CPAC…The Republican Gift That Keeps Giving

Last week when I wrote my article asking whether Republicans were really stupid, CPR responded jokingly to me on Facebook that I was turning the Insanity Report into the DailyKos.  Now there’s no way in Hell the Insanity Report is anywhere close to the extremely left leaning DailyKos.  I like to think that we focus more in common sense and it just so happens that lately Republicans have lost theirs.  But still, I did think we have been leaning heavily on the Republican bashing and so my plan was to write an article about President Obama’s plan to increase the number of troops in Afghanistan…something that I think is very stupid.  In fact, I’d take an increase in troops in Iraq before Afghanistan.  So that’s what I was going to write about.  And while I still plan on writing about it, I’m sorry but I can’t let the idiocy that happened at the Conservative Political Action Conference (CPAC) go unnoticed.

CPAC is an annual conference held by conservatives so they can come together and discuss conservative issues and values.  You would think that after the November 2008 ass pounding they got they would focus on how to rebrand themselves and diversify their party.  I’m not a highly paid political analyst, I’m just a guy with a webpage.  But even I can see that the reason Senator Barack Obama is now President Barack Obama is that he not only talked about change and hope, but he rebranded the Democratic party and expanded their voting base.  He won North Carolina, Virginia and Indiana.  If I told you a Democrat, never mind a black one, was going to win those in a general election against a white male Republican war hero, you would have had me committed.  But that’s what happened and all because tactics and strategies were changed.  So, if I was a republican that’s what I would be looking to do.  I would be looking to find a way to diversify the party and rebrand conservative ideas so they don’t come off as sounding so idiotic.  Of course, that’s just too much like right for these morons.

I knew CPAC was going to be the same old red meat republican bullshit when I read that Joe the Plumber was going to be on a panel speaking to young conservatives.  Why republicans would do something so stupid is beyond me.  This is like giving birth to a perfectly healthy baby and then infecting it with AIDS.  Yes, Joe the Plumber is that cancerous to me.  Between him and the Hockey mom/Pitbull with lipstick from Alaska, I don’t know who was the more ridiculous attempt to make a man married to a woman who shows up to the RNC wearing $300,000 with of clothing and accessories seem “in touch with the middle class.”

So it was already bad.  But then it got worse…much worse.  The highlight of Friday’s program was Jonathan Krohn, author of “Define Conservatism.”  Nothing out of ordinary about that…except Jonathan is 13.  Yes, you read that right.  13.  Conservatives are now listening to a 13 year old.  I think I’m going to quit my job and become a Republican Strategist.  It’s gotta be the easiest job in the world because no matter how ridiculous the idea, republicans will back it and refuse to admit it was stupid.  So I listened to Jonathan’s speech and while yes, I am a little bias, I still couldn’t see what all the hype was about.  Sure, he’s extremely articulate for his age and the way he used his hands when he talked makes him very animated and engaging.  But when you actually listened to his 2 minute speech, you heard the same thing you hear in most red meat conservative speeches.  For those that have never heard a Republican speech in it’s entirety, let me run it down for you:

Conservatives…blah blah blah Principles over ideology blah blah blah Conservative blah blah blah Fiscal responsibility, personal responsibilities and moral values blah blah blah Liberals are socialists blah blah blah Tax cuts blah blah blah Conservative conservatives blah blah blah Did we mention tax cuts? Blah blah blah Principles blah blah blah We are the defenders of the Constitution (There’s never any applause or laughter for this joke)

There you have it.  That right there sums up Jonathan’s speech and just about every other republican speech I’ve ever heard.  The only thing that was surprisingly missing was the obligatory Rush Limbaugh ass kissing.  Which brings me to the last thing about CPAC – Rush Limbaugh.

Now to be fair to Republicans, Rush Limbaugh does make some valid points when it comes to conservative values.  That said, the problem with Rush is that he acts as if the entire country believes in the same conservative values as him.  For instance, if I believe in fiscal responsibility (which I do) then according to Rush not only must I believe that the conservative path to fiscal responsibility is right but I also must believe in all other conservative view points (immigration, gay rights, etc.)  There is no compromise with Rush Limbaugh and that’s the biggest problem with him and why he’s such a huge douche bag.  It also doesn’t help that when appearing before CPAC this weekend he once against said flatly that he hopes President Obama fails.  While that might fire up and motivate the base, I can’t help but think of how stupid it is to flatly say that you hope the guy with the 68% approval rating and who lead the onslaught against your party getting ass pounding, fails.

The real problem here is that the highlights of CPAC seem to be 3 people, none of whom have ever held a political office (Hell, one of them isn’t even old enough to vote yet).  This is what leaves me confused as to why republicans seem to fall over themselves to apologize if they ever speak ill of Rush Limbaugh.  Sure, the guy has a loud mouth and a big following in the conservative base.  But since he’s never been in office, he has the luxury of spouting off conservative theories without addressing the fact that in many cases, there are consequences of what he says should happen that affect the other half of the country. It’s easy to spout off “Tax Cuts” and “Free Market” and “Fiscal Responsibility” when you don’t actually have to balance the budget with the needs and will of the people.   And remember, this same fat fuck talking about fiscal responsibility was right there with some other idiots talking about let’s go into Iran.  How does he propose to pay for that War?  Monopoly money?

So again, the question I ask is “Who is going to lead the Republican Party into the future?”  Some say it’s new RNC Chairman Michael Steele, but even Steele has yielded to Rush Limbaugh in terms of running back to Rush with his tail between his legs to say “I’m Sorry, I didn’t mean to speak ill of you.”  Mitt Romney won the CPAC Presidential poll for the 3^rd straight year and while Romney doesn’t thrill me, he does seem to be somewhat reasonable.  The question is, will republicans follow him or will they continue to listen to idiots like Rush.