. A lot of people, particularly white people, forget that ending 400 years of slavery didn’t mean much back then. What they neglect to realize is that even though slavery ended, black people still weren’t treated as equal human beings. From the time Lincoln outlawed slavery to the Civil Rights Act of 1964, black people had to deal with blatant systemic racism (Don’t get it twisted, its still going on, just round the clock blatant). Jim Crow laws where enacted from 1876 to 1965. From using ridiculous grandfather clauses and violent intimidation to keep blacks from voting, to segregating schools, buses and lunch counters, black people were still not treated as equals after the Emancipation Proclamation. I need to reiterate that these egregious acts of racism not only were accepted by society as a whole, but that they occurred in relatively recent memory. Not only were these just tough emotionally…but people where killed simply because they wanted equal rights. These are things that happened IN OUR LIFETIME. I love hearing white people say things like “But my family didn’t own slaves.” Okay, but you and your family benefited, whether you agreed with it or not, from rules and laws that severely limited what blacks were allowed to do. We have family members we can still talk to that will tell us what it was like to have to sit at the back of the bus, drink from the colored water fountain and what it was like being “separate but equal.” See, what white people see as an ugly scar that happened “a long time ago”, we black people see as a fresh wound.
In addition to that history, it’s also the dismissal of that history by white people that makes blacks so sensitive. Just think about the different ways people react to Jewish people taking offense to something as opposed to a black person. No one tells a Jewish person to “Get over” the Holocaust. But when a black person says something is crossing the line, we’re told that “slavery happened a long time ago. Get over it.” Never mind the fact that the Holocaust occurred in the 1940’s and in 1960 black people were still sipping from different water fountains.
There’s also one other factor I want to throw in real quick and that’s the “Denial Syndrome”. This is when a white person does something bigoted or racist and instead of apologizing for it, they act like they can’t possibly see why people are offended. This adds to the distrust of the context of a white person’s joke. In our mind we’re thinking “Are they just telling a joke or are they mocking us.” Take the instance where those teens in Louisiana mocked the Jena 6 incident by covering themselves in mud and shouting “niggers put the noose on.” Yeah, instead of just apologizing for racist behavior, they tried to claim they were just “joking.” Then there are cases like the Don Imus case. On face the Don Imus comments could be seen as just a joke from shock jock. But when you dig a little and see that his producer has made racists comments before, as a black person, you then have to question the context behind the “joke.” And no…just because a black person makes a stupid, retarded joke or comment, it doesn’t make it okay for you to do it too. We’re adults. The “But they did it too excuse” doesn’t work.
So that is why the same joke told by a black person is found funny by blacks and is viewed as crossing the line if told by a white person. There are ways to make racial jokes and not be labeled a bigot. I say all the time “White people can’t use the word nigga.” But I’ve been in the audience of a comedy show before, heard a white guy use the word…and laughed my ass off. Why? Because he was able to do so in a context that made it clear there was no malicious attempt (Warning: Using the “N-Word” as a white person can be very detrimental to your health and is not recommended. Use at your own risk). Also, it’s very hard to read context, particularly online. So yes, when the white Mayor of a California town sends out an email to a black person with a watermelon patch in the White House front lawn, it sets off an alarm in our brain. Think of it this way. You have a little brother or sister and growing up you might have teased them endlessly, beat them up and generally been an ass to them. But if someone else decided to do the same thing you did, you would defend your brother/sister with your life. Its the same way with racial/cultural jokes.
July 16th, 2009 at 10:19 am
I think you articualted that very well and speaks for how most blacks feel about the subject. He was asking the wrong question and Im glad you picked up on that. You definitely hit the nail on the head with your explanation. I hope these white folk “get it” now.
July 16th, 2009 at 1:33 pm
well put, man. i think you hit the nail on the head, too. however, as neither a white nor a black person, i think i can look at this issue pretty neutrally. i think that it is pretty unfair that we aren’t taught the simple truth about the civil war or the black civil rights movement in school (i also think it’s pretty unfair that history is divided into only black and white). it also sucks that some white people cannot share your perspective on black peoples’ lack of civil rights until very recently. the world seems very different if you look at it through that perspective. however, regarding jokes… i think that this article strays away from the main point of oversensitivity. true, some white people overstep their boundaries when “joking around,” but you have to realize that the vast majority of jokes are just jokes… if you take them as such, then there’s no reason to get offended (regardless of who you are or what your cultural history is). same with a white person joke. the one thing that confuses me about the black and white communities is that they both talk about unity, but they both talk s*** about each other and segregate themselves. if the black community wants the white community to stop thinking of them in a racial manner, then the black community has to stop segregating itself. that includes continuing on with “white people did this” and “white people did that…” i’m not saying that you should forget your history, but you shouldn’t be bent on separating yourselves from other people, either… that’s bulls***.
