Early last week I spent hours after hours watching Chris Hansen confront perverted grown men who drove, in some cases 200 miles, to a house with intentions of playing hide the sausage with a 13 year old girl (or in some cases a boy). To Catch a Predator is one of my favorite shows just because it publicly exposes and humiliates these sick individuals. The online chat logs and dudes showing up butt naked is enough to make any person considering having kids to get their tubes tied. I could never really understand what would drive an individual to be attracted to an underage child. However, after this weekend in Philly, I definitely see how it happens. I was in Philly for 4 days for a fraternity Convention. At the same time, the Jack & Jill program was also having a conference in the same hotel. Let me set the scene: A conference of grown ass men who are away from their wives/girlfriends and about 900 young 13 – 17 year olds who dress and act like they are 25. What could possibly go wrong? At one point on Friday, a few of my frat brothers and myself decided to play a game. I think I’m going to call it “The Chris Hansen Game.” See, our step show was hosted in one of the ballrooms of the Hotel…a couple of doors down from the where the Jack & Jill program was hosting their own party. So we sat at some tables outside the door of the step show and tried the guess the ages of the young girls walking pass the step show to get into the Jack & Jill party. Let me tell you, the outcome of the game was scary. Even more scary was when the step show ended and the after party started and they stopped checking wrists bands and our fear that one of those young girls would make their way into the party with the grown folks. See, I didn’t realize until that night that these young 15 year olds are dressing 10 years older than they really are. In one particular case, there was this girl who was wearing this form fitting dress (she was overdeveloped, more on that later), was holding her Jack & Jill badge instead of wearing it and was trying to get into the grown up party. We came to the consensus that if Dateline was there that night that Chris Hansen would have completely understood how a man could mistake that little child for a grown ass woman, turned the cameras off and warned dude to go through the side door instead of the front door in order to avoid the cops.
As I watched these underage children walk around this hotel with sparse supervision, I became progressively angrier. How could anyone allow their young 14 year old daughter to pack for a trip wearing outfits not suitable for a hooker? I know the argument is “Well maybe she hid the clothes” but that’s a bullshit excuse for a couple of reasons. First off, when I have kids, particularly daughters, when they go on trips, there will be bag checks right before we leave the house. This whole idea of respecting your son/daughter’s “privacy” is bullshit. As long as they a live under your roof they live by your rules. I plan on being straight DEA, Border Patrol and Immigration wrapped in one when it comes to my kids.
Also, who bought them these clothes to begin with? I know growing up I got $10 a month for an allowance. $20 if I got good grades on my report card. Basically I wasn’t given enough money to get in trouble with. If my sister or I wanted clothes, our mom would take us to the store where she had final veto power on any apparel decisions. See, our mom didn’t just drop us off a the mall for several hours with our friends with a fist full of cash…because that would lead to trouble. Nowadays the Mall has become the second babysitter, right behind the TV and Xbox.
This lack of parental guidance is especially damaging these days. I know I’m not the only one noticing that there are 13 year olds with body’s that have developed like Jessica Rabbit. They say the growth hormones they use in beef and the chemicals they use to kill insects on fruits and vegetables are harmless. I beg to differ. You have kids walking around with the mental capacity of adolescents and the body of a 25 – 28 year old. That’s a recipe for disaster and I believe its being caused by the artificial growth hormones we’re putting in the McDonalds, Burger King and all the other foods we feed our kids because we’re too lazy to cook. Here’s the math:
(Overdeveloped young girls + Adult clothes) – Parental Guidance = a Dateline NBC special waiting to happen
I feel like a broken record right now. I was just talking about this last week. But seeing these little 13 – 16 year olds walking around wearing form fitting clothes, designer shoes, cussing around their parents (or chaperones) and generally acting way older than they really are, I can see we have a huge problem developing.
April 7th, 2009 at 1:44 pm
Well, working in retail I am very well versed in this. Little girls come in ALL the time in tight juicy couture velour track jackets, slung below their hips and go for the highest, sexiest platforms they can. Their parents buy them these things and think its cute. There’s a prevalence of parents who want to be their child’s friends. Is disgusting. And what happens if parents say “no”? The get bitched out in public by their kids. So the parent is embarrassed and STILL buys them their stuff to try to make up with their brats. Little girls these days don’t have proper role models. Parents like mine were deemed way too strict in my heyday but they don’t exist in this generation at all. It also doesn’t help that its hard to find clothes that fit these overdeveloped girls. They have to shop in the junior teen department and all the stuff there is low cut and form fitting. Not to mention they make padded training bras and matching thongs for little girls of about 10 who have no breasts. Its a mess and God bless the GOOD parents of daughters in the future. They will be outnumbered.
