I’m a sucker for punishment.¬† I really am.¬† I tend to get myself into trouble because I feel compelled to argue about topics that I know are bound to get people into their emotions.¬† I did that the last couple of weeks with talking about Michael Jackson and I’m about to do it again with talking about religion.¬† Well, I’m not really going to talk about religion. I’m going to talk about Creationist/Intelligent Design. ¬†Let’s get one thing perfectly clear.¬† Creationists are idiots.¬† Well, maybe that’s a little harsh. ¬†It’s not that they are idiots, its that what they believe in and promote is absolutely fucknuts insane. Listen, we all do stupid things (while writing this I took a gulp of steaming hot tea and now I can’t feel my tongue or esophagus), but it bothers me immensely when something that is clearly false is being pushed as being just as relevant as the truth.
Now I’m no stranger to shitting on the idiotic beliefs of Creationists. ¬†This all started for me a couple of years ago when I was watching my favorite comedy show (Fox & Friends). ¬†They brought on this guy who looked like Abraham Lincoln named Ken Ham and he had just built a museum that was to show the “Christian Alternative” to Evolution. ¬†I laughed my ass off because I thought it was a joke. ¬†I didn’t think there really were nutcases out there that could believe that crap. ¬†As Lewis Black would say “The Scopes Trial is over, there’s nothing more to discuss.” ¬†My laughter slowly turned to “What the fuck?” when I realized there were actually a good number of people that agreed with this loony bin. ¬†I mean, this guy’s museum has dinosaurs and people walking around together like it’s the Flintstones. ¬†Not only that, but apparently the guides explain that T Rex and other predators have long teeth not for ripping flesh…but for cracking….wait for it….wait for it….coconuts. ¬†I’m sorry but anyone that thinks T Rex was chomping down on coconuts with those razor sharp teeth should be strapped up and locked in a padded room for their own safety. ¬†You might think that’s crazy but the real crazy thing is the museum is exceeding attendance marks. ¬†That’s right, it’s popular.¬† That’s what’s scariest.¬† Add to that the fact that 3 of the Republicans that tried to get their party nomination for the 2008 election didn’t believe in evolution and then there was the news I read yesterday about Governor Rick Perry of Texas appointing a Creationist as the head of the State Board of Education ¬†and one has to think this country has permanently sunk into lunacy. ¬†And we wonder why our education system is so screwy.¬† Putting a woman who isn’t a teacher but instead a newspaper editor as head of the Board of Education is stupid. ¬†But putting one that thinks we need to teach the “alternative” to evolution to our kids is just asinine. ¬†The alternative to evolution is fairytale bullshit not supported by any form of fact. If we’re going to do that then we might as well start presenting ghost stories and legends like Zorro and Paul Bunyan as historical fact.
I know the major sticking point with evolution for people is they don’t want to believe they came from monkeys. Well fucknuts…unless your mother and father were a chimp, you didn’t come from monkey, you came from a human. ¬†Evolution explains how organisms on Earth change in their genetic material from generation to generation over a period of time(A long period of time.¬† The Earth is not 6,000 years old like some of these assclowns believe)…and…it’s backed up by scientific fact. ¬†Yes, evolution is a “theory” but if Creationists really believe that is reason enough to question it, then one can only hope that they all jump off a really high cliff to test out the Theory of Gravity.
I take this issue to heart because its unbelievable that this is still “up for debate.” ¬†When I hear someone tell me they don’t believe in Evolution my brain comes to a screeching halt as if it was involved in a massive 20 car pileup on I-495. ¬†Its as ludicrous as an adult telling me that they still believe in Santa Claus and the Easter Bunny but worse because these people pass on their ignorance to their children and their children’s children. ¬†If you want to believe the Earth was created in 6 days, that the Earth is only 6,000 years old, that dinosaurs walked the earth with people and that Velociraptors were cuddly pets that ate bananas (that long toe claw was for easy peeling) then by all means do you. ¬†If its just too much for you to fathom that modern day human linage can be traced back to early primates and you want to ignore the fact that people have evolved, then continue to waddle in your ignorance. ¬†But don’t teach that bullshit to your kids.¬† Just like racism can be passed on from generation to generation so can your own ignorance.¬† Creationism and it’s bastardized red headed step child called “Intelligent Design” should be kept as far away from schools as possible.¬† People used to think the earth was flat and that the sun revolved around it because they didn’t want little things like FACTS to get in the way of their ignorance. ¬†That’s no different than what’s going on here.¬† Believing in evolution doesn’t lessen your faith. ¬†I happen to believe the God gave us common sense for a reason. ¬†There are plenty of ways for God to test your faith. ¬†God didn’t need to create fake fossils or back date the Earth’s blueprints so that it would throw off Carbon Dating. ¬†The facts are the facts.¬† Learn to live with them.