July 16th, 2009 at 2:42 pm
@Kriss – very well said. Hands down, one of the best posts ever. Also, it should be noted that Abraham Lincoln’s “freing the slaves” was not only ineffective, but major posturing. The South had seceded, forming their own government and military. Abraham Lincoln did nothing but “free” slaves that he technically had no control over anymore.
@rtp – I was with you until about the middle. This article explains PERFECTLY why jokes are not, in fact, “just jokes.” Keeping our history in mind, even “jokes” have to be questioned when it comes to their place/theory of origin and their intent. If someone made a “joke” about you that you thought was too personal, you would be defensive or at least wary about accepting their defense about “joking.” Especially if they have a history of nonchalantly abusing your rights as a human being.
Sometimes jokes are jokes, but just because something makes you laugh does not mean that it comes from a pure-hearted place.
Also, the “black community” segregates itself? Are you joking? Blind (no offense to blind people who may be having this read to them)? Unintelligent? (See how you might not think that I’m joking, but I am… really!) To some extent, I can see how you may say/think that. But with a larger, more global and historial view, you will see that many Black people are marginalized, and do not, in fact, “segregate themselves.” Do you mean that people should try to take up residence in homes that they cannot afford because their education was substandard? Get jobs for which they are ill-prepared? Or that people should make friends with people not of their race based only on diversity, actual companionship and personal compatibility be damned? And let me be clear in stating that I am not saying that all blacks are “poor,” “uneducated,” etc. I am neither. But those are the major divides between communities. And just because racism is not de jure does not mean that it is not de facto.
Not all black people “segregate themselves.” Neither do all white people. And to make that vast generalization is to demean whatever efforts have been made my people of all backgrounds and genders. You basically did what the post instruted you not to, and said “Get over it.” I can only hope that at some point you understand why that will not happen any time soon.
Aaaaaand I have talked alot, lol. I’m off my soapbox now.
July 16th, 2009 at 2:43 pm
Oh don’t get me wrong, I do believe there are some times when people just can’t get a joke. I believe its because as a people (all humans) have lost our sense of humor. I think a great example of this is when the movie Tropic Thunder came out. I know a lot of black folk that were pissed at the “black face” in the movie but they hadn’t even read the context or watched the movie. I agree that it is just stupid to get riled up over things like that. I do think we just need to be more careful and make sure that when we do make “just a joke” that the context can be seen. That and people just need to lighten the fuck up.
As far as the self segregating we do, I think all races do that. You hang out with and are more comfortable with those that are like you. I think we need to be honest with ourselves that this idea of a “racial utopia” isn’t realistic. What we should be doing is instead working toward being more respectful to each other. There’s nothing wrong with groups being formed as “support”. I don’t see Black Enterprise Magazine as being a form of segregation. Why? Because it just gives readers an idea of what goes on in the black business community just like the Wall Street journal, while not called the “white business magazine”, focuses more on white people simply because there are more of them. I think its important for minority groups to not necessarily have their own things (separate but equal…no) but to have things that can bring to light what’s going on in their communities.
July 16th, 2009 at 3:58 pm
Hmmm… perhaps I am one of those sensitive people that is what is wrong with the world… Meh… I’m ok with that.
July 16th, 2009 at 4:04 pm
There’s a thin line between love and hate….there’s also a thin line between a joke and offensive. I think every case has to be looked at individually and we have to use common sense. I always approach it as “Was it meant to be malicious?” Covering yourself in mud and saying “hang the niggers” is over the line and not a joke. Robert Downey Jr.’s character in Tropic Thunder was not a mockery of black people but Hollywood. Its just hard to really set that line in stone.
July 16th, 2009 at 4:23 pm
“Self-segregation” is only a problem when blacks are perceived to be doing it. That term is rarely, if ever, used to describe Latinos’, Asians’, Middle easterners’, etc. efforts to create community, define and defend their interests.