April 7th, 2009 at 1:44 pm
So, first you say they’re dressing like 25-year olds, and then you say they go out “wearing outfits not suitable for a hooker?”
Are you suggesting all 25 year old dress in a manner “not suitable for a hooker?” And what does that mean, exactly? What were they wearing that was “unsuitable for a hooker,” since the only thing you really described was a form-fitting dress and designer shoes? Are we not allowed to wear form-fitting dresses and designer shoes now because they make us look like hookers? I think you just have issues with pretty girls/women, myself.
I’d say the “insanity” report is an appropriate name for this blog. You were literally all over the place with your ranting. I know, those poor overdeveloped 14 and 15 year old girls messed you up, too, didn’t they? *rolls eyes*
April 7th, 2009 at 1:55 pm
I hope this is satire. If it isn’t you are an idiot. The premise is that a 25 year-old is a consenting adult who can make decisions for his or herself. The point of this article isn’t whether or not a 25 year old looks like a hooker in the described attire (which they will) but it’s that at 15 year old has no business wearing the same fashion as an adult. Tight/ill fitting clothes is used to draw attention to one’s body despite what any woman will say it’s for attention. Any human under the age of 18 has no business dressing in this manner. Period.
April 7th, 2009 at 1:56 pm
For clarification, my comment was in reply Alexa.
April 7th, 2009 at 1:58 pm
Alexa…ummm…okay. I have no idea what you are complaining about. This was about underage girls wearing inappropriate clothes. What the hell does that have to do with what a 25 year old wears? My line about clothes being not suitable for a hooker was just word play and no where do I suggest that if a 25 year old wears clothes like that, that she’s dressing worse than a hooker. Reading comprehension skills…I suggest you acquire them.
April 7th, 2009 at 2:00 pm
Biggs…thank you…cause I had to re-read it again to see if I was trippin. WTF…stay in school kids…
April 7th, 2009 at 2:07 pm
Alexa… Clearly you are on drugs. I just want to know how you like them: Crack or Coke?
April 7th, 2009 at 2:19 pm
Let it be known that I actually prefer my 25 year olds to dress like Hookers…
April 7th, 2009 at 2:41 pm
Sure, who doesn’t like the hooker look? I mean you get all the promises of a hooker minus the disease and filth, that’s good times.
April 7th, 2009 at 2:48 pm
How does she infer that your rant means that you have a problem with girls and women. Personally, I think Alexa was one of those fast dressing 15 year olds back in her day. Probably got a baby on her hip now too because of it.
April 8th, 2009 at 8:00 am
I recently came back from a NSBE conference in Las Vegas and had a similar experience with the NSBE Jr. kids. First off your have a bunch of unsupervised underaged kids in LAS VEGAS. Nothing good can come from this. And the boys are just as bad. MY brother is a senior in high school and he plays football. These dudes are like 5′10″, 220lbs of swole, with full mustaches. I’m like are you the coach? Atleast with girls, you can tell after talking to them that their young. Boys don’t stop sounding like their in high school until after college.
The crazy part is I’m talking about kids born only five years after I was. What’s gonna happen when I have kids? Training bras at 5? Shaving at 7? I’m scared.
April 8th, 2009 at 5:28 pm
LMFAO at Bigg’s response…I thought that was in response to the post. I was mad confused at the first 2 comments like I wasn’t reading the same blog. But yea alexa…you can dress like a hooker for me anyday as long as you are attractive and dont have any diseases.
I won’t discriminate against you. WTF!
Yea..but teens dressing too damn grown is a no bueno
April 16th, 2009 at 1:34 am
LMAO – its all so true! Leah I totally agree… I always cracked it with my parents because I thought they were so strict, but they were just making sure I enjoyed the precious time that we get to be KIDS!! I’m an Aussie and I was a country kid – my early teen years were spent climbing trees, swimming in creeks and thinking it was oh-so-special to wear my mum’s heels out once in a blue moon! Don’t get me wrong, I love my heels, lippy and all things designer these days – but what any of us wouldn’t give to spend just one day as our 14yr old selves again!! Forget the straighteners, forget the mini skirts and forget about trying to be 25 – it sux – its all about bills and responsibilities! Bring on the role models who grew up with the values we dream of seeing in young girls today… enough of the XBox world already!
June 22nd, 2009 at 9:25 pm
LMAO at MJB. You are so right about these grown looking high school males and how hard it is to tell their age. Male or female it’s definitely in the food. To avoid being a Chris Hansen special we just gotta check ID every time!