Wow, who would have thunk it? Soulja Boy is on pace to only sell 35, 000 copies of his sophomore album in it’s first week. If you couldn’t tell, that was sarcasm. Of course I’m not surprised. He’s garbage. Always has been and always will be. To be honest, I still think 35,000 is a lot of copies. I’ve said it before, I’ll say it again: He’s Hip Hop’s William Hung.
The fact remain, in order to have longevity in the music industry (or in any field really) you need to have some sort of talent. Fads and gimmicks work on getting you noticed and getting your foot in the door but then you run into three problems:
1. Copy cats (Sadly if you asked a rapper “If another rapper jumped off a cliff would you?” that rapper would answer “I’d do it twice”)
2. People get tired of it (Just like I’m hoping men get tired of wearing skinny jeans)
3. Another fad pops up (I’m still trying to figure out the current Fad. I think it’s putting Lil Wayne or T-Pain on any sort of track. It could be a track of you taking a shit. People would still buy it)
I’ve never knocked Soulja Boy’s hustle. Hell, if people are stupid enough to make you rich off of 2nd grade rhyming ability, barely English lyrics and a YouTube dance that makes the practitioner look like they are going through PCP withdraw…then get that money. However, since you really have no musical talent, I’m not going to praise you for it either. Just last week (or so) Soulja Boy released a YouTube video apologizing for his lyrics on “Crank That.” Oh really? I seem to remember all the Soulja Boy supporters saying that he makes “music for the kids.” Not so much I guess? Anyway, that apology should have been issued a long time ago. Not because I think he needed to, but because if you are going to try to “reinvent yourself” to boost your record sales, you need to do that at least 6 months before the album drops. Let’s face it, Soulja Boy became lazy. Even his album title is damn near the same…he just added an ‘i’ in front and dropped the ‘.com’ at the end. Come on. Fads have notorious short life spans, especially ones that target kids. Hell, I can admit to wearing my pants backwards when Kriss Kross first came out…but 3 months of trying to unzip my ass to take a piss made me realize how retarded it was. Before that it was the slanted Bobby Brown high top fade. Trust me…kids latch on to fads quickly and drop them just as quickly.
Soulja Boy…you’re about to meet the cold hard reality. Dude you’re 18 now. You’re no longer a little kid and unless you pull a Bow Wow and completely reinvent yourself, you’re going to tank faster than a Jennifer Lopez movie (Gigli anyone?). Now that you’re 18, that “He’s just a kid” defense doesn’t work and people will actually expect you to try to show a glimmer of talent. The problem is, the adult rap game is already polluted with no talent hacks (Plies is about to sell 90,0000 his first week. WTF? Dude needs Neyo to translate what he’s saying on his records) and you’re below even their limited talent abilities. Look, I’ll give you some help. You have no lyrical talent. We both know that (Remember your freestyle? I rest my case). But what you do have that a lot of artist out there don’t have is a knowledge about YouTube and Web 2.0 technology. Give up the music career and focus on becoming a consultant for artists with real talent. That’s your best bet. Cause right now you’re approaching 14 minutes on your 15 minutes of fame and the clock is running down. Tick. Tick. Tick.
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