July 16th, 2009 at 4:35 pm
Yeah for some reason whenever an issue about minorities is brought up, people only think about blacks. Think about how the issue of Affirmative Action ALWAYS talks about black people but never mentions how it also helps out women, latinos, asians, etc. Its just sad
July 16th, 2009 at 4:54 pm
Good, thought provoking post. And good discussion all around. Can’t say anymore because it’s really already been said. Kudos
July 20th, 2009 at 7:14 pm
** I apologize in advance for this long-wided repsonse. I just have several points to hit on. **
I know that I’m late to the party on this topic, but I wanted to weigh in. I’m the the white guy who e-mailed Kriss with the topic idea. As a background to the e-mail I sent Kriss, I pointed out that I have a black girlfriend and we often discuss similar topics as those that Kriss discusses on his blog. One such topic was the recent picture of Obama and Sarkozy checking out a chick’s butt at the G8 Summit (whether they actually did is beside the point.) For those unfamiliar with the picture, here it is:
http://boston.3432.voxcdn.com/wp-content/uploads/2009/07/obama.jpg
With this picture in mind, my girlfriend and I decided to do a case study. We were both going to post the photo on Facebook with the exact same inoffensive caption and see if any black people would comment on my posting. This case study was motivated by a premise that Bill Maher has raised on several occasions. Maher has said that people need to get used to that fact that when he makes a joke about Obama, he’s not making a joke about all black people. As he puts it — “The same way as when I made a joke about Bush it was not a swipe at all retarded people.”
People that know Maher should understand that he’s not coming from a racist place. Despite this, Maher’s Obama jokes do not go over well among black audiences. Likewise, all of my black friends should understand that I’m not coming from a racist place. Yet I didn’t receive a single comment from a black person on the photo I posted. My girlfriend received numerous comments. It played out as we expected, but that doesn’t make it any less disheartening.
In one of the comments above, AlwaysPenUltimate wrote:
Keeping our history in mind, even “jokes” have to be questioned when it comes to their place/theory of origin and their intent. If someone made a “joke” about you that you thought was too personal, you would be defensive or at least wary about accepting their defense about “joking.” Especially if they have a history of nonchalantly abusing your rights as a human being.
I agree with PenUltimate’s premise, but that’s not the way the case study played out. My joke was not attacking a black person I know, and the caption (Gr8 view at the G8) applied just as much to Sarkozy as it did Obama. I have no history of nonchalantly abusing people’s rights — unless your saying that since I’m white I’m viewed that way (even though I’ve never evidenced that) solely because the history of my people abusing others’ rights.
Therein lies why the case study is so disheartening to me — we’re taking people as a group rather than as individuals. My friends know that I mean no harm with my comment, but they get upset solely because I’m a white person. And Bill Maher means no harm to black people, he’s just jonesing on Obama like he did to Bush and Clinton. We argue that we want to be judged on an individual level and not based on the color of our skin, but yet too many of us go back to a white vs. black mentality when it comes to innocent jokes from a white person. It’s hypocritical. Especially considering that many of us laugh quite hard when Dave Chappelle, Richard Pryor, and Chris Rock make jokes about white people. I laugh at those jokes because they’re funny. I can’t wait for a day when it can be the other way around, too.
This isn’t specific to just either. The same also happens with fact based arguments. I live in DC and have heard the exact same argument made by a black person and made by a white person regarding Marion Barry’s corruption. Black people will listen to a argument against Barry from another black person, but the same argument from a white person is received with skepticism.
I understand the history that Kriss lays out above, and I undertand why that makes people feel as they do. That doesn’t make those feelings correct, though. I’m willing to bet that in the future that the black community will be more accepting of these type of jokes or arguments, so why don’t some brave souls start moving in that direction? Unfortunately, there are way too many people (on both sides) still trying to foster an us vs. them mentality, and as a result people are reluctant to be the first to step out and laugh at the innocent joke or post a comment about that innocent picture because they don’t want to be perceived as going against their community. It’s a roadblock, or at least a speed bump, toward the community we should be striving for — full integration and acceptance. That goes both ways.
July 23rd, 2009 at 12:24 am
Race is a sensitive subject (especially in regards to blacks and white in America)- period.
This is a great post; it was unemotional, unbiased and intelligent. The one thing I can’t stand is when people start talking about issues of race and they start getting all ignorant, emotional, defensive and completely illogical– it prevents people from actively listening and responding.
I think the most important part of the article was to state that it’s not something that Black people will just ‘get over’. It happened, and the thing that bothers me the most is that a lot of white America doesn’t want to acknowledge that, and a lot of Black America is pissed off because of it.
July 30th, 2009 at 10:06 am
A very well written and honest article. The author did a good job in explaining why blacks react differently and tend to be “overly sensitive to things whites say.” There is no doubt that the 400 years of slavery and years following of continued racism has been a horrible sin and stain in our country. The author summed it up well when he said, “What white people see as an ugly scar that happened “a long time ago”, we black people see as a fresh wound.” He also said, “It’s also the dismissal of that history [the horrors of racism] by white people that makes blacks so sensitive.”
As a non-black I certainly don’t dismiss our shameful horrendous racist history and I don’t think most do dismiss it, although many certainly minimize it and most don’t understand it. I fully understand the concept of the pain of a fresh wound. In life we as human beings all have experienced various kinds of pains and abuses and to some degree or another have experienced deep emotional wounds. The question I ask is with all the tremendous strides we have made in equality for all and the vast opportunities in our country for people of all races why is the wound still so fresh? There seems now even to be quite a bit of reverse racism where one’s words can be easily misconstrued and one be inappropriately labeled as a racist. This too is unfortunate.
There is no doubt that as a race the blacks have suffered and been abused in an way than whites which whites know nothing of. Whites have not walked in the shoes of blacks and need to listen more, understand, empathize and validate their pain. Likewise, the Jews during the holocaust have tasted an intense measure of racial suffering and abuse. The author stated, “No one tells a Jewish person to “Get over” the Holocaust. But when a black person says something is crossing the line, we’re told that “slavery happened a long time ago. Get over it.” I think the difference here, and this is my personal observation, is that in general the Jews have “gotten over” the holocaust much better than the blacks have gotten over slavery and racism. I need not be careful to parse my words for fear of being called an “anti-semite,” yet often hear blacks pull the race card in situations where it is not at all merited. If one says something the wrong way or tells an innocent ethnic joke to friends he may me labeled a racist.
We can bring the pains of our past into the present and keep the wound fresh or choose to forgive, acknowledge the past but leave it behind and move on. Even now the Jews suffer a much greater prejudice than most and that from the entire world. They get bombed by groups of people that have vowed to see them wiped off the face of the earth and when they defend themselves the United Nations labels them as being aggressive and out of order. Do we know of anyone that has vowed to wipe blacks off the face of the earth? (And in many countries, in a similar way Christians suffer tremendously for their faith, over 350,000 martyred each year but we don’t hear much about that injustice) Yet I don’t hear Jews complain about their plight and take it out on other non-Jew individuals the way blacks complain about their past and all too often find it easy to label someone a racist. It has to do with rehashing past wounds and maintaining a victim mentality. I know because I have done it. I have whined about abuses I have suffered and had to get over it. It was so unproductive for me to carry these things with me every day. The pain was real but I was recycling it rather than dispersing it. I was keeping it alive and even refueling it! I have learned I must leave it all behind and not judge and react to people according to my past abuses. We all must do that. If we don’t, then by keeping that grudge we will end up becoming our own worst enemy. It is a spiritual principle of judgment and retribution.
Jesus taught us all to forgive those who have sinned against us, even our enemies. I’ll never forget Corrie Ten Boom tell the story of how years later after the Holocaust she met one of Nazi guards responsible for killing her family and was faced with that decision to forgive or not forgive. She had an internal battle until finally she reached out her hand and opened her heart to this man. As they clasped hands together something inside of her broke and as the forgiveness flowed between them she experienced a wave of love and freedom. Corrie forgave a man directly responsible for killing her family members yet some blacks hold against individual whites things they never personally did. I can’t speak for everyone but this is certainly what a number of people mean when they say, “Come on, let’s get over it already.”
I have greatly enjoyed reading Bill Cosby’s book “Come On People.” Unfortunately, Mr Cosby, (a great guy and awesome comedian) got a lot of flack from his own people on speaking up in a similar way. In all of this I see the simple yet challenging message, one that can apply for all of us no matter what the source and type of suffering. Yes, the past is horrific. Yes we have suffered abuses but lets move on. Yes some have suffered more than others. But let’s rise above it. Let’s not assume our pain is greater than another’s. Only God knows the heart. Neither let us minimize another’s pain. Let’s forgive one another as Christ as forgiven us. Let’s triumph over hatred with love and conquer evil with good. And as far as it depends on us, let’s live at peace with everyone.
October 16th, 2009 at 1:06 pm
Sorry to comment on something old rather than something new, but I just found this video and it fits in PERFECTLY with this topic. Enjoy.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6LqxEhC9EEg